Comic review: Ted McKeever’s The Superannuated Man #3- HE

Creator, writer and artist: Ted McKeever
Publisher: Image Comics
Released: 10th September 2014

It’s very easy to empathise with the character known as ‘HE’ in ‘The Superannuated Man.’ HE is surrounded by the inevitable endgame of Darwinian evolutionary theory. A wasteland where talking rats drink out of urinals, and humans are denigrated as evolutionary leftovers, anachronistic mounds of useless flesh that are to be looked at with suspicion and barely disguised disgust.

It’s a world of apathy, suspicion, overflowing trash, of seedy opportunism, triviality marketed as entertainment and a freak show circus for the degenerate baying mobs.

HE can try to stay away from the squalor, the filth, the godless, polluted mutants, but it always drags him back, out of his solitary hidden cave, back onto the litter strewn streets, where HE waits for the inevitable smack over the back of the head, a mugging, torture, pain. Well, it has to be better than nothing? Right?

HE is living in a world where human connectivity is dead. The animals have taken over. Charles Darwin is God now. HE feels old, lost, tired and disgusted with it all. HE has no direction. HE has no purpose. HE has no friends. HE has no family. HE has no soul mate. HE has no blood lust. HE has no desire to dominate. HE has no desire to use and abuse. HE is strange. HE is weird. HE just wants to be left alone.

‘You assholes couldn’t just leave things alone, could you? Just gone about your lives and left me the Hell alone.’

Of course they couldn’t. That is how the world of sick mutant animals works. A man who does no harm, who wants to be left alone, well that’s suspicious, right? He must be up to something. Best lump him over the head, just to be on the safe side.

I love this book. The artwork is beyond my descriptive abilities. Just take a look at the sample alongside this review. Is that not gorgeous? It goes without saying, though I'll bloody say it anyway, this is quite obviously a must buy book. You need to get it, now. Thank you Ted McKeever. You are a talented, talented man.

Rating: 10/10

Comic book review: Sheltered #11- The brakes are on, and it’s starting to drag

Writer: Ed Brisson
Artist: Johnnie Christmas
Publisher: Image Comics
Released: 10th September 2014


The main reason for me reading Sheltered was the hope that the craziness going on in the prepper camp, the craziness that has led to children killing their parents in preparation for the end of the world, would be revealed as a psychological operation designed by a three letter agency to demonise people who want to be independent and get off the satanic corporate control grid.

There were early hints that this could be about mind control and media demonisation when a couple of panels showed a very famous mind-control trigger book, that book being ‘The Catcher In the Rye’ by J.D. Salinger. I’ve been waiting eleven issues now for this thread to be developed.  Guess what? It hasn’t been developed at all.

Instead I have been reading a Lord of the Flies retread with kids getting crazy, picking on outsiders, fighting amongst themselves and slowly going insane. The end of the world hasn’t happened, obviously, and a couple of deliverymen have been killed. The kids are arguing, as you would expect, and that’s about it really.

Issue #11 is a very slow, ponderous drag (and it really is starting to drag now) through the inevitable plot process where the outside world begins to discover what is happened on the camp. It really isn’t very interesting anymore.

The characters seem tired and played out. Some cops make fun of the prepper camp, calling them ‘crack-pots’ and ‘Whackos.’ I would expect that kind of mentality from cops. After all, if you wear a uniform of the control system your indoctrination and mind control programming is going to make you demonise anybody that wants to break away from the cult that you are so proud to be a part of, and yes government worship is cult worship. It’s called statism, and its the most murderous and violent form of cult worship in world history. Cops are cult worshippers, as are soldiers, as are beaurucrats, as are politicians. Apart from that point, I find little of interest happening in this issue. There are no twists, no surprises. It’s by the numbers story-telling. Competent, but hardly enthralling to read.

The cops are going to find out what the kids have been up to, and that will be it. There will be another bloodbath, probably, to inject some action-based excitement into the final scenes, and what have we learnt? That we shouldn’t be self-sufficient? That we should live with chains around our necks and be good corporate slaves to a system that hates our guts and calls us names like sheeple and useless eaters? It’s all very depressing, isn’t it? I’m going to be a stubborn idiot and read the next few issues, just to see if the mind control aspect comes into fruition. If it doesn’t, and I’m 90% sure that it won’t now, then I see little point in this story at all. Okay, so you’ve updated William Golding's tale of savage humanity and bullying little brats for the prepper generation. Great, but what exactly have you achieved here? What have you said that hasn’t already been said before?

Rating: 4/10

Comic book review: Grendel Vs. The Shadow- Book One- Starring Grendel, the biggest douchebag in comic book history

Writer & Artist: Matt Wagner
Colourist: Brennan Wagner
Publisher: Darkhorse Comics/Dynamite Entertainment
Released: 3rd September 2014

I was a little confused with one of the lines in the opening segment of this book. A sociopathic asshole called ‘Grendel’ appeared to go through some kind of time travel device and whilst surveying a New York city skyline (I knew it was new York because it featured the unmistakable image of the Empire State building) asked, Where are the twin towers?’

My initial reaction was very favourable. Brilliant, I thought. I’m finally going to get a Shadow story set in a post 9/11 world. I’m finally going to see the Shadow deal with contemporary concerns like NSA surveillance, criminal wall-street banksters owning everything and everybody, illegal foreign wars based on lies, the deliberate collectivisation of a dumbed down, television watching slave population and all of the other nightmarish realities that are rapidly destroying America in 2014. But no, after reading on I quickly realised that the reference to the missing twin towers didn’t mean that he was in the present, no he was in the past, before they were built. In the 1930’s, and that’s unfortunately where the Shadow still was.

The obvious question then is, what era is this Grendel piece of crap coming from? After a quick Start Page search (I refuse to use the NSA search engine of choice Google) I learnt that this Grendel moron (I immediately took a vicious dislike to him) is a 1980’s creation by Matt Wagner. So rather than bringing him into the present day (which would make him far more relevant and interesting) I guess he’s still stuck somewhere in the 1980’s. That’s a choice of convenience. It’s the easy choice. You have your character staying in the safe 1980’s and you don’t have to talk about any of the issues that are effecting the world today. I hate it when my comic books do that. I find it cowardly, very cowardly.

Having got all of that off my chest I want to quickly state that I didn’t hate this book. It was enjoyable, and as long as you don’t think about things too much it’s a good little comic. I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll list the pluses and minuses of the book, and see whether or not I can recommend it. First off, the pluses:

The colouring in the book is vivid, dramatic and very effective. It creates an atmosphere all of it’s own, and together with the BADDA BADDA BADDA textual sound effects (that was a gun) it’s almost like a cheesy episode of Batman from the 1970’s. It’s silly, very silly, with very bad villains and very good heroes. The plot is childishly simple to follow and the Shadow himself keeps popping up in the err, well Shadows with his trademark HAHAHAHAHA laugh. It’s a lot of fun, it’s just well, it’s a lot….silly.

The minuses of the book are very apparent. The female characters are either angels or sultry, seductive vixens. They are add-ons to the male characters, and that really does stand out in 2014 where female characters are portrayed as the protagonists. A lot of modern readers will hate that. I don’t hate it; I just find it a little strange, a little old-fashioned and a little bit insulting, even though I myself get fed up of contemporary comics where the females are always in charge.

The character of Grendel, as you’ve probably already noticed from my brief descriptions of him, is extremely unlikeable. The guy is pretty much the living dictionary definition of a complete and utter twat. A drug dealing kingpin who doesn’t value human life, at all. In this book he’s portrayed as a super dashing, ultra-cool, handsome, debonair, erudite Nietsche ubermensch. In other words, uggggghhhh, he’s repulsive and I want to see the Shadow hand his ass to him for two books straight. I can’t believe that this twat was a major character for so long in the 80’s and 90’s. What the Hell were people thinking, buying books about this repellent douchebag?

This assbag Grendel character comes across as a wish-fulfilment fantasy character for writer Matt Wagner. In this single issue Grendel uses his awesome acrobatic ability and the super technology of a knife on a stick to bring an entire Mafia family to it’s knees. Oh, and he’s also a brilliant author as well, somehow knocking out a society adored best seller in about ten minutes flat, and he’s extremely handsome and all of the hot girls want to sleep with him, obviously. Oh God, this is verging on the laughable. It’s like a bratty, twatty fourteen-year-old has written himself into a comic book. Aggghhh, unbearable.

So why did I largely enjoy this book? It wasn’t just the colouring, was it? Strangely enough, I think it largely was about the colouring, and the knowledge that the Shadow is lurking in the backgrounds just waiting to kick lumps of crap out of the bag of shite douchefarm known as Grendel. You know what? I’m going to get the next two issues of this book. Matt Wagner has made me hate his Grendel character so much that I want to hang around to see him get kicked out of the 1930’s and sent back into the safe, nowhere land of the mid 1980’s, hopefully to never return and darken the Shadow’s path ever again.

I would have been absolutely thrilled to read a book with the Shadow in a post 9/11 world, but I didn’t get it here. Hopefully somebody out there in comic book land is reading this rant/review and they can do that? Go on, be brave. DO IT. But for the time being I’ll take what Shadow action I can get. His red scarf looks really cool in this book, and I’ll keep on reading just to see him hand Mr 1980’s Grendel his ass in a handbag.

Rating: 7/10 

Comic book review: Transformers Primacy #2- Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.

Writer: Chris Metzen & Flint Dille
Art: Livio Ramondelli
Publisher: IDW
Released: 10th September 2014

The story in issue #3 of Transformers: Primacy is a bridge between the context establishing issue #1 and a showdown between two titans of good and evil in issue #3. If you want to get ALL of the context behind what is happening now, then you need to buy the following two books (and I strongly suggest that you do):

- http://tfwiki.net/wiki/The_Transformers:_Autocracy
- http://tfwiki.net/wiki/The_Transformers:_Monstrosity

There is not much happening in issue #2. The Decepticons are getting ready for the big show-down and gathering their forces from all over the galaxy. The best part of this process is to see what happens when people/robots who subscribe to the brutally anti-human Darwinian ‘Survival of the fittest’ philosophy reach their inevitable conclusion.

It’s a philosophy based on perpetual war, and perpetual slaughter until only one is left, like that old Daffy Duck cartoon where he blows up an entire planet just to have the satisfaction of having one tiny rock as his own personal kingdom.

The main reason for purchasing Transformers: Primacy #2 however, is the lovingly rendered art and colouring by Livio Ramondelli. It’s dark, atmospheric, heavily shadowed and utterly compelling. It is artwork that needs to be taken in under heavy light, where you can examine every contour, texture and detail that is hidden away in the black atmospheric gloom. It’s perfect for the story being told, as you have to take your time with it, and that is exactly what you need to do with the story as well.

At the end of this issue the big battle has been set-up, and issue #3 is a must buy. Issue #2 does what it needs to do. It takes its time, puts all of the players into place and ramps up the excitement for what is to happen next.

Get this issue for the artwork alone. You won’t see the Transformers depicted as lovingly and artistically as this. A two page spread of the battling Metroplex and Trypticon is absolute gorgeous, coloured and shaded in apocalyptic black and with splashes of bright yellow explosions as they tumble into the city below it’s something to take your time with, to lay flat on your table and just plain enjoy.

This book always delivers, and if you haven’t yet had the pleasure then I strongly suggest you get yourself a copy as soon as possible. This was another one of those books that I wasn’t sure about, took a gamble with, and ended up absolutely adoring. It’s one of the best comic books on the market today, and every single panel is an absolute joy.

Rating: 8/10

Comic book review: Infinity Man and the Forever People- Futures End #1- A Surprise Emotional Hit

Story: Dan Didio and Keith Giffen
Art: Philip Tan
Publisher: DC Comics
Released: 10th September 2014

I only got this book because of the absolutely awesome 3D front cover, and I joked to the guys in the comic book shop that I probably wouldn’t even bother reading it. That’s how little hope I held out for the story being anything that I would actually enjoy. But I was wrong. I love being wrong, it’s such a delight to find out that you didn’t know what you were talking about, and that you have discovered something wonderful and new. People should try being wrong a bit more often. It really is a lot of fun.

I knew absolutely zilch about the characters in this book, and the story has done exactly what it should do to readers such as myself. It has made me intrigued, made me want to find out more about these fascinating comic book creations. It helps that the art is fantastic, because it really is. The book centres on two characters, and they are beautifully pencilled and coloured. The elfin female character by the name of Dreamer is gorgeous. I haven’t seen such prettiness and grace in a comic book character in quite some time. I need to know more about that girl.

The script is clever, in that it uses one of the two characters as the entrance point into the story. This character is confused about what is going on, and he’s asking questions trying to unravel the mystery. It’s perfect for a new reader like myself, and he even shares my name (Mark). It’s a sign from the comic book multi-verse I’m telling you. Do you know what it’s saying? It’s saying, ‘Oy Mark, read this bloody comic.’ And so I will.

Apart from the story-telling structure and beautiful artwork this book has a wonderfully rich emotional core that emanates from every page. The two characters have emotional history with each other. There has been a betrayal, or has there? Things have gone wrong, but the emotional bond is still there. A single panel depicting tears trickling down the cheeks of a traumatised Dreamer tells a story that is bubbling just beneath the surface. This is how to connect with the reader on the most important level of them all, that level in the gut where you feel connected to the characters as real people. These are not silly comic book archetypes, they are real people with real emotions, and you want to root for them, cheer for them, and hope that they reverse their current predicament that evidentially is causing them so much pain.

That’s quite an achievement for one comic book, don’t you think? And when you bear in mind that this reader/reviewer is a complete newbie to the Infinity Man and Forever People universe that’s extremely impressive. I love it when I’m wrong. The contents of this book are just as awesome as the 3D front cover. I didn’t think that was it possible, but it is. I’ve just read it, and it’s bloody brilliant. Stick it on my pull-list. I can’t wait to dive headfirst into this wonderful new comic book world of Infinity man and the Forever People.

Rating: 9/10

Comic book review: Prometheus Fire and Stone #1- A very bad start to a very long event

Writer: Paul Tobin
Art: Juan Ferreyra
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Released: 10th September 2014

This introductory instalment of a seventeen issue, crossover event has to be good. Actually, it has to be very good.  It has to hook the readers into the story immediately and make them want to get every single issue of the run. It has to make the reader salivate in anticipation of what is going to happen next. It’s a teaser, a sample of the product that is yet to come.  If this issue fails to excite the reader then the entire crossover event is immediately in jeopardy. Issue #1 of Prometheus gets off to a very wobbly start. It then proceeds to trip, lose it’s balance, step on a banana skin and do a double somersault before landing flat on its face, arse in the air and pants around it’s ankles.

Why does it fall so spectacularly? There are a number of reasons. First off it fails to follow the last story (as seen in the big budget movie ‘Prometheus’) from its most interesting point. The movie ended on an unsatisfying note because it failed to answer the big question. If aliens created man, who created the aliens? You didn’t get that answer in the movie, and unless I’m very much mistaken it looks you are not going to get that answer here either.

Perhaps that question will be answered later on in the event, but there are no hints that this is where it’s going to go, and as that is the most interesting selling point of this entire arc why not hint about it here in the first issue? All I get from this first issue is the impression that we are going to get some Alien versus Predator fight scenes. That might be enough for some, but I want a bit more than that in my comics.

The dialogue in this issue felt a bit off to me as well. Sorry, that’s being a bit too nice. The dialogue felt very off. The characters were in witty banter mode and it felt completely unnatural. They were talking like characters in a cheap and cheesy action movie rather than as real people engaging in believable conversations with each other. The individual characters were impossible to identify with, as they were two dimensional, and drawn from the laziest of action movie cliches. The feminist liberal, sexually attractive, independently spirited young female leader. The overcompensating male chauvinistic macho show-off. The scientist with a secret. These people exist in bad movies, not in real life.

The art felt rushed, like it was half-done, like it was not quite ready for publication. Some of the backgrounds were lacking in colour and detail, the faces looked like rough sketches and the colouring was dull and lifeless.

The issue ends with a good cliffhanger, with the protagonists in danger from something lurking in the background. That’s good, but there’s a big problem. The problem is that the stilted characterisations and dialogue meant that I found it impossible to empathise with any of the characters, and I couldn’t care less about what happens to any of them.

It’s a horrible start to an event series, and a jumping off point already for this reader/reviewer. I’ll keep on checking out the other reviews, just to see if this event tackles the big question that the movie avoided, but at the moment I can’t find any reason to justify me spending my money on this long seventeen issue event. I really do hope it gets better, but this is no way to hook readers onto an event story that is going to play out over the next five months. The event needed a good start, but it doesn’t get it here.

Rating: 3/10

Comic book review: Grimm Tales of Terror #2- The greed of man meets eight legged judgement

Writers: Shane McKenzie
Artist: Przemyslaw Klosin
Publisher: Zenescope Entertainment Inc
Released: 3rd September 2014

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tales_from_the_Crypt_(TV_series)


If you enjoy reading old horror comics then this is a book that you’ll want to pick up. It’s very old fashioned, with the script reading like an old episode of ‘Tales from the Crypt’ with the bookend technique of a ghoulish narrator laughing at us stupid, vain and greedy human beings. Only this time we don’t get the Crypt Keeper telling the tale, in his place we get a busty postwoman who delivers death with a whistle.

I found this technique to be a little confusing in comic book form, as she didn’t have anything to do with the main story apart from igniting it. Plus the end panels of her watching over the death of a cruel rich guy had absolutely nothing to do with the main tale. It was a little bit confusing and not as satisfying as it could have been.

The main tale involves greedy treasure hunters and a giant spider. It’s not original, and it’s been done a lot better many times before. There were some problems with the three main personalities involved in the tale as well. They were more complicated than they needed to be, and because of the short nature of this tale there wasn’t enough time to fully develop the characters. There were hints that went nowhere, and when the characters met their inevitable demise the impact was somewhat lessened because I couldn’t get a secure grasp on who they actually were.

These tales should be simple. You need good guys, bad guys and a twist. This book had bad guys, more bad guys and no twist. I shouldn’t have enjoyed this book, because it had huge flaws, but there was something about it that I really did enjoy.

I liked the tone of the writing, the humour in the dialogue, the silliness, the fast paced nature of it, the excitement of following the protagonists into a creepy cave and the old fashioned sense of adventure and horror that it was all wrapped up in.

The art did not detract from the tale and some large panels of arachnid based horror certainly had an impact. It’s not going to win any awards, but some of the dark shading and torch lit panels of the explorers looked suitably atmospheric, daunting and creepy, and the postwoman character looked very alluring in her slightly too tight uniform. In my far from unbiased and slightly seedy opinion, if an artist can draw a ridiculously bosomed female in very tight clothes then he must be doing something right.

Grimm Tales of Terror #2 has its flaws, but it’s a very enjoyable book. It has the feel of an old-fashioned horror comic with a strong moral message at its centre, and with a conclusion where greedy and unpleasant characters get exactly what they deserve. It’s a nice way to spend ten minutes of your time, and if you enjoy your old style horror comics then I’m sure you’ll get a lot of enjoyment out of the book.

Rating: 7/10 (simply, because it was fun)