Blitz review: Reanimator #3- Old School Horror Comic fun-time

Writer: Keith Davidsen
Artist: Randy Valiente
Cover B artists: Andrew Mangum & Kyle Ritter
Publisher: Dynamite Entertainment
Released: 10th June 2010


I love this wonderfully deranged comic about a loony tune mad scientist, drug gangs, a cult of Cthulhu fanatics and a hot babe who has found herself mixed up in all of the craziness.

I shouldn’t like it so much, but I do, it’s my break from reality, and it’s the perfect counterbalance to my day to day research and writings about neo-liberalism and what can loosely be termed the ‘New World Order.’

My issue #3 had the B cover, the one at the top of this review, and I knew that it was fun time again before I'd even read the book. That cover is so deliciously corny, look at that tight T-shirt slowly lifting, tightening at the bosoms, and revealing some belly. It’s old-fashioned ridiculous sexist, objectifying the female form, and I have to say that I’m a huge fan of it.

Inside the actual book is a narrative that should be convoluted, but really isn’t, due to the precise way that it’s structured as an instantly readable reader-friendly fun comic book. Not all comic books are like this. Some just tell their tale, and if the reader gets lost half way, then tough luck.

Writer Keith Davidsen is a bit friendlier than that. He takes his time, explains what is going on, asks if you have any questions, then moves on to the next part of the story. That accessibility makes the book a joy to read you can just sit back, sip your cuppa, and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

If you are a fan of old school horror comics, or anything to do with a certain H.P. Lovecraft, then ‘Reanimator’ is something that you’ll get a huge kick out of. It always makes me smile, it entertains me, it stops me from being so damn serious all of the time, it’s great silly stuff, and man, that cover just made my day.

Rating: 8/10 (Reader friendly horror comic fun) 

Comic Review: Reanimator #2- Busy, Silly & Fun

Writer: Keith Davidsen
Artist: Randy Valiente
Cover A: Francesco Francavilla
Cover B (Above): Andrew Mangum & Kyle Ritter

Publisher: Dynamite Comics

Released: 13th May 2015


Sometimes I need a break from all of the thinking, the endless drumming beat of neoliberalism that fascinates, but tires me out so much. I can’t spend all of my day obsessing over that stuff, it would drive me insane, and I’d be a gibbering wreck by the end of the week.

So, please forgive me here. I need to review a book about zombie girls in bikini’s and reanimated corpses, and Lovecraftian cults and swamp fighting and a mad scientist. A book that is set in a nowhere time, and isn’t really saying anything other than put your brain on sleep mode, forget your worries and let us take you on a daftly horrorific funfair ride.

Reanimator #2 is about a bored girl. She’s still grieving for her recently deceased boyfriend, and has an insatiable need for some adrenaline, for some excitement in her life, just to make here feel...something.

So, how to break that interminable boredom, the awful, belly aching pang of ennui that leaves you feeling empty and devoid of all hope?

How about a hoverboat ride through the everglades with a mad scientist doing mad scientist stuff, followed by a tussle with a zombie girl, a bracing swim in the alligator infested swamp, a meet and greet with a slightly silly cult leader, and a surprise twist to the end of the day that you’ll never, ever forget?

That all sounds pretty exciting to me, and although she might end up feeling a tad traumatised by the whole experience at least she can’t complain about feeling bored anymore.

The book has slightly wonky art, it’s a bit messy, but the story is a grand silly adventure and things are always happening, so you are never bored and the fast pace ensures that you are always looking forward to seeing what is going to happen next.

There’s a huge revelation at the end of this issue, so hopefully it hasn’t peaked too soon, but as a short boredom busting rest-stop between my more serious hard hitting political type books then Reanimator #2 was the perfect pit-stop.

The book gave me a fun ten minutes break, and now I’m back, re-energised and ready to get straight back into all of the serious, yet daunting, new world order, neoliberalism, statism, slavery, barking mad monkey at midnight banana curry insanity political nonsense. Thanks for the break lads. I needed it.


Rating: 7/10 (Busy, silly and fun)

Comic Review: ‘68 Bad Sign (One Shot)- This is like totally the coolest, sickest serial killer book ever man

Art: Richard Bonk
Publisher: Image Comics
Writer: Mark Kidwell
Released: 15th April 2015


Serial killers are like really cool, and they have mommy issues, and they are all sick and twisted like, and like that Zodiac killer dude probably threw sexy girls into his cellar whilst wearing like a cool Halloween mask, yeah man, and it’s so cooool, and he like probably had to wear a dress coz of his mom, and like I bet he lived in a house like with foetuses in a jar and like we can do a comic about him and we can put zombies in it man, yeah man, it can be like a zombie apocalypse or something, and like the Zodiac can send the police letters that say they’ll never catch him and that he’s God, and he can like be a sick artist like the joker or something and do a crucifix thing with corpses man, that would be like totally sick man, yeah, so sick man.

Yeah man, and the cop can like have a big moustache and like have sex with girls all of the time coz zombies are everywhere and like the girls don’t care anymore, they just want to have sex with like the heroes with a moustache, yeah man and like the hero moustache cop dude has to stop the Zodiac, and like I hope they totally catch the weirdo coz he’s like tortures sexy girls and stuff, and like then they can chase him and it will be really cool, and like he can be all crazy and like get shot and fall out of a window or something like and then the moustache cop man can say something really cool and like then go and drink whisky and have sex with a hot Police chick or something, like yeah man, cool.

Oh, oh, oh, and don’t forget about the zombies in it as well man, they can like get the Zodiac at the end man, yeah man, like he can be eaten by the zombies like, and that shows that he gets what he deserves or something like, yeah, cool man, cool, this is going to be the best comic book like EVER.


Rating: 1000000/10 (This is like the sickest, coolest comic book that I’ve ever read, and I strongly advise everybody reading this review to buy at least 1000 copies of it immediately)

Comic review: Eerie #6- Old destroys new

Writers and artists: Numerous
Editor: Cousin Eerie
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Released: 17th December 2014



I was lazily reading this book over the new year period, not expecting to review it (as it’s a couple of weeks old now), when it slowly dawned on me that the final tale in the trilogy was in a completely different league to the previous two tales.

That story was titled ‘The Night the Snow Spilled Blood,’ and was written by Don McGregor, and illustrated by Tom Sutton.

The writing was more detailed, there was a lushness, a richness of emotional depth, and a feeling that the writer knew what he was doing, had something to say, and was going to slowly, and calmly take his time to say it properly. As the story concludes the narrative threads that are introduced at the beginning of the tale come nicely together, giving the reader the satisfaction that a circle has been completed. The story made sense, had meaning, and fitted together as a fully formed coherent whole. In other words, it was a good old-fashioned horror story, cleverly constructed, and very well written.

My first thought was that the story couldn’t have been written today. Simply put, it was too good, too clever, too carefully constructed, and too intelligently written. I wanted to be wrong. I don’t want to be one of those old comic book fans that drone on and on about the good old days, but you know what? I wasn’t wrong. I was right. The story wasn’t written today. It was written sometime in the early 1970’s, and this was a reprint for people like myself who missed out on the story the first time. That’s pretty bloody depressing for me, because I want to feel good about comic book writers of today. I want them to be good. I want them to say something. I want them to connect with me. I don’t want to live in the past. I want to live today, but what can you do when the writers are playing it safe in corporate career mode, have nothing to say and less of a clue on how to say it?

The other two stories in Eerie #6 aren’t terrible. I don’t hate them. They don’t offend me, but they do something worse than that, they wash over me. They are blah, very whatever, read, discard, no impression is made. In that sense they are much like a lot of other contemporary comics. They exist, they are okay, but they aren’t really doing anything, and they certainly aren’t saying anything.

The first of these stories is ‘The Ash Tree’ by Kelley Jones. This is a project where the art is the goal, and the story the background. That art kind of looks old fashioned and cool, not spectacular, but it could fit in an old comic without standing out too much I guess. Why you would want to produce something that looks a bit like an old comic, but is unlikely to be commented on is a bit of a mystery to me though. The story itself is an old witch gets revenge tale, taken from an over-exposed horror writer’s tales from over a century ago. Read, forget, and next story. I’m not offended, but little impression has been made.

The second story in Eerie #6 (‘Run, run, as fast as you can,’ by Landry Q. Walker and art by Dev Madan) is another revenge tale, this time using the very tired trope of an abused wife creating some creature to punish her abusive husband. Nothing is said, the husband is tortured, it’s very cute and all of a sudden, it ends. It’s very predictable, not particularly clever, and as the core of the narrative is empty of meaning you are left feeling particularly unsatisfied as it all concludes. The art had some nice panels, but a nauseating tone of cuteness permeated everything about it, contaminating my enjoyment, making me feel like I was watching one of those torture porn modern movies that get pushed out today.

And so, to that last tale, the old one, the one that stood out like a gold nugget in a pile of horse manure. The descriptive panels are longer, there’s more writing, and it’s quality writing as well. You feel like you really get into the head of the protagonists, they are real people, they have emotional lives that you can identify with, and you care about what happens to them. The art is secondary, but it’s good, not overly stylised, and not trying to make up for a mediocre story by putting on a razzle and dazzle distraction show. That story is gripping, and you don’t get the full facts until the final panel of text. You are left with that lean back in your chair, moment of realisation. That moment that you always get in a superior horror short, a moment that leaves you feeling satisfied, a moment that makes the entire reading experience so enjoyable, and has you happy to come back again, and again and again for another hit.

I challenge any comic book reader to purchase a copy of Eerie #6 and argue with me that the last of the three stories is not a far, far superior piece of work in comparison to its two companions. Old isn’t always better than new, but sometimes it seems like the horror comic writers of the past really are head and shoulders above the writers of today, and you really notice it when you read anthologies like Eerie #6 that combines quality old with the painfully mediocre new.

Eerie #6 offers an amazing front cover by Jim Pavelec and Chris Seaman, a glorious horror tale from the early 1970’s and two average tales from today. It’s a must buy book, but as a commentary on the sub-standard horror comic landscape of 2014/15 it’s saying a lot more than dear old Cousin Eerie probably realises.

Rating: 8/10 (for the cover art, and the 70’s horror comic re-print)

Comic review: Dark Gods #1- Facebook must be destroyed

Writer: Justin Jordan
Artist: German Erramouspe
Publisher: Avatar Comics
Released: 29th October 2014



This was a strange book. It was almost dead over target, but something went wrong with the guidance systems and its payload ended up being harmlessly scattered over barren wasteland.

I’ll explain.

The narrative begins with a typically white-bread protagonist (think Matt Damon or Mark Wahlberg) telling us that he works for an evil corporation that is carrying out behavioural experiments on it’s users. So far, so good. This is exactly what Facebook was caught doing recently. However, his solution to the problem is to feed this information to the government. What? The government that has been spying on everybody through the NSA? The government that allows huge tax breaks to corporations then uses backdoors in their software to data-mine all of the information the corporations are gathering, including spying on all of our emails? Yes, that government. Why is this guy trusting them? Why would anybody go to the government? My answer? They don’t. They go to alternative media sources like Infowars and Wikileaks. If they went to the government they would be hushed up, arrested, or worse.

Our heroes, Pharaohs and scientists.

Do you see what I mean by ‘strange’ book?

The book then gets even weirder when evil creatures explain to our generic hero that they are feeding on humanity. Who is this guy? Why should we care about him? Do I even care if the monsters eat him? Not really, he’s leaking information to government, so he’s not exactly somebody to root for.

We then get the back-story of the entire human race. There is no God, and humans were created out of nothing. So far, so mainstream. Humans needed gods, so the demons came in, pretending to be those gods. They gave us technology, but this knowledge gave these ‘Dark Gods’ more power over us. Opposing the Gods are men who do things for themselves. These men are pharaohs, scientists and Braveheart apparently. What the Hell? Why isn’t government being mentioned here? What is the one core building block of human slavery that has doomed our entire race since the dawn of time? It’s Pharaohs, Kings, leaders and government. If any demon wanted to gain control over humanity all he would have to do is gain control over the leaders and structures of a society.  When in control of the leaders the demon would control religion, science, history, medicine, education, politics and entertainment, all of the building blocks, and control systems of society. It would be a pretty crappy demon if it limited itself to just one sector of society like a social media website wouldn’t it?

Gods are demons pretending to be Gods. No mention of Islam yet.

Any half-decent control freak demon would want centralised power. The demon would concentrate on government. The biggest and most powerful government in the world today is the US government. The demon would concentrate all of it’s energies on gaining control of this government and would then push for a one-world government so it has centralised control over the entire planet.

It would attempt to establish a New World Order.

That makes sense, right?

The underlying problem with this book is that it wants to tell us a story about evil gods who have been with us since the days of Adam and Eve, but it doesn’t want to link them to government. What sort of useless, feckless villains are they? They want to control and suck off the life force of humanity, but they have no interest in the control systems of humanity? They have no interest in money and power, but they are all over facebook?

That makes no sense whatsoever.

The book ends with a strong independent feminist rescuing our protagonist from the villains, thus emasculating the man, as is traditional in mainstream comic books today, and kind of ending the story in one panel. I have nothing to look forward to now, no reason for picking up issue #2. There is no mystery here, everything has been revealed. The protagonist is a wuss and it looks like the government is going to be the good guys.

Man inventing gods, and evolutionary theory of course

How can a comic book get so close, yet utterly miss the target?

It’s bizarre.

I’ll conclude this review with some speculation, and posit another reason why it all went so wrong. There was a lack of a moral guidance in the story. There was no God, just nothing, and out of the nothing came evil. There was no creator, no deep spiritual moral understanding that we are eternal spiritual beings inhabiting flesh bodies for a short period of time to learn and expand in consciousness.

In place of deep spiritual moral truths there was Braveheart and his modern equivalent, a shotgun wielding feminist with a short haircut and revealing cleavage. I know it’s popular to believe in a godless world these days, at least in the neo-liberal west, but the lack of spiritual awareness leaves a gaping hole in the human psyche, leaving us open to attack by Dark Gods and stupidly relying on government to save us. It’s not progressive, or liberal, or smart, it's just stupid and leaves us easy prey for our real-world government slave masters.

This book gets closer than most, but a lack of understanding about deeper moral truths, human slavery and the eternal nature of the human soul means it’s just another monster book with the usual cast of feminist liberal drippy statist characters.

Rating: 3/10 (For acknowledging that Facebook is a data mining/surveillance control system.

Insane Tales from the Dead Issue 2, Volume 1: Halloween frights

Writers/ Artists: Doug Randazzo and numerous

Released: Halloween 2014

Website to order a copy: 
http://www.insanetalesfromthedead.com/



A good horror short, in the style of a television episode of Tales from the Crypt or EC horror comic has to have a satisfying ending where a twist in the narrative leads to a morally dubious character getting the instant karma that s/he deserves. Horror therefore isn’t really about the horror; it’s about the good story. If you don’t have a good story, if you don’t have strong characters, and if you don’t have a strong ending, then you don’t have a good horror narrative. What you have instead is grimness, and a celebration of being gross for the sake of being gross. It can be very childish and teenage boy as well. Oh look, it’s somebody sawing a guy’s leg off.

KEWL MAN!

Do you know what I mean? What made the movie Seven a good movie? The horror, or the twist at the end? It was the twist, wasn’t it? It elevated what would otherwise have been just an unpleasant movie about a disgusting individual into something that made you feel satisfied, and totally grossed out of course, when you left the cinema. It made you feel like you got your money’s worth. That’s what a good movie is supposed to do, horror or otherwise.

Thus, when I read ‘Horror’ genre comics I’m looking for a good story first, and the horror, and art, are secondary concerns. ‘Insane Tales from the Dead Issue 2, Volume 1’ has points of interest, but does it contain a fully formed, satisfying horror story? No, it doesn’t have one of those.

What it does have is a funny story about aliens making everybody on planet Earth need to go to the bathroom at the same time. The story concludes with a ridiculous panel where the entire planet is subjected to its second world-wide flood, but this time Yahweh/Allah/El/Jehovah/Whatever is not involved.  That was a funny story. There was no moral lesson, no characters/ protagonists, but it was funny, and probably the best thing about the book.

A werewolf tale didn’t work because the protagonist was unfairly punished whilst his unpleasant, horror hating girlfriend was spared. It should have been the other way round. That would have been satisfying to the reader, but instead, the opposite happened.

A tale about alien musicians was more or less an advert for a bands myspace (does that still exist?) page.

‘Torture’ was unpleasant, and it went nowhere.

A story about a squirrel being tamed and then killed by a watchful crow was equally unpleasant, but it had a better structure to it.

Some pages of random horror artwork followed. A guy called Mortuss Art showed some talent, but the rest of it was a bit ‘high-school teenage boy doodling in the back of his textbook’ in its quality.

It sounds like I didn’t much enjoy this book, but I don’t want to conclude this review by giving the impression that I hated it, because I didn’t.

I would much rather read independently produced comic books, such as this one, than all of the mainstream superhero, statist junk that dominates the comic book industry today. I enjoyed the roughness and amateur nature of it all, and it wasn't trying to be something that it was not. It screamed independence and ambition, two HUGE plusses in my book.

I want people to keep on producing independent comics, to do them over and over and over again until they’re so bloody good that some twit like me will be absolutely unable to say one single negative thing about them. I’ll leave this book thinking, and laughing about aliens making everybody poo themselves. I’ll tell you what. That’s a lot more than I’ll get out of reading the latest copy of Spiderman, Avengers, Wolverine, X-men, Captain America or Batman.

Rating: A couple of Pumpkins and a bag of sweeties

Comic review: The October Faction #1: Halloween greetings from the Worm

Writer: Steve Niles
Artist: Damien Worm
Publisher: IDW
Released: 8th October 2014


I love Halloween. Everything about it screams (literally) silliness, fun, excitement and adventure. The cold, wet, dark nights, the Pumpkin lights, the trick or treating, the scary movies, and the even scarier comics as well, of course.

Worm and Niles are the spooky twosome who bought us the wonderfully gothic Monster & Madman, and here they’ve teamed up, just in time for Halloween 2014, to give us another dose of gloom and doom, comic book style.

Truth be told, I was already adding this book to my pull-list before I even read it. All you have to do is look at the names on the cover, flick through the book for a couple of seconds and you’ll already be a fan. The story involves a spooky Adam’s family scenario, monster hunters and mysterious goings ons involving a wife who has slowly become less attached to her husband. Is she having an affair? Nah, that would be far too boring. So what is she doing? What do you think? It’s coffin related, and that’s all I’m giving away.


The art, by the fantastically named Damien Worm, is gloriously gothic and enveloped in shadows, bloody memories of the recent past, seances, tormented spirits and haunted house atmosphere. It’s the colouring that does it. You have to look closely, but don’t linger for too long. You might not like what you find lurking in the gloom encrusted shadows, and once seen the spirits of the dead have a horrible habit of burying themselves into the deepest, hidden recesses of your mind. The book could be written in Mongolian for all I care. The art alone makes it a must by book for all fans of gothic horror.

Are you a Goth? If so, you need this book badly. If you’re not a Goth, then get the book anyway. Trust me, you’ll love it. You’ll discover something new, something awesome, as the kids says these days, or not, probably. I don’t know what the bloody kids are saying these days. What do I know? I’m old.

I’ll tell you what I do know though. I know a good slice of Halloween fun when I see it. This book is exactly what I need in my life right now. My decorations are up, my Medusa head is telling me to look into her eyes, my haunted tree is mocking me, and my Ghoul in a coffin is periodically jumping out at me as I scurry past his place of rest in my living room. Did I mention that I love Halloween? And I also love, love, love this comic. Put down that Batman book, and get yourself something spookalicious, just in time for Halloween.

Rating: 9/10

Horror comic review: Grimm Tales of Terror #3: Knife wielding nut-job on campus

Writer: Meredith Finch
Artist: Milton Estevam
Publisher: Zenescope Entertainment
Released: 17th September 2014


I enjoyed this book, but it would be amiss of me not to mention that it had serious structural flaws, with an ending that happened before it should have done, and some characters that weren’t properly developed or given satisfying story-line payoffs.

There was the added problem that all of the pretty girl protagonists looked very similar, apart from hair colour, and as the story was relatively short it was difficult to get a handle on who they all were as individuals. One girl was a daddy’s girl, and some of the others were worried about their grades, but that’s all there was to differentiate them. The problem was that the book was too short, and there were too many people in it. In horror one shots there isn’t enough room to properly develop numerous characters. Writer Meredith Finch tried to put a horror movie script into twenty-two pages of a comic book, and there wasn’t enough room to properly accomplish that.

One of the undeveloped characters in this book was a perverted lecturer who gave pretty college girls good grades for sexual ‘favours.’ That’s quite standard fare in stories about pretty college girls, but the book wasn’t long enough to fully develop his character and story-arc, so when he met his inevitable demise it fell flat because he wasn’t a convincing flesh and blood person. You see him briefly at the beginning, and briefly at the end. He is a teacher, and a pervert. That is all. That is not a human being. That is two-dimensional cardboard cutout.

The big moment in horror stories such as this one is the scene where the identity of the murderer is finally revealed. You expect a twist, but if it's done well it’s still a dramatic moment. You get that scene in this book, but it happens too early, leaving three unnecessary pages that were only included so that the Horror host could be fitted into the story at the end. It didn’t work.

The host should have been involved in the reveal, and she wasn’t. Her signature moment of whistling whilst the bad guys get their just deserts didn’t work out this time as she didn’t appear to care about a psychopathic knife murdering maniac at all. Instead she was more concerned with a lecherous teacher and making sure that he got what he deserved. That was a bit jarring to me. On a rising scale of moral wrongs surely hacking young girls to death with a knife ranks a few notches above being a perverted teacher? Yes, I know that being a dirty old git who exploits his pupils is pretty bloody disgusting and morally vacuous, but stabbing college girls to death with a big knife and leaving silly horror movie messages on the wall in their own blood must be a more serious crime, right?

I also had a problem with the character of the janitor in this book. Again, as you might expect, he was portrayed as a big old weird pervert, because obviously every single man that comes into contact with young females must be some perverted lech, right? Actually, come to think of it, the younger men in this book were portrayed as perverts as well, so it’s not exactly a man friendly book come to think of it. Anyway, the janitor character kept popping up, looking and acting like a big fat sweaty pervert (how was he not sacked on the first day of his job?), but we didn’t get any payoff to his story. Any half clued in reader would never take him seriously as being a real candidate for the murderer because he was too obvious, and as the book ended he was still mopping up, still looking like a pervert, and that was it. He was just there as a very obvious and very unsatisfying red herring. That’s frustrating to the reader, and I got the impression that the original script for this story had been massively edited, and because it was a one-shot story there wasn’t enough time and space in a comic book form to make it properly work.

This book was a three or four-issue script that had been crammed into a one shot comic. The panels were very large, featuring double-paged spreads of gruesome murder scenes etc, and it left them with nowhere near enough room to tell the story, as it should have been told.

The book was working against itself, but that didn’t stop it from being fun. The curvy girls were drawn very voluptuously, the pervert men were drawn very seedily and the reveal of the murderer, although a bit obvious to horror comic buffs, was a good moment anyway. It was a small surprise to me, and when it came I did smile. It came too early on in the script, but it was good.

I really appreciate Zenescope putting out these old style horror books. These are the kind of books that I grew up with, so they give me a strong sense of nostalgia that I really enjoy. It’s not just nostalgia though. I miss the old horror books. Why not bring them back? They used to be really good, and they can still be good today. Human nature does not change, and the thrill of reading a well-structured creepy, weird story with a delicious twist at the end will always be an enjoyable experience.

Plus, superheroes can get very lame, very quickly, especially when Marvel and DC are so bloody statist and corporate that all of the heroes are either government agents, stuck in dimension X or battling Nazi’s and cold war era Russians. Contemporary superhero comic books STILL cannot get to grips with a post 9/11 world and all of the NSA Police state bullshit that is turning western countries into bloody banker ran autocracies these days. Just imagine all of the great stories that a switched on horror writer could be telling today with all that has happened in the past decade. The world has become a horror story, so why not reflect that fact in the comics?

Grimm Tales of Terror #3 had structural problems, but I enjoyed it. It felt rushed and incomplete, and I would love it if they updated the genre somewhat. The events that unfold in this book have no relation to this day and age. They could have happened in 1960, 1984, 1994 or 2014. Things need to get updated. Things need to change, and that’s why I’m doing my very small bit by writing this blog. I want Zenescope to keep on putting out these horror books. I want them to get better. I want them to update the stories for a post 9/11 generation, and I want them to start connecting with the awakened, post mainstream media generation of these times. I know it’s asking a lot, too much perhaps, but it’s not going to stop me from asking. I love old style horror comics. Get the structure sorted out. Let the stories run for a few issues if you cannot tell them in one-shots, and throw in the odd reference to the surveillance state, poisons in our foods, illegal wars and corporate bankster owned political elite’s. Oh, and if you can cut out the anti man stuff, that would be nice as well, thanks.

Rating: 5.5/10

Comic book review: Grimm Tales of Terror #2- The greed of man meets eight legged judgement

Writers: Shane McKenzie
Artist: Przemyslaw Klosin
Publisher: Zenescope Entertainment Inc
Released: 3rd September 2014

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tales_from_the_Crypt_(TV_series)


If you enjoy reading old horror comics then this is a book that you’ll want to pick up. It’s very old fashioned, with the script reading like an old episode of ‘Tales from the Crypt’ with the bookend technique of a ghoulish narrator laughing at us stupid, vain and greedy human beings. Only this time we don’t get the Crypt Keeper telling the tale, in his place we get a busty postwoman who delivers death with a whistle.

I found this technique to be a little confusing in comic book form, as she didn’t have anything to do with the main story apart from igniting it. Plus the end panels of her watching over the death of a cruel rich guy had absolutely nothing to do with the main tale. It was a little bit confusing and not as satisfying as it could have been.

The main tale involves greedy treasure hunters and a giant spider. It’s not original, and it’s been done a lot better many times before. There were some problems with the three main personalities involved in the tale as well. They were more complicated than they needed to be, and because of the short nature of this tale there wasn’t enough time to fully develop the characters. There were hints that went nowhere, and when the characters met their inevitable demise the impact was somewhat lessened because I couldn’t get a secure grasp on who they actually were.

These tales should be simple. You need good guys, bad guys and a twist. This book had bad guys, more bad guys and no twist. I shouldn’t have enjoyed this book, because it had huge flaws, but there was something about it that I really did enjoy.

I liked the tone of the writing, the humour in the dialogue, the silliness, the fast paced nature of it, the excitement of following the protagonists into a creepy cave and the old fashioned sense of adventure and horror that it was all wrapped up in.

The art did not detract from the tale and some large panels of arachnid based horror certainly had an impact. It’s not going to win any awards, but some of the dark shading and torch lit panels of the explorers looked suitably atmospheric, daunting and creepy, and the postwoman character looked very alluring in her slightly too tight uniform. In my far from unbiased and slightly seedy opinion, if an artist can draw a ridiculously bosomed female in very tight clothes then he must be doing something right.

Grimm Tales of Terror #2 has its flaws, but it’s a very enjoyable book. It has the feel of an old-fashioned horror comic with a strong moral message at its centre, and with a conclusion where greedy and unpleasant characters get exactly what they deserve. It’s a nice way to spend ten minutes of your time, and if you enjoy your old style horror comics then I’m sure you’ll get a lot of enjoyment out of the book.

Rating: 7/10 (simply, because it was fun)

Comic book review: The Superannuated Man #2- Working it’s magic on a subconscious level.

Writer: Ted McKeever
Artist: Ted McKeever
Publisher: Image comics
Released: 23rd July 2014


I’m not afraid to admit that the ending of this book left me feeling a little confused, and even after re-re-reading that ending a couple of times over I was still just as confused as before. However, something strange has happened to me whilst I’ve been putting this review together. Read on, and I’ll explain what I mean as I go along.

By looking at a small preview for next month’s book I can see that the confusing images of sperm that conclude this issue are going to lead into some kind of dissertation or perhaps even dissection of the theory of evolution. And as a man with an opinion or two on that subject matter, this certainly intrigues me enough to keep me onboard this excellent, if slightly, and perhaps only temporarily, confusing comic book.

The art, for those not yet familiar with Ted McKeever, is uniformly excellent, a bit grotesque and out there for sure, but you get the impression that the man takes great pride in his work, and it really shows in his inks. I love it, and I’m not usually the kind of guy that thinks something is ‘cool’ just because it looks kind of yucky. This is quality yucky. Yucky with style.

There were a couple of talking points that came to mind whilst I was reading this book. These are issues/concerns that resonate with myself on a personal and intellectual level, but that’s what you get here with my reviews.

The first of these issues was the way that meat was treated as meat. In this grotesque future world where animals are operating with the same level of consciousness as human beings they like to eat meat, just like a lot of us do, and some of that meat just so happens to be human meat. This makes a lot of sense to me, and this is coming from a vegan, a bloke who believes that we shouldn’t eat any meat at all.

If animals began acting as we do, why wouldn’t they eat human flesh? Why wouldn’t they have a butcher shop with a human carcass in the back- room? We eat animal flesh right now, and a lot of us think that this is normal behaviour. It’s morally wrong and we all know it deep down, but we hide it from ourselves, preferring to enjoy our pork chops and not even think about where they came from. If animals had evolved consciousness and became just like us, then surely eating human flesh would be quite natural for them, right? It’s wrong, but so is eating the flesh of animals, and that’s why I am a vegan.

The second issue this book got me to thinking about kind of ties into the first one really, in that it’s an issue about valuing conscious life. The Superannuated man is watching a movie, and this big blob floating head creature is ranting about mankind being a plague on Earth, and that procreation is evil. He’s an eugenicist basically, a talking head on the television set, telling us that human beings are bad. You know his type? Bill Gates, David Attenborough, all of those kindly old liberals who tell us that we should kill ourselves to save the planet. That’s how I see them, and that’s what I got from the floating head God creature in this book.

Perhaps I wasn’t as confused as I thought that I was. That’s why I do these reviews you know, to get the most out of these books, and if anybody bothers to read my thoughts, and I’m assuming that most of these reviews will never even be read, then that’s just a bonus. So I liked the book, it made me think about a few things, working on a subconscious level that has slowly been revealed as I’ve haphazardly put this review together. That’s quite clever really, isn’t it?
Rating: 8.5/10

Comic book review: The Goon-Occasion of Revenge #1- Smashing through the hive of conformity

Writer: Eric Powell
Artist: Eric Powell
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Released: 23rd July 2014


This book is worth purchasing just for the first quarter of insightful writing from Eric Powell. This is where he details the true nature of a sociopath, and how many a man has wasted his life obsessing over a pretty girl who couldn’t care less whether he lives or dies. Seriously, they should teach that lesson to every young boy at school. It sure would save a lot of pain down the road.

I’m not joking. They should teach young boys and girls that some people they will meet in their lives will never care, because they cannot care. These people are quite simply not programmed like the rest of humanity. They are sociopaths, and if they’re not busy tormenting and using people up on a personal level they’ll do it on a professional level instead. It’s not a particularly original or revelatory thing for me to say, but a sociopath is the ideal politician, as lies are easy, as long as they serve their own selfish pursuits, and if innocent people have to die, well then they couldn’t care less. This book is about a pretty female sociopath, but what about the older and uglier female sociopath? Two words-

Hillary Clinton.

If America votes for that sociopath then the country really is irreparably broken, but back to the review.

There’s more to the book than the largely understood revelation that pretty young girls can kill men as easily as snapping their fingers. There is the usual Goon wackiness to enjoy as well. This book features a turd in a pint glass, but there’s more.

The book has a sub-plot about a girl who wins the respect of the Goon, earning it rather than relying on her beauty. There are some intriguing villains and there’s also a meditation on staying still for too long as well. Plant roots and you die. I live in the suburbs, so I know what he’s saying here.

This book begins a four-issue arc, and that makes me feel very happy. I always get something out of Eric Powell, his art as well as his writing. Here’s a quick example. Near the end of this book the Goon goes up to a lady drinking alone at the bar. It is the same lady he rejected earlier in the book, rejecting her because she was using her looks to impress and torment men. In the meantime she interjected herself into a fight, helping the Goon in the process. That won his respect. Now he is buying her a drink, not because of her looks, but because she deserves one. That’s the story, but there is a panel that says so much more than that. One panel of the girl looking at the Goon with a genuine look, a look that reveals everything about her, everything she was hiding behind drunken bravado and the flaunting of her looks. One panel. It’s perfect.

There’s something about the writing of Eric Powell that marks him out from the rest of the crowd. There’s an independent spirit about it, a combination of humour, pathos, intelligence and resilience. You get a real sense of the man through his writing, and although I know nothing about the guy I like what I read. He seems untainted by the politically correct mind control systems that have polluted so many of the comic book writers that I read today.

Sometimes I read all of these superhero comics and it’s hard to tell who has written what. They all have the same voice, the same jokes, and the same socio-political agendas. It’s like reading comic books designed by the bloody feminist liberal borg. This is not the case with Eric Powell. You read his stuff and you know it’s him. I like that. I admire that. What you get from him is an independent spirit happily separated from the self-satisfied hive-mind of conformity that now plagues mainstream comic books. I love it. Long may it continue.
Rating: 9/10