2000AD PROG 1937-Review- At least a beaten dog knows how to lie

Writers and artists: Various
Publisher: Rebellion (Rebellion?)
Released: 1st July 2015



It’s supposed to be hot today, but I’m not hot. I’m cool, man. Yeah, ha ha, I’m cool alright, that’s why I read comic books, and that’s why I’m spending my time now, indoors, typing away, listening to black metal and writing more words about PROG 1937 of 2000AD than anybody else will bother to do. And why should they bother? It’s hot, they are outdoors, doing sweaty stuff, but I’m cool, so I’ll stay indoors doing cool stuff, and onto the review.

It starts with Judge Dredd, we get some torture, it works, and I’ve had enough of the story already. Torture doesn’t work in the real world, but as long as they pretend that it works in the realm of fiction (see 24) the justification stands. All evidence coming from western torture centres (Guantanamo Bay) that demonstrates how torture actually works (it plants information, rather than extracting it) continues to be ignored by a criminally complacent, compliant, condoning mainstream media. Until torture is shown for what it actually is, nothing changes.

Absalom starts in a 1980's UK care home with some Satanic child abuse. It’s nice to see some reality in 2000AD for a change. I’m not joking btw, see David Icke for more details. However, it denigrates quickly with the cops acting as heroes trying to protect the public. Sorry, but reality doesn’t work like that. Cops work for the state, not the public. They protect their masters, like the obedient dogs that they are. The tax paying, voting for slavery, cattle public is controlled, not protected, and cops are little more than the dogs of the corporate elites. Don’t believe me? Try going to a cop when you need help, and see what his response is. They don’t care, because it’s not their job to care. It’s their job to maintain the status quo of their masters, and that is what they do. Absalom ends this week with a reference to Jim Davidson, a comedian whose jokes were woefully dated in 1993. Oh dear. How long does this one run for?

Helium is starring another dog of the elites, a female dog this time. The world controllers love female dogs, they are so materialistic, so career orientated, so easy to control, and so willing to do anything, as long as it pleases their masters. Girl power baby, anyway, this female dog/cop is on protect the public duty, just like Absalom, so at least 2000AD has it’s story straight. Cops protect, remember that, even though it’s not true. The story is better than Absalom, but it is very progressive with men in the role of women and women in the role of men. Welcome to the New World order kids. Don’t be sexist, have a nice day. The story ends with a bloke talking about destroying the world in order to save it. Hey, with a progressive mindset like that the guy is perfect new world order material. If he does what he is told and looks good on the tel lie vision he could even be a future EU technocrat, head of a troika bank or the next US president. Quick, somebody get him a scholarship immediately.

I’m in no mood for nonsense this week. It must be the weather, as truth is boiling up, and rising as steam from my keyboard, and onto the screen, vomited onto the Internet for one man and his dog to look at, dismiss, and to continue their lives as usual.

Next story in 2000AD is Outlier. Oh crud. I couldn’t make any sense of it last week. This week must be better, right? Oh, double crud, it’s beginning with a weak man and a strong, determined, steely-eyed woman bossing everyone around. I see patterns evolving. I read on, and they’re soldiers, or cops, more dogs of the elites. Patterns man, patterns, they form a whole, and the picture is tyranny in a uniform, wearing lipstick, smile, comply or they’ll send the drones.

I’m almost at the end of PROG 1937 of 2000AD now, with one story to go, and it’s been about worship of the uniform, of authority, of female authority working for the corporate elites. That’s not good, but I have faith, so onto the final story, a new one, Jaegir/Tartarus- Part One. Ah man. Here we go again, a female soldier, bossing around the men on the first page, she’s tough in control, action, now back-story.  The villains in this one are dressed up like Nazi’s, no joke, bloody Nazi’s again. Oh, and it has dinosaurs in it. The story is about a young woman acting like a man, following orders in the army, like a female dog, end of review.

I’m very disappointed with PROG 1937 of 2000AD, because there’s nothing here for me, at all. It’s all strong independent female dog stuff. I’m not a female Police officer, or a female army officer, and I consider neither of these two types of people to be worthy of my time. I hope that they have lots of fun following orders and acting like men, but I don’t care about them, and I don’t particularly want to read about them either.

2000AD wasted my time, and now it’s just wasted more of my time on a review that will do me no good whatsoever, and will only end up with bad feeling against me, and inevitable accusations of sexism.

I want to be clear. I dislike feminist liberal marxist types. I dislike the neoliberal corporate status quo. I dislike social justice warriors. I dislike fake rebellion. I dislike anti-human, anti-family propaganda that comes from corporate whore mainstream media programming. I want genuine rebellion in my comics. I want comics that recognise truth and attack, attack, attack. They are rare, but these are the times in which we are living, and if nobody else is going to call out the neoliberal consensus of contemporary comics, I’ll do it myself.

PROG 1937 of 2000AD is a whimpering female dog, begging to serve, all rebellion is gone, oh dear, I think it just pi***d itself. Last week I saw some hope in 2000AD, but this week all I see is a cowered dog, beaten into submission by a friendly faced socially conscious, progressive slave master. I usually recommend that you pick up 2000AD, if only for one of the stories, but this week it’s pure junk. Pat Mills is gone. Slaine is taking a break. He’ll return in 2016, but what is left, what is there to enjoy in 2000AD at the moment? Not a lot I’m afraid. It’s going to be a long, hot, summer, and I’m starting to really feel it now.


Rating: 1/10 (Good cover)


Do you feel defeated? Do you feel like there is no hope, that sleep is the only escape from new world order tyranny, but that even sleep aludes you now? Watch this video. Here it is, defeated masculinity, predicted by the Richey Manic era Manic Street Preachers in 1993:

Pathetic, isn't it? Don't give up, don't accept the new world order, fight against it, the fight is not over, it is only just beginning. The masses are asleep, but the masses never change a thing. Don't seek the change, be the change. Be strong, be annoying, be loud, be aggressive, be unpopular, be free. 

Digital comic book review: Dark Moon #2- Invoking Happy Memories of Doom

Title: Dark Moon #2

Released: 18th June 2015

Creators Website:
http://www.darkmooncomic.com/wpl6l6yynmz1ttq1sfct3x1m39ehb1


Click link below to read Dark Moon #2 for FREE:
http://freematik.deviantart.com/art/Dark-Moon-2-Into-the-Abyss-540417867




Do you like comic books? Do you like fun? Do you like things that are free?  If so, I have some good news for you. Click on the link at the top of this review and you will find a FREE AND FUN sci-fi digital comic book about astronauts and creepy alien monsters.

There is no catch. You don’t have to sign up for anything. You don’t even have to type in your name, or email address, or take a survey. It’s free, it really is free, no catches.

So what exactly is Dark Moon #2, and why should you bother clicking on the link at all, free or not?  I’ll explain:

Dark Moon #2 is a digital comic book, with an accompanying musical sound track. All you have to do is right click and the entire experience unfolds before you. The story is simple. It’s about a group of astronauts investigating a suspiciously deserted alien planet and attempting to uncover just what the heck is going on.

The music is amazing. It’s spooky, creepy, atmospheric, dark, chilling, and takes me back to the days when I used to play Doom. It has that same tension, that same anxiety, that same feeling that something bad is about to happen, that you are being stalked and that any second now something horrible is going to jump out of the shadows and scare the beejeezus out of you.

Dark Moon #2 has an excellent sound track, but it’s not just about the music. The art is stark and uncluttered, and uses a dark grey palette, with a vivid blood red exploding onto the screen during startling moments of horror. The music builds tension, leading you calmly, spookily, inevitably into dramatic moments of fight or flight horror. The art follows the same template, and compliments the music perfectly.

An overly complicated script could have stripped the enjoyment out of this project, but you don’t have to worry about that here. The script serves the tension building experience, and is not trying to impress with elaborate cleverness or gimmickry. It keeps the story moving, builds up the tension, and gives the reader the information they need in order to fully immerse themselves within the narrative.

The script and artwork in Dark Moon #2 do exactly what they are supposed to do. They are in perfect synch with the movie quality soundtrack, and by keeping it simple, they combine to create a tremendously enjoyable, spooky, tension filled digital comic book experience.

I’m an old cynic, and I talk a lot about neoliberalism and horrible real world realities, but I also like a bit of fun in my life as well. Dark Moon #2 is a lot of fun, and it’s free. What more could you ask for? Click the link, enjoy the book, and tell people about it. Free fun is what you are getting here, and who in the world would not want to experience that?


Rating: 7.5/10 (Lots of tension, and lots of fun)

Politically Correctness and the 2000AD Sci-Fi Special- Is the tide beginning to turn?

This article will reference the following comic strip:

Title: Robo Hunter- Iron Sam, by Alec Worley, Mark Simmons & Ellie De Ville

In: 2000AD Sci-Fi Special, Summer 2015.

Released: 24th June 2015

Publisher: Rebellion



I couldn’t believe what I was reading today. A comic book strip that was actually pointing out the totalitarian censorship mindset of the social justice warrior brigade. There it was, tucked away, sneakily within the pages of my favourite rebel comic book, the 2015 sci-fi special of 2000AD.

Robo-Hunter- Iron Sam, by Alec Worley goes where other PC comic books fear to tread, taking subtle digs at the Internet thought Police. The narrative involves a murderous ‘Sentient Social Media Virus’ running rampage and murdering anybody for crimes against (a very contemporary definition) of feminist liberal political correctness. This virus has contaminated killer robots, and they are going around town looking to murder anybody not sufficiently PC.

Have you ever had an online encounter with the Marxist, feminist, liberal, politically correct crowd? They are young, straight out of university and determined to ‘educate’ the world about the evils of racism, sexism, homophobia, Islamaphobia and white male, rape culture patriarchy. I have had a few encounters with these lovely people, and it’s quite the experience.

Robo-Hunter

I thought that I was supposed to be the ‘conspiracy’ nut around here, but these purple haired whack jobs are the biggest conspiracy loons going. Everything is the fault of white men and patriarchy. I apparently have the huge benefit of ‘white privilege’ which is news to me, especially as I go to my minimum wage night-shift job for my latest ten-hour shift. Forget reality though, as these people always know best, are never wrong, and as they are ‘victims’ you are just a ‘troll’ if you throw nasty things like facts at them.

The PC brigade are not too keen on facts, and reality, but the one thing they hate more than anything else, is people disagreeing with them. Try it. They have two responses: 1- They will scurry for the ban hammer, and attempt to censor you. 2- They will call you a racist, sexist, homophobic bigot (without evidence) and refuse to debate the issue you are supposed to be talking about. These people are absolute darlings. They hate debate, love censorship and are never wrong about anything, and if you upset them with different opinions or facts you are oppressing them.

It’s a sad state of affairs today, because these feminist Marxist PC Internet moral crusaders have almost completely infiltrated mainstream comic books, and it is difficult to find ANY comic book that is brave enough to take them on.

I think that it’s fair to say that the majority of comic book writers working today are left leaning, ‘progressive’ and liberal in their political belief systems. How do I know this? Look at my blog. I read their comics, lots of them. Because of this one-sided political outlook they are happy to embrace the loony PC brigade and give them exactly what they want, and the result is a lack of diversity in contemporary comic books.

'Dust' in 2000AD SS 2015 has a great twist at the end.

Do we really need another book about a punk-haired feisty female protagonist battling against a Christian preacher, or some other random evil white man? What exactly is that achieving? And do I even have to mention what Marvel and DC are doing right now with their PC obsessed messing around with the race and gender of their long-running characters?

That’s fine, if you want to write about strong independent 1970’s punk girls then do that, and if you want to write about a lesbian dwarf albino with bi-polar issues then do that as well, some people will like it, but what about the rest of us? Surely there should be a bit of diversity in comic books? That’s a good thing, right? I’m not asking for sexist, racist, homophobic monstrosities of tastelessness, but please, please, please, at least give me something that isn’t coming from a feminist liberal, Marxist, politically correct point of view.

Imagine my delight then when I read a comic strip that mocked the totalitarian, censorship mentality of the feminist Marxist loon brigade. I was starting to give up hope. I was starting to think that comic books had been completely infiltrated, that the red flag was here to stay, and that my days of reading them would soon be numbered, but then I read Robo-Hunter, and wow, what a shock that was.

So, the entire point of this article (and he probably won’t even read it) is just to say thank-you to writer Alec Worry.

I don’t know how you did it mate, but you’ve done something out of the ordinary here. You’ve used satire to illustrate the logical endgame where the Internet PC thought police finally get what they really want, that being the power to legally murder anybody that disagrees with them. I know it’s satire, but all good satire cuts close to the bone, telling truth that would not be tolerated in a straight narrative format.

Rogue Trooper in 2000AD SS has a strong message about war propaganda

After all, Marxists have a history of murdering those that disagree with them.

‘The highest death tolls that have been documented in communist states occurred in the Soviet Union under Joseph Stalin, in the People's Republic of China under Mao Zedong, and in Cambodia under the Khmer Rouge. The estimates of the number of non-combatants killed by these three regimes alone range from a low of 21 million to a high of 70 million’ 
(‘Mass killings under Communist regimes’ from Wikipedia, sorry, but that’s what people look at now)

The ridiculous situation that occurs in Robo-Hunter, with PC robots killing anybody that disagree with their social justice warrior virus, though silly and over the top, is a lot closer to the truth than people might want to admit. The left is all about collectivism, and if you don’t want to be a part of the collective, they are more than happy to put a bullet through your head. That’s not my opinion. It doesn’t matter what I think, it’s historical fact that communism always ends up with piles of corpses. We need to stop bowing to Internet fools with red flags and useless degrees in the liberal arts, and start getting some real diversity back-into our comic books.

Thanks, once again to Alec Worley. Nice job mate. Thanks for sending me into the weekend on a high. It’s very brave of you to go up against the red tide, and that is what you have done here. Good luck, you have a supporter over here.

Is this the beginning of a truth revolution in comic books? To quote Muse, ‘You can revolt, you can revolt.’ It’s true, we can, and it begins by telling the truth about what is going on right now, and if truth isn’t very PC, well sod it, tell it anyway.



Mass killings under communist regimes:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass_killings_under_Communist_regimes

Cookie Monster Debuts In Conan Comic Book- Review- Conan the Avenger #15

Full comic title: Conan the Avenger- Xuthal of the Dusk, Part Three.’

Writer: Fred Van Lente
Artist: Guiu Vilanova
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Released: 24th June 2015



I love me some Conan. Give me some scantily clad maidens in need of rescue, horrible monsters, scheming sorcerers and their dodgy daughters and Conan himself with his big phallic sword and I’m as happy as a banker on bonus day.

I was having a great time reading Conan the Avenger #15. Conan had fallen through a trapdoor, a naked maiden was tied to a dungeon wall, and a monster was lurking, but then something very strange happened.

THE COOKIE MONSTER SHOWED UP.

If you don’t believe me, buy the book for yourself, turn to page ten, and tell me that isn’t the Cookie Monster. I was looking for an image of the page somewhere on the Internet to include in this review, but I couldn’t find one, so I’ll just have to use another picture instead.

What else is there to say about a Conan book that features a surprise special guest appearance by the Cookie Monster? You don’t get any better than that, and even though this version of “Xuthal of the Dusk” is noticeably inferior to the 1977 version in ‘The Savage Sword of Conan #20’, that version, good as it was, didn’t have the Cookie Monster in it.

If you haven’t yet read the book, then you need to get it immediately. Trust me on this one, it’s not every day that you get the big blue guy showing up in a Dark Horse Comic book, and if you miss his absolutely hilarious debut in Conan the Avenger #15 you’ll be kicking yourself for the rest of the year.


Rating: 7/10 ("Me want cookie! Me eat cookie!")

Drifter Vol 1- Out Of The Night- Graphic Novel Review- Lost In Space

Writer: Ivan Brandon

Artist: Nic Klein

Publisher: Image Comics

Released: June 2015

Drifter takes the tried and trusted old lost in space idea, throws in a disorientating and deliberately abstract narrative and aims to intrigue the reader, hook him, and keep him there for the duration of the story. Keep reading, keep buying, and we’ll let you know what is going on at the end of the book. You know how it works.

The narrative is focussed on a confused newcomer to a weird sci-fi space place. His ship crashes, things are hazy, he doesn’t know what happened to sections of time, and as the reader follows his tale it’s clear that this confusion is meant to titillate, to get you to speculate about what has happened, and what is now currently happening. Annoyed or intrigued? It’s a fine line, and the book often tumbles over into the annoying category. 

A feeling of cool detachment permeates the book, and the dialogue often reads as fragments of drunken poetry, of a writer more interested in saying something that sounds good, rather than something that is going to help the reader understand his narrative. It’s a reader unfriendly book, it’s going to do what it wants, and if you can make something out of it, then good luck with that. There’s a story here, but writer Ivan Brandon is not going to make it easy for you.

The characters are not as strange as they first appear. They are neoliberal standards, the kind of characters that you always see in contemporary comic books. There’s the punk haired tough teen girl who acts like a man. There’s the crazed Christian (It’s always a crazed Christian, never a crazed Jew or Muslim). There’s the weirdly tough and independent adolescent girl, a standard now, as kids are being taught to accept a new world order where Daddy will no longer have a role. She follows a reluctant father figure, a stand-in for the absent father choosing to run away from his children, a worryingly consistent narrative aspect of our times, at least in works of fiction. Your father has abandoned you kids, now run into the loving arms of Big Daddy State. 

The main protagonist is adrift. A man alone dumped onto a strange new world. I found no substance to him. He misses his girlfriend, doesn’t smile, and lashes out with violence, but his main role is to serve the story, and to unravel the mystery behind the narrative. He’s a blank page, and it’s hard to empathise with a blank page.

Drifter Vol. 1- Out of the Night has a lot of intrigue cool, but it’s dense, trying to be something more than it is by hiding the narrative within hazy narration and character dialogue and memory loss scenarios in the plot-line. It irritated me. There was a lot of cleverness going on, but not a lot of insight or narrative clarity. I like a good story, well told, not a confusing one, abstractly told. 

There was something annoyingly student art project about it. It’s trying to be clever, trying to impress, when all I really wanted was a good story that I could jump into and enjoy. The story is a tease, and I get suspicious about these kinds of stories. They tease, and tease and tease, stringing you on for as long as possible, and then when they finally do reveal what it was all about, it’s not very exciting, revelatory or revolutionary anyway. It’s just another book, and now you have 25 issues of it, 25 issues where you kept reading on, hoping for an answer, and when it finally comes, you find that it wasn’t worth all the time (and money) spent investing in it anyway.  

I got this book for just over a fiver, and I read it all in just over twenty minutes, so I don’t feel conned by it. I feel a bit confused, but that’s the point of the book. It wants to keep you confused so you’ll keep on buying it. I won’t be doing that. There’s not enough here for me to invest in. The characters are either too familiar (in a fictional sense) or not developed enough for me to care about them. It has a cool factor about it, but that’s a huge turn-off for me these days.

I’m starting to despise cool. Cool is for the young. I’m past caring about cool. I have no use for it anymore. The youthful obsession and deception of cool no longer appeals. Drifter is okay. It’s a book that attempts to intrigue and have the reader follow along in hopes of a bombshell explanation at the end of the narrative. It doesn’t quite work for me, but I didn’t hate it.

Rating: 6/10 (Obtuse sci-fi book that is not quite as intriguing as it wants to be)

Comic Review: 2000AD PROG 1936- ‘It’s our defiance that makes us truly human.’

Publisher: Rebellion
Writers and artists: Various
Released: 24th June 2015



I hadn’t been counting it down, but I knew that it couldn’t last forever, and now the time has finally come. It’s the last issue of Slaine, after PROG 1936 it will be gone until 2016, and although I’m happy that it will return, it’s going to leave an irreplaceable gap in my comic book reading week for the rest of the year. Oh well, chin up boy, nothing lasts, enjoy the good times, as they won’t last forever, and so I intend to enjoy Slaine, and then wallow in misery and think about the good times when it’s gone. So, if you happen to see a lonely, bedraggled comic book reviewer in the pub over the next couple of months, be nice, the withdrawal symptoms are going to be tough on this one.

Enough of the silliness, and onto PROG 1936 of 2000AD which begins, as always, with Judge Dredd. This week he’s landed in Irish stereotype land. Get ready for some drinking, fighting and wife beating, ha ha ha, it’s so much fun laughing at the stupid drunken, funny talking Irish, and nobody is going to call you out on it either. When did it become okay to do that? I must have missed a memo or something, because in a day and age when people get upset and take massive offence at trivialities, it appears that the Irish stereotype is one thing that you are still allowed to get away with. Umm, I wonder why that is? Actually, I know why. It’s a pigmentation issue, if you know what I mean.

The next strip (Absalom) is about that annoying pub bore bloke, the guy with PC jokes masquerading as edgy social commentary. Okay, I’ll give him a second chance, lets see if he’s as irritating as he was last week. I’m all for second chances, not that anybody even gave me a first chance, but that’s another story.

Okay, we start with 80’s pop group references and care home children. Is this going to be about the ‘historic’ child abuse scandal that is going on in the UK at the moment? It kind of is, and it kind of isn’t. It’s talking about children being taken by establishment figures and used in a fictional fight against demons, but then it makes a mistake, choosing the easy target (Christianity) instead of focussing on the real life villains (politicians from all parties).

I understand that the Christian church is an easy target right now, but the child abuse scandals are not about the church, they are about politicians, and how paedophilia was (and still is) used to blackmail politicians into following the agenda of their masters. If you are going to do an ‘edgy’ story about 1980’s child-abuse, but with added demons and monsters to make it ‘sci-fi,’ why pretend that the abusers were Christians, when Christians had nothing to do with it?

The child abuse rings in the UK revolve around politicians and BBC celebrities, so why not be honest about it and give those poor old Christians a break for a change? I’m not a Christian myself, but this prolonged multifaceted attack on the Christian faith is starting to get very obvious now, and I’m getting really fed up with it. It’s cowardly, and in this particular story, completely unjustified.

Wow, the beginning of Slaine references the global flood, who was responsible, and why it was done. This is really exciting for me, as it ties into my own research on the subject. The narrative then hints at genetic manipulation by the ‘gods’ and the immortal spirit that reside in all of us.  I can’t quite believe that I’m reading about this kind of information in a mainstream comic book, this is great, and although I’m massively biased, you have to at least take some of my enthusiasm on face value and take a look at this for yourself.

No more spoilers, no more praise, get Slaine NOW. It’s the last chance that you’ll have to read it in 2000AD this year, and if you miss it and end up reading (and loving) it sometime in the distant future, remember that there was at least somebody out there who was raving about it on a weekly basis.

My review is going a bit long this week, so I’m thankful for Outlier/Dark Symmetries. It has no dialogue. I don’t know who is who, and there’s a fight going on, or something. I must be a bit dim, as I’ve read it two times and I can’t get anything out of it at all. This one has lost me. I’ve tried, but nope, I can’t get anything, nice art though.

Helium is much better. Not a lot happens this week, it’s a character building issue, but what does happen is very entertaining and genuinely funny as well. I like the main protagonist now and I want her to succeed, and coming from a cynical, angry old grump like myself, that’s a huge compliment.

I enjoyed two out of the five stories in PROG 1936 of 2000AD and I got a huge kick out of the superb front cover by Tiernen Trevallion. Two out of five, with an awesome cover, isn’t bad. I’m happy with that.

Helium is a very well written tale. I love the slow pacing, and the character building and I’m really getting into the story. Slaine/Primordial has been special, and I’ll go back now and read all of the stories together, savouring each gorgeously constructed panel and the best dialogue that I’ve read in a comic book for many a year. I’ll miss it, but it will return.

Last week I was blindsided by foolish optimism and purchased more than my usual share of DC Comic books. Man, was that a mistake. Listen to my advice. Don’t do it, they are bloody awful and aimed at a feminist studies student circa 1996. Who is buying this nonsense? It’s a mystery to me. You don’t get anywhere near as much of that US brand of PC nonsense in 2000AD, and Tharg’s book still feels somewhat like an old fashioned subversive comic book.

I can see signs of the PC brigade moving into 2000AD though, so I just hope that Tharg holds out against the tide of political correctness. It’s not going to be easy, but I have faith in the old alien. This era of the social justice warrior is killing comics for me, so I appreciate 2000AD more than ever. It’s not perfect, but there’s always something within its pages that brightens up my day, and compared to the teen feminism of DC, Marvel and most of the so-called ‘independent’ US comic books, 2000AD stands alone as something refreshingly alive and defiantly different.


Rating: 8/10 (For the Cover, Slaine and Helium)

* Quote in review title is a line of dialogue taken from Slaine. Without defiance what have we become? Cattle bred, and waiting for leisurely slaughter (that quote is from me). 

Comic Review: Fight Club 2 #2- Repackaging Fake Cool Revolution

Writer: Chuck Palahniuk
Artist: Cameron Stewart
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Released: 24th June 2015



There’s no shining up this one. Fight Club 2 #2 has now officially plopped down, and the only thing to do with it is to flush it away as soon as possible, open the window and spray the heck out of the room to remove the foul stench of it’s existence.

Can we finally bury the 1990’s now, please? No more attempts at nostalgia cool, it’s getting a bit embarrassing and very desperate now. Yes, I know that Nirvana were great, but the dude died in 1994, find something new, find something that says something about NOW, not then.

Fight Club #2 is Nirvana, grown up, married, buried, not dead, but it might as well be. The narrative follows a bored suburban couple. The man is old, tired and useless, his wife is having an affair, but because it’s Fight Club, she’s having an affair with the married bloke’s alter ego, Tyler six-pack. Throw in a child kidnapping (Yawn, somebody call Liam Neeson) and vague references to change (call Obama) and you have your book.

It’s very boring, the jokes are ‘cool’ and meaningless, and nothing about it holds any interest to me, mainly because, as I said before, it’s a 1990’s relic, rejuvenated for nostalgia cool, and not something that should be read by anybody under the age of about thirty-five.

I’m over the age of thirty-five, and I remember the movie when it was first released. It was cool, we thought it was saying something, and it probably was, but what it said was largely back-drop to the all pervading ‘cool.’ The world watched, took nothing from, it other than entertainment value, and carried on doing the same voting, buying and moaning that they always do.

Fight Club was a movie that appeared to be revolutionary, but that was surface, as this comic book now proves. No revolution is happening here. Don’t expect it from career cool people, and don’t expect it from those hanging onto 90’s glories.

I decided to give Fight Club 2 a chance. After two issues I’m done with it. Nirvana were great, move on, get something new. Fight Club was great, move on, get something new.


Rating: 3/10 (Redundant)

Movie review: Mr Holmes- Painful Truth or a Happy Lie?

Director: Bill Condon
Starring: Ian McKellen

Release Dates:
19 June 2015 (United Kingdom)
17 July 2015 (United States)

Rating: PG



First off, this movie is nowhere near as good as Gods and Monsters. Secondly, it doesn’t quite succeed in humanising the human calculator, Sherlock Holmes.

The plot is centred on the final case of the great detective, a case that ends in failure, leading him to retire to the country, and to take up a new life as a full-time Beekeeper. The case is explored in flashback with Holmes battling old age and memory loss in order to retell a story that he feels was inaccurately recorded by Dr. Watson.

The problem with this mystery case is that it happens very late in his career, and is not exactly exceptional in and by itself, so it feels more like a narrative plot device rather than the epiphany that would lead Holmes to completely re-evaluate his entire life. I didn’t quite believe in it, even though I really wanted to.

Great actor, mediocre script

When you don’t believe in a major plot point the movie has lost you, and the magic fades. It’s like seeing a magician put the card up his sleeve. You see the trick, and when it’s not a very good one you end up resenting the magician himself.

The emotional core of the movie is about a human calculator finally learning how to empathise and emotionally connect with his fellow human beings, and it should explode with repressed emotion finally being unleashed, but don’t expect any of that in Mr. Holmes.

There are moments of drama, of panic, of brief situational peril, but the emotional core is missing. There is no lost love, no unrequited relationships and no flashbacks where a teary eyed Holmes regrets the lack of physical or emotional attachments in his life. The human calculator does learn how to feel, but at 93 years of age, it feels way, way too late, and the moment of revelation, when it comes, is entirely underwhelming.

‘Mr. Holmes’ is ‘Gods and Monsters’ minus the emotional turmoil, sadness, despair and lack of redemption. It’s a happy lie version of an original movie about painful truth. Director Bill Condon has re-visited his seventeen-year-old masterpiece, and decided that it was a bit too truthful, and way too depressing. With ‘Mr. Holmes’ he has used the same narrative blueprint (confused old man with regrets, housekeeper, young confidant, flashbacks) and released a happier version of that exhilarating and emotionally draining triumph of a movie.

It will be interesting to see how cinema- goers react to this happier version of that far superior movie. I felt a tangible sense of disappointment in the auditorium as I made my way out of the cinema. A happy lie might be nice, but it’s a lie nonetheless. Cinema is at it’s best when you feel like you have been exposed to truth, no matter how unpleasant or uncomfortable that truth might be. Truth will hurt, but if given the choice between painful truth and a happy lie, I’ll happily choose painful truth every single time.


Rating: 6/10 (A happier version of a much better movie)

Comic Review: 2000AD PROG 1935- Defining the nature of darkness

Writers and artists: Numerous
Publisher: Revolution
Released: 17th June 2015


It’s been a tough, barren desert of a week for this comic book reviewer, with far too many useless DC Comic books wasting my time, and depressing my brain, so I’m going to finish the week on a high and review a comic book that always has something to offer. It’s not always great, but it’s always good, and after reading far too many childish superhero books that left absolutely no impression whatsoever (Doomed #1) it’s going to be a lot of fun to jump back to the UK and into PROG 1935 of good old 2000AD.

The book begins with Judge Dredd, and if you’ve read any of my previous reviews you’ll know he’s a character that I have always had (it goes back to my childhood) problems with, so I’m always prepared to get through his bit, and onto something that doesn’t annoy me so much. This week he’s playing the role of a cop on a television detective programme, and a conspiracy is afoot. Ho hum.

Next story is ‘Absalom- Under a False Flag’ a title that really whets my appetite. Unfortunately the story itself is really starting to get on my nerves. It’s the dialogue that’s doing me in. it’s so knowing, so ironic, so sarcastic, so deeply, deeply irritating. Three pages in and there’s smart-ass jokes about veganism, Amy Winehouse, a UK paedophile investigation, the Kray twins and racism in old John Wayne movies.

Enough, please, stop it. You’re killing the story with all of these endless bloody references. I can’t concentrate on what is going on, it’s like listening to the most annoying man in the pub, drunk, and on full volume telling the pub about how knowledgeable and witty he is. I don’t even care about the narrative anymore. I can’t concentrate on it, the dialogue is killing it for me and I’m finding it impossible to enjoy the actual story.

I had to put 2000AD aside for a while after enduring the smart arsery of Absalom, my nerves were in shreds, and I needed a strong cup of tea and a walk around the garden just to calm myself down and get into a calm frame of mind again. Thankfully when I returned I had the pleasure of once again diving into Pat Mills’ Slaine, a beautifully drawn strip, with dialogue that doesn’t have to rely on teenage showing off, because it actually has something to say. This week starts dark, with gloriously disgusting artwork, by the super talented Simon Davis, portraying the eaters of flesh, the feeders on pain, the tormentors of humanity. Without spoiling it, there’s a powerful message here, about those who would serve evil in the name of bringing peace. It’s brilliant, just like it always is.

Any story that can follow Slaine and not seem like an utterly underwhelming experience has to be good. ‘Outlier- Dark Symmetries’ is not going to wow anybody, but it has it’s own quiet self-confidence, and a pace to the story telling that I like. It’s character based, and the dialogue and art are very good. I’m not 100% sure about it yet, but it intrigues me, and that’s a good start, especially for something that had to follow the out of this world awesomeness that is Slaine.

Concluding 2000AD this week is ‘Helium- Part 2.’ It has a great start, a really enjoyable exchange between two characters that then leads to a further exploration of the narrative. That’s good writing by Ian Edginton, and I want to single it out for praise in this review. From this promising start a very clear picture of what is happening is then succinctly (but not rushed) laid out for the reader, with the narrative concluding on splendid moment of revelation that really has me looking forward to next week’s instalment.

Looking back at PROG 1935 of 2000AD I make that three stories out of five that I enjoyed. That’s pretty good for me, especially when you bear in mind that I’m a notoriously schizophrenic reviewer, and that I would probably dislike Judge Dredd no matter how good it is, just because it has Judge Dredd as a hero in it. I’ve been careful not to spoil Slaine, because it really has to be experienced for yourself and no matter how much I rave about it, I won't be able to do it full justice here in these reviews.

Get 2000AD this week (as usual) for Slaine, but it’s not just about him, there’s plenty more enjoyment to be had, and I’m going to say this just to spite myself. You’ll probably enjoy Judge Dredd and the very loud, annoying and obnoxiously knowing Absalom as well.



Rating: 9/10 (Slaine really is something else this week, gnawing through to the marrow of truth, it exposes the reasoning behind an individual’s willingness to serve a system of human enslavement.)

‘Diversity’ in DC Comic Books- A statistical breakdown of the lead protagonists in DC Comic books released on 17/6/2015

I hear a lot about ‘diversity’ in comic books these days, so I decided to take one week in comic books, one publisher (DC) and to look at the comic books to see how ‘diverse’ they actually are. The following books are either single person protagonist books, or two person protagonist books. I have not included the ‘team’ books that were released in the same week by DC (Four titles) as all four titles had multiple protagonists, both male and female. All of the titles that are listed below are single-issue comics, and were released by DC comics on Wednesday 17th June 2015. The list is simple. Name of comic, then the age, gender and race of the main protagonist(s).




Astro City #24 - Non Human (ape)

Black Canary #1- Late teens/early twenties female (white)

Doomed #1 –Late teens/early twenties male (non-white)

Dr. Fate #1 – Late teens/early twenties male (non-white)

Harley Quinn & Power Girl #1- Late teens/early twenties females (white)

Martian Manhunter #1 – Alien.

Prez #1 – Late teens/early twenties female (white)

Robin Son Of Batman #1 – Early teens (male)

Sensation Comics Featuring Wonder Woman #11- Early twenties (female)

Sinestro #12 – Alien

Superman Wonder Woman #18 – Early twenties male and female (white)

Wonder Woman (2011) #41 – Early twenties female (white)


Conclusions

- None of the comic books have protagonists over the age of 30 years old (excluding aliens).
- White male protagonists appear in two out of twelve books. Superman (an alien) and Robin (a prepubescent boy).
- Young female protagonists appear in six out of twelve books.
- Non white (human) protagonists appear in two out of twelve books.
- Non human protagonists appear in three out of twelve books, four if you include Superman.
- Young females dominate the list of protagonists in DC comics during the week of 17/6/15.
- White males and non-white protagonists are minorities, represented in only two out of twelve books.
- Aliens (or non-humans) are protagonists in more books (four) than white males or non-white protagonists.
- None of the human characters are over the age of thirty.
- DC Comic books protagonists (on 17/6/15) are all young, and the majority are female.


Is that ‘diversity’ in comic books? Here’s the dictionary definition of the word:

diversity (daɪˈvɜːsɪtɪ  Pronunciation for diversity ) 

Definitions
noun

the state or quality of being different or varied
a point of difference
(logic) the relation that holds between two entities when and only when they are not identical; the property of being numerically distinct


DC comic books don’t appear (at least based on this sample week) to be very different or varied at all.

This is not my opinion. It is factual information based on looking at their actual comic book protagonists. If you are a young girl, or an alien, that’s great, but what about the rest of us? For everybody else living on planet Earth (and for ANYBODY) over the age of twenty-eight, you’re not going to see yourself being represented within the pages of a DC comic book, at least this week.

If (like me) you are a white male in his forties, then forget it. You’ll see alien shapeshifters, young female rock-stars, talking Gorillas, and girl presidents (Prez #1) but a male in his forties? A male in the demographic of the actual people buying the comic books? Don’t be daft. Who would want to read a comic book about a guy who actually looks like the people who are buying comic books? Don’t be silly. Now, here’s my latest idea for a new teen female punk rock rebellious heroine. It’s super cool dude, those old comic book geeks will love it, and it’s super PC and ‘diverse.’





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Comic review: Doomed #1- Perfect Teen Gets Powers

Writer: Scott Lobdell
Artist: Javier Fernandez
Publisher: DC Comics
Released: 17th June 2015


Doomed #1 is about a boy genius who gains superpowers after being contaminated in a science lab. It is a colourful, playful and inoffensive book, and is suitable for young children to read, unsupervised.

That’s the book, thanks for reading my review.

Okay, I’ll force myself.

The narrative in Doomed #1 follows a perfect specimen of comic book teendom, not much happens, apart from him being perfect. The tone is fluffy and nice. Oh, it does that old trick, starting with a moment of drama, then telling you how it got there. The book follows Mr perfect teen. He has a dream career waiting for him. He has a hot girl after him. He has some nice friends. He cleans a lab, gets contaminated, and is turned into a superhero/villain. This perfect teen is pretty much identical to Peter Parker.

The interesting question posed on the front cover of the comic book (Doomed. Is he hero, or villain?) is not even addressed, let alone resolved, and after finishing the book I’d already lost all interest in the answer to the question anyway.

Mr teen perfect is not real. He’s a cartoon, a happy smiling face on Nickelodeon, and he’s so soft, so unthreatening, so pathetic really. I don’t recall his name, not that it’s important, he could be anybody. Barry, Larry, Harry, whatever. He doesn’t resonate anything, he’s two-dimensional, a blank canvas perfect teen template that the writer can use to service a quick and meaningless comic book narrative that will shift a couple of units, or not.

Here’s an idea. How about writing a comic book tale that has as a protagonist, not a young teen who hasn’t yet experienced anything in life, but somebody a bit older, somebody with more colour, with more baggage, with more character and scope for narrative development?

If you insist on having all of the heroes/villains germinate as teens it limits the possibilities, and what inevitably ends up happening is a book like Doomed #1, with a generic teen protagonist who feels about as real as a fish based character in a Spongebox Squarepants cartoon.

‘But what about the audience,’ I hear the executives cry. Are they having a laugh? Who do they think is reading their comic books in 2015? It’s not teenagers, it’s old blokes like me.

Just go into any comic book shop, and you’ll see a vast variety of beards, but not that many school uniforms.

I don’t want to read about teens. Teens are boring, and they don’t interest me. Teens are just not yet fully formed adults, struggling for attention and faking every thing in a desperate need for attention. Look at me, look at my hair, look at my jacket, and listen to my loud voice and half-witted, ill-researched opinions. No thanks mate, I’d rather not. Come back when you’ve lived a little and have something interesting to say.

So what is the point in this latest teen superhero/villain book? It’s not exactly going to fly off the shelves, is it? Who exactly is calling out for another Spiderman clone book? Who is calling for another book about a teen getting powers in a lab? Who wants to read another book about a perfect teen and how he has troubles balancing, home, work, relationship and super powers in his life? Are people really calling out for this? Perhaps I’m wrong, please tell me if I am. I love being wrong, I really do.

So, again, and bearing in mind that it’s not going to be a best seller, what was the point in this book? Why does it even exist?

I guess it’s not going to offend anybody, so it has that going for it, if nothing else. And as DC is going out of it’s way to not offend anybody these days, then perhaps writer Scott Lobdell has achieved something after all? He’s written a generic teen gets powers comic book that won’t get him into trouble. He’s written a comic book that people won’t notice. He’s written a comic book that will be completely forgotten about this time, tomorrow. Well done Scott. You’ve written another superhero comic book with a teen protagonist that won’t offend anybody, just as DC wants it, and if that’s what they want, that’s what they get.


Rating: 3/10 (Move on, there’s nothing happening here)

Comic review: Martian Manhunter #1- Event Quality ‘Threat’ Book

Writer: Rob Williams
Artist: Eddy Barrows
Publisher: DC Comics
Released: 17th June 2015



I enjoyed this book. It had a very professional structure to it, screenplay quality, like it was pitching for a television series. The art was very good as well, top end event quality good, and the main protagonist was shown to be a man in a moral quandary, fighting against his programming, fighting against what he is supposed to do, knowing that what he is supposed to do is wrong.

I love this guy.

All top quality comic book stuff, so you can’t complain too much about it, as even if you dislike it, you have to acknowledge that this is a very competent and well put together product. The narrative though at it’s core is a threat based story, so although it might seem complex at first, it really isn’t, and the solutions to the threat are the same as they always are in superhero comics. Normal people are helpless victims, they need outside agencies to protect and save them, and that’s where the superheroes come in.

That’s the one assumption that bothers me the most about superhero comics, the idea that people are always victims, that they need saving, and that they can’t save themselves. The idea is insidious mind control, and it’s pushed by all spectrums of political control, from monarchy to communism to democracy. It’s all pretty much the same thing, and based on the same assumptions. You don’t need your own farm. That’s what supermarkets are for. You don’t need your own education. That’s what schools are for. You don’t need your own guns to protect yourself. That’s what the cops are for.  You don’t need anything of your own at all. That’s what government is for.

Do you see how it works?

So when people read comic book after comic book with superheroes saving helpless victims from various disasters (it’s unspecified ‘terrorists’ in this book) it plays into the cultural programming of learnt helplessness. The idea being that we don’t have to do anything for ourselves, that there’s always going to be some government sponsored agency that will take care of us, to protect us from all of the threats in the world that we are so helpless to protect ourselves from.

It’s not a great mind-set you know, and this is not my opinion. Democide is defined as, ‘Murder by government.’ In the past century our various forms of government have started to excel in murdering their own people. So continuing to rely on governments, or the outside agencies that work for them (as represented by superhero characters) in 2015? That’s probably not a good idea.

‘Democide is a term revived and redefined by the political scientist R. J. Rummel as "the murder of any person or people by their government, including genocide, politicide and mass murder." Rummel created the term as an extended concept to include forms of government murder that are not covered by the term genocide, and it has become accepted among other scholars. According to Rummel, democide passed war as the leading cause of non-natural death in the 20th century.’ (The Wikipedia definition of ‘Democide.’)

How many of their own people have governments murdered over the past century?

‘Let's start with a number: 262 MILLION. That's the number of unarmed people the late Prof. R. J. Rummel estimated governments murdered in mass killings he termed "democide" during the 20th century. "This democide murdered 6 times more people than died in combat in all the foreign and internal wars of the century," he wrote.’ (reason.com)

The superhero genre is fun, but it’s dangerous, especially when it portrays those in positions of authority as protectors of civilians, when the truth is very often the opposite. Those in positions of authority do not serve the people, they serve their masters, and their masters are government.

Perhaps that’s the one change that comic books need to make before they move forward and evolve the paradigm of dependence upon government authority that is currently caging humanity, and stopping any genuine hope, change or progression?

Martian Manhunter #1 is a fine comic book. It feels big-time, and that surprised me. It read like a Geoff John’s Justice League book, and it looked like one as well. That’s a huge compliment by the way. Everything was there, in place as it should be. Great art, interesting characters, a moral dilemma for the main protagonist and a cleverly constructed script. It was all very good, but that one problem remains. The problem being the idea that humanity is weak, helpless and needs to be saved.

Is it a structural problem, a problem that cannot be resolved without completely tearing apart the entire superhero genre itself? I don’t think so. All we need is less saving the world ‘threat’ plots, less dependence on outside forces, and an acknowledgement that human beings are not as weak and powerless as governments want them to be.

Mainstream corporate comic books buy into the lies of our time. They ignore truth, and promote the authority of government. They promote the lie that we are free people because we have a corrupted version of corporate democracy, a pathetic sham of freedom and choice owned and controlled by corporate/banking interests and protected by their career obsessed friends in the mainstream media.

It’s so easy to ignore truth. It’s so easy to buy a comic book, to enjoy the cool, and to not think about it any deeper than that. People need to stop with the adoration of the cool, they need to get beyond the deliberate ignorance and they need to get with reality. You can’t hide from reality forever. Sorry, did you think that life was just fun and games, that you can do whatever you like, just as long as you are doing what you are told? Sorry, but the laws of the universe don’t let us get away with that kind of behaviour. Sooner or later it’s payback time. You might ignore truth, but truth will not ignore you.

But how to change, what needs to be done? If you care, and most people don’t, read on.

Real change starts with a no, and a refusal to follow immoral orders. Soldiers and cops and other servants of the state unquestioningly follow orders, they are not good people, as morality plays no part in their decision making process. They are ordered, they obey, like a dog obeys. This is a truth that people don’t want to hear, and it is a truth that is born out by the facts on democide that I have included above.

We need to recognise real heroism. Real heroism is refusing orders when you know that they are morally wrong. America has real heroes. It has whistleblowers like Bradley Manning, but when was the last time that Bradley Manning was even referenced within the pages of a mainstream comic book? Do you know why he isn’t mentioned? He isn’t mentioned because he was a US soldier who told the truth, he saw that what was happening was wrong, and he spoke up about it. That is true heroism, speaking truth even when it is not in your best interests to do so.

“When the persecution of an individual (Bradley Manning) who has exposed an evil is pursued so ruthlessly and yet the evil itself is studiedly ignored, all of us know that there is something very wrong with the way that our society is conducting itself. And if we do not protest in the strongest terms about what is being done in our name, then we become complicit.” (Alan Moore)

Humanity needs to wake up to truth, and it needs to look at itself in the mirror, however uncomfortable that might be. Comic books play their role. Governments need threats, just like comic book narratives need threats. In comic books an outside threat is used to push the narrative, to create tension, excitement, drama and action. Threats are used in our own world in order to justify wars, a restriction on freedoms and all kinds of totalitarian, Orwelian new world order government policies.

Where did you think ISIS came from?  Why are they running around in US vehicles and using US weapons? Why are they being promoted in the mainstream media, and given free publicity like they have the best PR people in the world? Threats legitimate state control, and that is why states will always manufacture new threats in order to justify their positions of authority, or domination over our lives.

As superheroes characters are often little more than stand-ins for government order followers, the parallel should be perfectly clear. Both entities (comics and governments) are dependent upon permanent new threats, and both entities are more than willing and able to create their own threats to push their individual narratives. What they have more in common though is the idea that these threats cannot be handled by normal people, that people in positions of authority need ‘special powers’ in order to deal with these threats. In comic books it’s superheroes who save you. In the real world, it’s a gang of murderers, liars and thieves called government.

Real change is not going to be easy. You are not going to be able to watch your television and vote for it. It’s time to demolish false heroes, and to recognise uncomfortable truth. Superheroes will continue to work as stand-ins for government control, and the corpses will continue to pile up, just as before, as long as we ignore truth, ignore reality and pretend that comic books are just a bit of fun that we don’t really have to think too much about. Threats can be real, but who is creating the threat, and why have they created it in the first place? That’s a good place to start, and a good place to end as well, and that’s where I will finish off this review.


Rating: 8/10 (Fine book, but it’s just another threat narrative that portrays humans as helpless victims, in need of rescue by government sponsored heroes)

Comic review: The Fiction #1- Not much fun, and now I feel bad because I didn’t like it

Writer: Curt Pires
Artist: David Rubin
Publisher: Boom! Studios
Released: 17th June 2015


It’s not very enjoyable to write a review on something that has little impact, that is neither hot nor cold, just middling, lukewarm and indifferent.

I like to rave, and I like to moan. I like to get passionate, and to get passionately wrong about something is always a learning experience that I’ll gladly accept, sod the ego, let it get bruised, I need to banish it to gain inner spiritual fulfilment (or something) anyway.

Oh, a book that does nothing, it’s so depressing. I can barely talk about it. I’m writing a review and it feels like work. I don’t want to go to work. I want to write with freedom and passion, and say silly things. So please forgive me, because what’s coming next is a half-hearted effort, a review of a book that did absolutely nothing for me.

‘The Fiction #1’ reads like a child’s fantasy book, like that Narnia movie with the wardrobe and lion in it. The characters are childhood friends, they experience something when they are ten, one of them goes missing, now they are all grown up, and about to jump back into that childhood fantasy world once again to discover what happened to their friend.

There was a hint at the beginning of the book that the disappearance is connected to ‘conspiracy theories’ and that should have hooked me, seeing as I’m supposed to be the ‘conspiracy’ guy, but the hooks never attached, and it wasn’t enough to make me care.

So what was the problem then?

I don’t know. The characters felt a bit plain, a bit dull, nothing resonated and it felt a bit too childish for me, not serious enough, a bit too cartoon and silly, and the artwork played into that feeling as well. It was too colourful, there was no realism to it, no sense of threat or danger, or most importantly, excitement.

I’m, sorry. I hate to say mean things about new indie books, but I didn’t enjoy it, and I won’t be buying issue #2. I wish them the best, but there’s not enough here to keep me interested, and now I’m fed up, and I don’t feel good about writing this review. I shouldn’t have bothered. I feel like a bad guy because I didn’t enjoy the book. Lots of effort, and struggle and time, and passion and hopes and dreams, and here I am dismissing it like it is nothing. Ah man, sometimes reviewing comic books really sucks.


Rating: 4/10 (Dull)

Comic review: Doctor Fate #1: PC Muslim Hero Abandons Faith to Join Egyptian Cat Cult

Writer: Paul Levitz
Artist: Sonny Liew
Publisher: DC Comics
Released: 17th June 2015




Here’s an interesting book, that within its pages includes a valuable lesson about the portrayal of Islam in contemporary neoliberal western comic book narratives.

The book stars a Muslim hero, with a white Mother, a hot girlfriend, and a promising future career as a Doctor. Wait, it gets even better. If all of that wasn’t enough for you, the narrative then has him saving a baby from underneath the wheels of a subway train, sacrificing his life for a complete and utter stranger.

What a guy hey? See multiculturalism is great, no problems to be had at all. Muslims love to integrate and contribute to society, they even save babies from underneath subway trains. I say let them all in, and take over the country, take over the world actually, what could possibly go wrong?

White racists need to die anyway. Let’s bring in the dawn of this brave new era of ‘moderate’ Islam, with tolerance and diversity for all.

Certain kinds of people are going to love this review. They are going to read it, and positively explode with righteous indignation and rage. So I say, come on, bring it on. Come on then. Accuse me of being an evil intolerant Islamaphobic racist. I know you want to, go on, accuse me until the cows come home, it will be fun.

Jump up on that moral high horse of progressive liberalism and tell me that 99% of Muslims are moderate and tolerant. Pretend that ISIS doesn’t exist. Pretend that Saudi Arabia doesn’t exist. Pretend that Syria doesn’t exist. Pretend that Libya doesn’t exist. Pretend that Boko Haram doesn’t exist. Pretend that Sharia law doesn’t exist. Pretend that the Rochdale sex trafficking gang didn’t exist. Pretend that the Beslan school massacre didn’t happen. Pretend that the Charlie Hebdo massacre didn’t happen. Pretend that all of the other massacres and beheadings and atrocities worldwide didn’t happen as well.

Blame US foreign policy. Hell, even blame George Bush if you like. Pretend that the UK Muslim community doesn’t shut itself away in their own little communities with their own laws. Pretend that Muslims just want to integrate into society like some kind of neo-liberal mythical paradise. Pretend that reality itself is an abstract construct and those moral high horses and neoliberal utopias are the ‘tolerant’ way of looking at reality.

It doesn’t matter what evidence you see or hear, it doesn’t matter, because you will always be right. Even in the middle of a massacre when you yourself are being chopped up because you are not the right kind of wahabbi Muslim. They are not extreme, it’s intolerant to say that, they are just expressing their dissatisfaction with US foreign policy as they chop you and your kids into little pieces whilst screaming for their god like a nightmarish cult of devil worshippers. No, you will always be right, because you are a liberal, a dead, chopped up liberal, but always right, and always tolerant and always passive and pathetic and indoctrinated and self-hating and feeble and weak, and useless until the very end.

Here’s a question. Have you ever read a comic book where Muslims were portrayed as the villains? I have. It happened ONCE, in a book called ‘Holy Terror,’ by Frank Miller. The following quotation pretty much sums up how it was received by the mainstream press:

"Frank Miller doesn't do things halfway. One of the true comic-book greats, he’s created several of the most extraordinary stories ever to grace the art form. So perhaps it's fitting that now he's produced one of the most appalling, offensive and vindictive comics of all time ... Miller's Holy Terror is a screed against Islam, completely uninterested in any nuance or empathy toward 1.2 billion people he conflates with a few murderous conspiracy theorists." (Spencer Ackerman of Wired Magazine)

You don’t criticise Islam in comic books, even in a very small way, and if you do, then prepare for a whole heap of trouble coming your way. No, if you write Muslim characters in a 2015 era comic book then they must ALWAYS be positive, heroic, tolerant, liberal drips, just like the writers themselves actually.

Doctor Fate #1 then is a specimen of it’s time, an example of how you write Muslim characters in contemporary comic books. For that reason alone the book is worthy of study. I don’t expect contemporary comic books to demonise the Muslim community, because that would be horrible, and completely unfair to the vast majority of peaceful Muslims around the world. So what do I want? What is the point that I’m making here?

My point is that comic books have to stop being so bloody cowardly. I know that the writers watch the news. I know that they see the same things that I do. I know that they have opinions on it, so why am I not seeing a DIVERSE range of opinions in my comic books when it comes to the portrayal of Muslim characters? They can’t always be heroes can they?

What is being created here is a parallel universe, with mainstream comic book creators going out of their way not to offend. This snake-bellied cowardice is creating a mythical almost idolatrous image of Muslim people that is completely at odds with what is happening in the real world and DAILY on our television sets. What I am complaining about here is a LACK of diversity when it comes to the portrayal of Muslims in mainstream comic books, as described by the dictionary definition of the word.

Diversity
/daɪˈvɜːsɪtɪ/
noun 
1.
the state or quality of being different or varied
2.
a point of difference
3.
(logic) the relation that holds between two entities when and only when they are not identical; the property of being numerically distinct

All I am calling for here is for diversity, a point of difference, and when it comes to the portrayal of Muslims in comic books in 2015 I am not seeing this at all. What I am seeing is a very PC image, an image of the tolerant Muslim, of the not very religious Muslim, the neo-liberal fantasy Muslim. It’s a fantasy as real as the moderate rebels in Syria and the integrated Muslim television characters I see in Eastenders, that fantasy neoliberal London paradise of integrated communities that bears zero resemblance to the real London of today.

So what about this actual comic book? This is supposed to be a review, right? Yeah it is, so here we go.

The art is messy, the tone is soft and fluffy, and the story is about Ancient Egyptian Gods preparing a new flood to wipe out humanity. The Muslim protagonist takes to the Egyptian religion very easily, a cat speaks to him, tells him to put on a silly hat, and after some initial fears that have nothing whatsoever to do with his own faith, on it goes. This means that the protagonist is about as serious and dedicated to his religion as neo-liberals are to their own. He doesn’t even identify himself as a Muslim. Instead he very noticeable describes himself as ‘an American.’ Ah, it’s the liberal dream of diversity, alive and well within the pages of comic books at least.

In reality, this guy is a terrible Muslim. He completely disregards his own faith and jumps on board a new religion like it’s no big deal at all. He is a Muslim, but his faith plays no part in this comic book narrative whatsoever. His Muslim identity then is exposed as hollow, and meaningless. It’s a token gesture, a bone of political correctness thrown out so DC can stamp a label of ‘diversity’ onto one of it’s comic books.

This book is not going to impress any strong believer of the Islamic religion, as the religious aspect is mere background, and when faced with miraculous, amazing things that are happening around him, the protagonist doesn’t even refer to his faith one single time. So if it’s not trying to impress actual Muslims, who is the book trying to impress, and what is it trying to do?

You already know my answer to that question, right? The book is simply ticking PC boxes, and going out of its way to not offend anybody. The ironic thing about this situation is that offending Muslims is an extremely easy thing to do, and as hard as you try not to offend, the more likely it is that you will end up offending somebody. I’ll explain.

The very fact that the writer has put the old Egyptian religion into the lap of a young Muslim is probably something that he didn’t even think about. It’s just a story, something cool to do, right? What he has actually done, if he thought about it for a bit, is to make a young Muslim a Kuffar (an unbeliever) by willingly accepting the authority of another religion that is not Islam. As soon as he buys into the powers of the magic helmet, he has in essence rejected his own Muslim faith.

‘He that chooses a religion over Islam, it will not be accepted from him and in the world to come he will be one of the lost.’
Quran 3:85, "The Imrans,"

So by going out of his way not to offend liberal sensibilities, what writer Paul Levitz has actually done here is to create a narrative that demeans Islam and would likely cause huge offence to many Muslims all around the world.

What a twit.

That’s how it goes when you pussy foot around a topic that needs to be tackled with true courage and integrity. The more you try not to offend, the more you do offend, and that’s the problem with Islam, the problem that mainstream comic books do not want to discuss.

Writer Paul Levitz probably really is a very decent and tolerant person, but that counts for nothing, and by trying to write another PC Muslim hero he’s just gone and dug his own pit of trouble. I feel sorry for the guy, really. His intentions were good, they always are with liberal types, but this whole fake ‘diversity’ thing is a difficult construct to escape from, especially with people shouting ‘racist’ at you whenever you even question it.

I didn’t hate the book. I see it as misguided, and it teaches a valuable lesson about the portrayal of Islamic heroes in contemporary comic books, so it’s worthy of a purchase. American popular culture is at a bit of a crossroads at the moment, it’s lost, confused, and trying to find it’s way through these dark times of neo-liberalism where truth is dying at the alter of political correctness. This time period in world history will make for a fascinating area of study at some future date, but at the moment it’s not easy. I can write my reviews and say whatever I like, but the poor comic book writers are trying to make a living, they are trying to be PC, trying to be good people, but ultimately they are just ending up getting lost in a maze littered with corporate ‘diversity’ landmines.


Rating: 4/10 (PC Muslim hero ends up quickly abandoning his faith at the first opportunity, oops)