Miss Morality, in ‘The Tunnels of Intolerance’- Part Three

Written by: Mark. A. Pritchard
Released on: The Rorshach Rant- 13th March 2015


Screaming and crying from the back of a Police van, a dishevelled, distressed and disturbingly inebriated Miss Morality railed against the injustice, the misogyny and institutional sexism of the Police force.

‘Ya f*****g b******s, I’m gonna f*****g sue every single last one of you c**** *** **** ****, if it’s the last thing you do, you rapist m***********s.’

It was a sad sight indeed as our brave feminist warrior was carted off to the nearest cell to sober up, calm down, and sleep off the half a bottle of vodka and six beers that had reduced her to this sorry state of inebriation.

As she was taken away the watching criminal mastermind known as ‘The Dissenter,’ enthusiastically detailed the next stage of his plans.

‘Good job mate. Keep her locked up for a good ten hours and that should be enough for us to sort her out for good. Her days of social justice campaigning are over forever, ha ha ha ha ha.’

‘Ha ha ha ha ha,good one boss,' replied the pig like arresting officer as he struggled to regain his composure. ‘Ding, dong, the witch is dead, ha ha ha ha ha.’

The hateful patriarchal laughter of the two women hating villains rang sinisterly throughout the early evening traffic. They enthusiastically shook hands, winked the secret wink of patriarchy to each other, and left to complete the remainder of their evil plans. The arresting officer going back to the Police station to make sure that poor Miss Morality spent the night in the cells, and the Dissenter off to cause more mischief and put the next stage of his evil plan into operation.

When social services arrived at the now deserted home of Miss Morality they were alarmed (but not surprised) to hear the distressed cries of a hungry baby girl. Her mother was in jail, but where was her uncle?

Where was the blameless and pure Rufus? Surely he wouldn’t abandon his sister's baby at this most inopportune time? No, of course not, but that’s exactly what it looked like to the social workers. This was not good news for our brave social justice warrior at all.

After a quick call to the police, and a battering ram to the door, baby Sojourner was whisked away, and sent straight into the loving arms of the expert child-care specialists working for the BBC Jimmy Saville care-home for abandoned and vulnerable young girls.

‘Stage two of the operation is complete boss,’ said a hateful manly figure in black as baby Sojourner was delivered to the home. ‘We know what to do from this point on, same routine right?’

‘Oh yes, my conspiratorial colleague,’ replied the Dissenter.

‘Same routine as before, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.’

It was 11am the next morning when a sick as a female parrot Miss Morality woke in her Police cell. Suffering from a stinging headache and no memory of the night-before she banged angrily upon the cell door demanded to know what was happening.

‘Help, help where am I? What is happening here? I demand to see a female solicitor. I'm being held against my will. My female rights are being violated.  Help, help, help, help.’

Her cries for help were answered by a familiar whistling coming from the bottom of the corridor. The whistling got slowly louder, and louder as it’s source walked calmly, slowly, sinisterly towards the trapped feminist social justice warrior.

A trembling, terrified and deeply distressed Miss Morality recognised the whistling immediately. She knew it well. It was a whistle she had learned to fear as a small, innocent frightened and abused little girl.

‘Hello love,’ said a smiling, hairy, ugly brute of a man as he glared menacingly at Miss Morality through the tiny little window of her prison cell.

‘What do you think of my uniform? I look rather masculine in blue, don’t you think?’

‘Oh my mother goddess,’ replied an almost fainting Miss Morality.

‘No, no, no no, no. This can’t be real. This can’t be happening.’

 ‘Daddy, it’s you.’


END OF PART THREE



Miss Morality will return next week (Friday 20th March) in ‘The Tunnels of Intolerance’- Part 4. Is all hope gone for our brave social justice warrior? Where is Rufus? Is baby Sojourner going to be safe in the BBC Jimmy Saville care home? How is Miss Morality going to escape the masculine oppression of her own father? All will be revealed next week. DON’T MISS IT.


* If any artist would like to illustrate this story, then please let me know.