Comic review: Batman- Arkham Knight #7- Are you taking the pi**?

Writer: Peter. J Tomasi
Art: Viktor Bogdanovic
Publisher: DC Comics
Released: 19th August 2015



Okay, let’s make this a quick one. Writer Peter J. Tomasi hasn’t put much thought or effort into writing the book, so why should I waste my time reviewing what is evidentially just a piece of throw-away, unit shifter irrelevance?

I prefer 'Skipman.'

Rhetorical that one, but onto the book. Batman Arkham Knight #7 consists of two stories, both are flimsy, and both have the impact of a soft sheet of tissue paper being ripped to shreds in a roaring thunderstorm tornado super-powered torrential downpouring storm.

The first story is about a saint. This saint is very poor, and he finds Batman in a skip. No joke, this is what actually happens. Anyway, this saintly man takes Bat/Skipman home, makes him soup and talks about his ex-wife. Whilst Skipman enjoys his soup a couple of lily-white bodybuilding thugs come to shake down the saintly man for rent or something. Skipman beats them up, and the story finishes up with Skipman and the saint watching the sunrise and having a nice cup of tea. Ha, how lovely it all is, reminiscing about the good old days with the one and only, dark night of the trash-bags, the slightly pongy Skipman himself.

What the donkey doharrr was that supposed to be Mr. Tomasi? Put some effort in mate, or don’t bother at all.

'Yo man, where's the toilet at?'

The second story has the epic and cutting edge paradigm shifting idea of having some villains trying to murder Bruce Wayne. Why do they want to murder Bruce Wayne? Because Penguin asked them to, and why not, it’s something to do, right? The highlight of this story is a villain taking a leak off the side of the building:

Harley Quinn- ‘What the **** are you doing?’ 

Deadshot- ‘Nine hours is a long time.’

Hope you enjoyed that one kids. He’s having a p***, but the writer doesn’t really give one. Thanks for coming, now bugger off and read one of the three versions of Wonder Woman available from DC this week.

Yes, it's a pretty stupid comic book.

Man, what can you say? I could complain about how it was set in no time and thus has no relevance whatsoever to, well, anything. I could complain that the art was a bit ropey in the second story and that Harley Quinn looked like a builder in a dress. I could complain that the tone was as throwaway as last week’s mouldy pizza crusts. I could moan and complain until the cows come home, but what’s the point?

Like I said in the first paragraph, Tomasi very obviously doesn’t care, so why should I? One thing happens in this book, one thing. That one thing is Deadshot taking a comedy leak off of the top of a building. That’s the highlight of the book, an indifferent pi** over the side of a very tall building.

I’ll conclude this review by doing more work than Tomasi did. I’m going to leave you with an image. Think of Donald Trump in a muscled-up Batman costume. Think of him going to the poor areas of the city. Think of him acting like he’s their great saviour, that he alone can make their lives better. Do you have the image in your head? It’s pretty ridiculous isn’t it? Now take that image, store it, have a laugh with it, and forget about this book. Have a bloody brilliant day with Donald ‘The Batman’ Trump dancing away in your head, and let’s pretend that Batman Arkham Knight #7 didn’t just turn up, take a leak, and waste everybody’s time and money.

Rating: 3/10 (Purely for the pi**)


SJW Watch:
For those keeping tabs on social justice warrior/ identity politics/ cultural Marxism themes in contemporary corporate comic books, this truly forgettable book includes a wonderfully ‘progressive’ panel featuring a muscled up woman working as a construction labourer. Nice job Peter. Women just love working on building sites. They can’t get enough of the low pay, hard physical work and dangerous environment. Extra ‘head in the clouds’ SWJ brownie points for that one mate.

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