VON - Dark Gods: The Council of Seven (Comic Book CD Single)

*THERE IS A 50% DISCOUNT CODE FOR ALL VON PRODUCTS AT THE END OF THIS REVIEW

Violence beginning with the stalk, undercover, cloaked, watching, then a burst of energy as the lizard brain darts to attack. In teams with the uniformed solidarity that injects courage into the meek, illusion of strength feels intensified. A double-attack, no, let’s do it in our council of seven.

I watch the Marxist little boys and girls on Washington streets, black-clad, masks covering, slogan chanting, claiming victimhood, as all coward criminals, do, it’s a personality type. Watching as I listen to VON, marching bands, seething bitter menace, the totalitarian leftists of new Trump-era 2017. Young college kids, inventing bravery narratives whilst being protected by the cops they claim to despise.

‘He punched a girl. Arrest him.’

The cops, my new heroes, ignore them. It’s funny, the evil that black-clad weaklings manifest. Did you know that evil is a joke? I never understood it before. What gives ‘Birth’ to chanting spoilt not going to work fools?

Quiet again now, creeping, building. I can see a young Marxist male in a squat, twenty-one years old, impressing a girl. She needs a home, masculine guidance. Messed-up, lost, she just wants somewhere to belong, but more than that, she needs male love. How long do they have? Is it months, a couple of years? Going back to the college, to see if he can retake that course again. The dreadlocks in his hair can stay for another semester. She re-reads the old book that she didn’t quite understand. Feels smarter than white supremacist bourgeoisie, the class enemy of proletariat utopia. Poor dry rich desert girl, in love with tall boy because he talks of the Leninism interpretation that will redeem it all.

Evil is weak, ill, yellowing, it punches you in the face, and screams about victimhood. Evil detests authority, then runs to government guns when genuine rebellion strikes back. VON gets weak. VON gets the mindset of self-pity and violent decay. VON opens doors. I always talk about doors. I’m attracted to them. I like looking in. In the past, decades past, I would jump in, and slam the doors behind me. I bear upon me a scarred mistake, a badge of regret, a stain of youth to remain forever.

Today, with a mindset no longer in the gutter and looking at the stars, I still play it, the game of evil, but with Ariadne’s thread now firmly around my waist. I go there, to the land of sickness, places that VON can take you, but as the thread tightens I return to safety before danger engulfs me in the darkness of my past.

I offer to you now, a ball of thread. Here is my discounted entry point. Click on the link below, chose your room of exploration, put in the code “rant” and you will receive 50% off the full price of admission. Take advantage, but be careful, for VON is the same yellow evil as Marxist Anarchist weakness. Unravel my discounted thread, explore, but please come back to safety in daylight of Trump’s new world of do it yourself masculinity.


I get poetic, but there’s always truth in my words. Clink on the link below, choose anything from the site, and put in the code “rant” for a 50% discount. Explore VON, pick your poison, get in and see what is literally, on offer. VON is a labyrinth and there is a Minotaur there. Enjoy, but be careful. Doors are closing all of the time, taste the reality of evil, but don’t get lost within the labyrinth of eternal dark regret.


Click here to discover VON: https://riseofvon.com/von-records


Use DISCOUNT CODE: “rant” TO GET 50% OFF ON ALL ORDERS.

Black Metal Review: VON - DARK GODS: BOOK ONE + DARK GODS: MOTHER (CD SINGLE)

Tracks:

1- Mother: 8:30

2- The End: 5:08


A wounded creature, torn into a million infected pieces, poisoned with a nihilism of the soul, agonisingly aware of the sickness that condemn his life, whispers, pleads, cries and finally, sings to the life giving agent who started it all.

‘Mother,’ you do not want to make soul contact, for there is madness here, a sticky madness that binds to the abyss. Take the hand of your guide, and visit the frozen no-man land where insanity reigns. Breathe in the intoxicating dankness of the pit where there is blood on the walls, but do not linger. Be as a tourist, explore in safety, but then, please, return quickly to the love of your family and the sanctuary that is your home.

Two songs, ‘ Mother,’ a wail of disease, wallowing in degradation, on a cold marble floor, stained red with deep scars of despair. Did you really do what you think you have done? Ponder on it, for you have all of eternity, here, now, in stasis of regret, sick-boy you have reached ‘The End.’

Available at the link below, with an excellent comic book, raw-pain alien lizard god art, a narrative of Nephilim and bloodlines, sleeping Gods, awakening, a vessel, a boy, destruction of the world. If you are like me, if you are a student of Bible prophecy, Zecharia Sitchin, David Icke, Erich Von Daniken and Graham Hancock, if you know these names, you’ll want the comic book. If however you are reading these lines with a puzzled look upon your face, stop, it’s okay, there’s a door opening. Buy the book, CD included, read, listen, experience. The doorway to VON has opened for you.



Click on link. Buy now, music and book or digital single. Use the discount code "rant" and you will receive an amazing 50% off all orders. You can thank me later:

https://riseofvon.com/dark-gods-comic

Rogue One: A Far-Right Review

Directed by: Gareth Edwards

Screenplay by: Chris Weitz & Tony Gilroy

Story by: John Knoll & Gary Whitta

Starring:
Felicity Jones
Diego Luna
Ben Mendelsohn
Forest Whitaker

Distributed by: Walt Disney Studios

Release Date: December 10, 2016 



Thirty-seven minutes into a movie that I refuse to pay for, here’s what I think. Loads of quips, trying so hard to be funny, getting a bit annoying now. The girl, she’s beating up all of the men, easily, white stormtroopers, something about male disposability going on here, unintentional, obviously, them being white, also unintentional, just how it goes, right?

Didn’t one of the writers say something on twatter about the cuckfest movie being about a team of multicultural heroes against white supremacy? I see that. I also see the lefts ridiculous framing of themselves as heroic rebels, against the evil empire of white male patriarchy, whilst being completely oblivious to the fact that the lefties have been destroying western civilisation in political, academic and media power hubs for decades now. How do you portray yourselves as the heroic ‘rebels’ when you are in charge of everything? I know, let’s go back in time and pretend that the mythological evil that is the ‘far-right’ is actually in power, not us.

'Hello, we are the patriarchy, how may we assist you?'

That’s what they are doing in the movies anyway, cough ‘A Force Asleepens,’ and in the real world you finally have something real to fight against. The rise of the real world evil empire, starts this Friday with the Trump inauguration ceremony, fear, fear, fear, safe spaces needed. Hey soft guys and girls (I know, no difference now, is there?) great news for you all, you get to play at being the rebels again, just like in this movies. Yay, call for the assassination of Trump on your twatter platforms. You are so heroic, so progressive and so rebellious, even though you are serving the agenda of totalitarian globalists.

Talking of tools, that female lead can’t act at all, how funny it is, not as funny as seeing her beat up all of the men who are three times her size, but still pretty funny nonetheless. You’d think they’d at least be able to find a skinny white girl with a vaguely ‘British’ accent that could act a bit. I guess not, how hard can it be? But hey, that’s leftists for you, they screw up everything. Enough with the writing, I need to get back to the movie. I’m not enjoying it by the way. So glad I didn’t pay Disney corp for this tosh. Okay, back in. I’ll let you know what I think in another thirty minutes or so.

Oh man, back already. Just seen Forest Whitaker ‘acting' with the little girl character and I couldn’t believe this was possible, but he’s actually chewing the scenery worse than she is, putting on a ridiculous Broken Matt Hardy accent in an attempt to be ‘crazy.’ It’s flipping hilarious, really, unintentionally hilarious. What happened to him? He used to be good, didn’t he? I have to get back. Broken Forest Whitaker is so bad he’s cucking awesome.

Multiculturalism to the rescue.

Ha ha ha, they’re just explaining the ‘flaw’ in the Death star, that old plot hole from the original movie. Quite lame, obviously, but they’re loading up the syrupy sentimentality in a hope to get away with it. It will work of course, the cucks watching this shite will lap it up. Oh and Peter Cushing looks like a CGI Peter Cushing, doesn’t sound like him either, sucks, but that’s how it is. As for the comedy relief robot that is getting rave reviews. Nah, bores me, much like the movie is already boring me now at the 48-minute mark. Germanic villains from a WW2 movie, cartoonishly evil, not real people, Hollywood being Hollywood again. Hi Israel. Not even one hour in and I’m bored, bored, bored.

Missing fathers, always missing fathers. Cuck Wars is a universe with missing fathers, says so much about the world we live in today. No fathers equals no resistance, genuine resistance, not lefty bullshit coming out of the foundation funded university system and bled into news/entertainment/culture with ambitious young careerists repeating their programming to get ahead. Get rid of dad and the children run to the globalist empire. That’s real world stuff now, important stuff. Get that and we have a chance, don’t and we might as well go the cinema and shovel multicultural popcorn into our brains.

65mins in and I’m so bored. I don’t care about any of these people, the acting is terrible and the villains are not believable. They must be reading my mind, because here comes a big battle scene, noise, explosions, special FX masking a boring movie, lifeless script, dull 2D characters. Is the dad dead? I don’t care.

Yep, he’s dead. The new message, die dad die, young girls are the future now. Well, is anybody surprised? That’s what Hollywood and the lefty globalists want, get rid of nationalistic dad, your children belong to us now. Only in your movies, losers. The real rebellion is well underway in 2017. Brexit, Trump, bitches. You cannot kill genuine masculine resistance with feminism and white knighting cucks. Ask Hillary, she’ll tell you, if she’s sober that is.

Here comes Darth Nostalgia, that breathing, the cucks are wetting themselves. Hang on, ten seconds in and even Vader is over-acting. What a joke it all is. And he departs, with a ‘choking’ pun. Man, what a suck-fest cuck-fest.

Broken Forest Whitaker says, 'I knew you would come.'

And now the little girl is lecturing a multicultural collective of brave rebel heroes with the wordly wisdom of a couple of years of adulthood. How old is she? She looks like she’s barely out of lefty government school. Oh and a woman is their dictator and none of them appear to mind that she has the final say on a huge decision that could end the lot of them. Well, we all know how the left love a dictator don’t we, so I guess they got that right at least.

Just over half an hour left, waiting for another big battle, don’t care about anything that is happening, time is slowing to a crawl, so glad I didn’t go the cinema and pay for this turd.

Oh man, the teenager is giving a leadership speech now to all of the blokes, what a joke, all of the men bowing to this great eight stone warrior girl with too much eye make-up and a wonky English accent that comes straight out of a Simpson’s cartoon. Is the actress a Brit? I think that she is. I guess that being driven to drama school in a Chelsea tractor for over a decade didn’t exactly give her much experience in the real world and her ‘I was like and she was like’ real life accent is probably not ‘English’ enough for the movie. Multiculturalism destroys hosts cultures. Talk to an English girl today, you’ll see. They sound like idiots, American idiots. Hey Green day. Fuck off Green day. Libtard drunks, back now after eight years of drinking, you are the tooliest tools of all the rock and roll tools.

Down go the whitey stormtroopers, yay multicultural heroes, death to whitey, look at whitey die. Fan service stuff, how long left? Twenty minutes? That’s too long, much too long. My brain is shrinking, my will to live….fading.

Gin Asshole? Is that her name? I like it. Finally, something that I like.

Worst marksmen like totally evvvveerrr.

The end is like the original movie, just without characters that I actually care about. Why can’t they write believable or likeable characters anymore? Comedy characters don't count. They're silly, childish and easy, hello Mr robot, you are supposed to be the best character in the movie, you, the comic relief. I agree with that commonly held opinion, your silliness is amusing and that’s all that the movie has, none of the other characters make any impact whatsoever. The robot is dying now and it’s a little bit sad, the life of the movie, metal comedy relief, is gone, the movie now limps to the conclusion.

Girl jumps first, man follows, of course, the message of the movie, just like all Disney movies. Strong independent women need no man, that role being taken by socialist/globalist government now.

Is he dead? Sacrificed his life for the girl? Don’t do that. Don’t be a white knight, don’t be a cuck. They wouldn’t do it for you. They run to government, betray you, betray their own people and invite in a real patriarchy. Do not self-sacrifice for government girls who will destroy western civilisation to feel good about themselves on twitter.

Much better than Jar Jar.

Oh, boyfriend is back to save the girl. Not dead, yet. Sucker. CGI Peter Cushing is back, over-acting as the real Peter Cushing would never do. Bang, are they all dead? I hope so. Hello, here’s Darth Nostalgia, staring menacingly. Oh, they are not dead yet, the dull couple. Please kill them Lord Nostalgia, just don’t talk, your accent is a bit wrong, like all of the accents in the movie actually.

Nostalgia Vader ain’t talking, chopping, best bit of the movie. He's kicking lefty rebel ass, blending into the original movie, that first bit when Darth makes his entrance and oh, here's Princess Leah.

‘What is it they sent us?’

‘Hope.’

END

Well we all know how that really ends don’t we. It ends with Obama's empty slogans, broken promises, drones, war, government dependency, SJW tantrums, failure, BLM, ISIS and Donald Trump coming in to sort out all of the damage that has been caused.

Movie reviews are supposed to end with a summary, a conclusion, but this here, this thing, was different, don’t you think? I didn’t pay for this movie and I’m glad that I didn’t. It was soft leftism, out of touch, nostalgia, fan service, comedy robot, feminism, dullness, multiculturalism versus white nationalism, the usual fare that you can expect from Hollywood for the next four years. Don’t go the cinema. It’s only going to get worse, hey Meryl?

Libtards have been in charge of everything for far too long and now we are living during the time of the real rebellion, a nationalist uprising against their globalist socialist evils. Cinema has to change, or it will die. Same story for television, academia, politics, literature, comic books, everything. Change, adapt or die, it’s evolution baby, the false god of libtards that is now biting them on the butts and how amusing it is indeed. I’m looking forward to Friday. Donald Trump, a new beginning, not just for America, but for the future of western civilisation. The era of empty, passive hope is dead. Hollywood is dying. The new era is of competence, hard work and individualism. To hope is to be passive. Don’t hope, don’t wait, get up, believe in yourself, create, work, do.


Rating for movie: 2/10 (For Darth Nostalgia getting choppy at the end and the comedy robot being an amusing antidote to the dullness that surrounded him/it)

Music review: Witch’s Oath (EP) by Mindkult: A Lament to Socialist Ideology

Get EP here: https://mindkult.bandcamp.com/album/witchs-oath-3


Evil sells itself as collective strength over individual weakness, of belonging to something that is greater than little you and little me. It is a lie, and no, I am not talking religion here. I am talking its modern, western replacement. I am talking about liberal collectivism as sold to the masses by the political establishment that is the left. I am talking about politicians and I am talking about western civilisation in 2016. I am talking about the ideological consensus that permeates our media, academia and body politic. I am talking about the weakness of the left and how it is destroying everything that has been built up through centuries of struggle. I am talking about that box in the corner of my room that lies to me. I am talking about the people who appear on it. I am talking about the salesmen who still cling to the ideology of old as their entire building collapses around them.

I have always sensed a strong undercurrent of vulnerability and weakness in the salesman of the left. Today the desperation is plain for all to see, a pleading softness, prostrating itself for an ideologically cursed master of collective deception. The left is the establishment and the establishment is beginning to Brexit collapse.

In Witch’s Oath by Mindkult I hear the soft cult hive mind of the left. The seductive power is in the rhythmic guitar blasts of false hope, with quantitative easing falsity that promises rejuvenation, but sludges to a crawl as the decay of leftist reality and bread line communist queues kicks in. Death hangs in the air like an omnipresent cloud, taking the followers one by one, yet when they look to the sky of reality the QE guitar kicks in again and a false rush of adrenaline distraction compels their heads downwards, back to the sludge, cult of personality collectivism.

The unhappy lamenting despair pleading coming from the voice of the singer is uniquely defeated. He is socialist ideology, the sad-eyed, crazy weak and ultimately compromised Bernie Sanders, the self-defeating power hungry Jeremy Corbyn or one of the numerous EU leftist politicians calling for open border policies as Islamic massacres happen on their very doorsteps. Lyrically the voice calls for obedience to the ideological promises of old, yet the delivery is cut through with a melancholic and diseased slow paced, whispered sadness. There is an awful sense of defeat in the voice, a sense that the game is up, that nobody wants what he is selling. Life is coming to an end in a tired, sick, Hillary Clinton style collapse where the lies of the past build up into a tidal wave of karmic retribution that will destroy us all.

I hear the modern left in all four songs of beautiful collapse that are offered here. There is a melancholic beauty in seeing everything fall apart. You set up your deckchair amidst the ruins of western civilisation and sing a sad lament. You sing to the ideological purity of Karl Marx, pleading to his departed adherents to return to the fold where we are just another revolution away from creating the perfect socialist paradise. You sing in hope, but the sound turns into a mournful truth of resignation as you realise deep inside yourself that a socialist paradise can and never will exist and that you have been sold a lie from the very beginning.

Rating: 10/10 (Loud it up)

Comic Book Review: Lake Of Fire #1- Cathars, Catholics, Crusaders & Creatures

Illustrated by: Matt Smith
Written, Coloured & Lettered by: Nathan Fairbairn
Publisher: Image
Release Date: 24th August 2016



I haven’t written a ‘proper’ comic book review for a very long time now, having being put off my sometimes hobby due to an avalanche of same old, same old PC programming coming from just about every bloody comic book that I read today.

After all, how many times can you moan about Cultural Marxism programming coming from painfully emasculated PC writers before all you are doing is repeating yourself?

In my experience, not long, and so I stopped doing the weekly reviews, returning only when I found something that was worth writing about because it offered something different, either good different or bad different, just different.

All I really want is different, but in the consensus liberal comic book world of today, different is very, very rare. If you like teen girl heroes with oddly masculine characteristics then you’ll love the state of the comic book industry today, but I’m a guy in his forties, so sorry, call me weird, call me misogynist, but I just can’t relate to teen girl protagonists and their ass kicking shenanigans.

Lake Of Fire #1 isn’t about a teenage girl kicking men in the face. It’s different and that is why I’m writing about it now. So, what is it about? Without spoiling it for you (and I suggest you buy a copy of the book immediately) it’s about a group of believable people dealing with an unbelievable situation. It’s set in the time of the crusades, when the Catholic Church was getting very worried about the Cathars, a group of pacifist Christians who were actually living their lives as good Christians and thus exposing the hypocrisy of the not so Christian Catholic Church. Set amidst the backdrop of that historically fascinating time the narrative follows a group of very believable characters with recognisable human motivations, flaws and personalities. When you read the characters you get the sense that you are reading about real people, not agenda driven wish fulfilment characters that you get in so many mainstream comic books today.

The comic book alchemy in Lake Of Fire #1 is really quite simple. Take two elements of realism (convincing human characters and historical accuracy) add the third element of sci-fi fantasy, mix together, and you have created the perfect comic book magic potion that will delight, enthral and entrance the readers.

The art, by Matt Smith, has a knowing, but not annoying knowing, sense of humour to it. It’s friendly, but not too friendly, there’s danger there, lurking, like a walk in the park, everything is soft and fluffy, but then it starts to rain, it’s getting dark and oh crap, can I hear something stalking me? Everything is very clear, easy to understand, there’s no smoke and mirror messing around with the panel layouts and the individual characters are distinct and easy to distinguish from each other. The artist understands his role in this undertaking, he understands that the writing is bloody good, and so he does all that he can to enhance the story without making it all about himself and distracting from it.

That’s all I’m going to say about the book. I don’t want to spoil any of it for new readers. Look at me, read my other reviews, look at my other reviews on YouTube and you’ll see that I’m a big old bearded complaining git who spends three quarters of his time slagging off comic books. Lake Of Fire #1 is not your average comic book. It’s bloody good, loads of fun, so get onto ebay, go to your comic book shop, do what you have to do. Get the book, read it, enjoy it and you can thank me later.


Rating: 10 /10 (In a different league to the vast majority of comic books on the market today)


Never heard of Cathars? 
Click here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catharism

Comic Book Review: Demonic #1- Conflicted Cop Drama #60,86,88,888,872,33

Writer: Christopher Sebela
Artist: Niko Walter
Publisher: Image
Release Date: 18th August 2016


I’m going to write a comic book. It’s going to be about a sexy demon girl telling a man to do bad things. What kind of man can I use for that purpose? He has to be a good man, a conflicted man, umm, how about a cop? Yeah, a homicide (that means murder) cop, and he can have a partner and they can banter like those television shows about cops, and the movies about cops and the books about cops, cops, cops, cops, cops, cops, cops everywhere, hunting serial killers and lone crazy nut people. Man, I love cops.

2nd panel featuring George Bush Jr and Condoleezza Rice 

Oh and if the lead cop is a white guy then I guess his partner will have to be black, and female, yeah, that’s progressive, that will do.

Okay then, so I have my cop character, I’ll make him look like Matt Damon and give him a tight T-shirt with biceps attached. Yeah he’s generic, 2-D paper-thin, but that doesn’t matter. I can flesh him out with a wife and young daughter, yeah, that will do.

Good guy, conflicted, and I don’t even have to do any research because, well, this guy, the conflicted cop guy with wife and young daughter is a big block of television cliché, done a million times to death already, which means that it works, so why do something new when something old always works so well?

Okay then, conflicted slab of generic with Morgan Freeman, female version partner, so far so blah. Umm, how is my sexy demon girl going to make captain cop generic do bad things? I know, make his daughter ill, that will do, daughters are always ill or kidnapped in television dramas, so I guess that we’ll start with ill, then throw in the kidnapping later.

The demon girl can get him to do bad stuff by promising to make his daughter not ill anymore and he can have the get out clause that he’s only doing it to bad people and it’s making his daughter not be all ill and stuff.

Crazy person cliche alert

Perfect, and throw in some serial killer axe murderer cult demonic clichés with a bucket of mangled body parts, guts and blood that you can only see in an ‘adult’ comic and we are off to the generic races of cliché demon, cop story irrelevance.

Err, what does this have to do with anything in the world today? Nothing, and to prove that I have nothing whatsoever to offer I’ll write the entire first issue with no mention of any modern technology.

That means no cell phones, no Internet, no Pokemon Go, nothing, just generic city murder stuff and bars where depressed men drink whiskey like a 70’s television cop show.

Man, I’m a genius. I love being a comic book writer in 2016, it’s the perfect place to hang out if you have absolutely nothing to say, and want to get paid in peanuts for the privilege of doing so.

I’m feeling really good about this one. I don’t want to jinx myself, but I see television deals in my very near future.

Ah, it’s good to be alive. I wonder what’s going on outside? Ah, who gives a crap, reality sucks anyway.

Rating: 1/10 (1 point for the cover)

Review: Macbeth- Globe Theatre London 27th July 2016- Trump, Heat and Helicopters

I used to write reviews, long, pompous, pointless reviews where I would complain about various books, comics, television shows and movies that weren’t half as good, original, revolutionary, interesting or intellectually stimulating as I wanted them to be.

The motivation behind my reviews was to call-out the blatant leftist cultural programming that dominates and blights mainstream entertainment products. It’s in just about everything now, all liberal, all progressive, all leftist all of the time, and if nobody else was going to say anything about it, then, well, I guess I’d have to do it myself.

So I started a blog, and began to write.

I told people that they were being duped, lied to, programmed, treated like fools, idiots, clowns, and that the establishment left was laughing at them. They didn’t want to hear it. The young, male, feminised, passive, non participatory observers of the world, indoctrinated into leftist faux-intellectualism, where ‘news’ comes from late-night comedy programmes on mainstream liberal tell lie vision, got defensive, angry, refused to investigate, and continued to subject themselves to the same programming as before.

After all, dissenters such as myself can be easily dismissed and labelled with one, if not all of the pejoratives (racist, homophobic, misogynist, Islamaphobe, right wing nationalist etc etc) that the left uses in order to disregard all arguments against their self congratulatory sense of ideological purity. It doesn’t really matter that I am none of those things, the words are meant to demonise opposing views, to end debate and create a safe space for the liberals (hello Twitter) where no ‘hateful’ reality shall ever have to intrude.

The name-calling is a suicide bomb to public debate. The establishment left knows it and uses it to shut down all heretics to their new religion of social justice lies. It’s particularly insidious as it’s targeted at the young who need social approval and group acceptance more than anything else as they grow their social circles, careers and lives. Accept the lies and you will be accepted into the collective, question any of them (gender pay gap anyone?) and you are out of the club.

It doesn’t work on me. I’m older, and I never really wanted to join anything or anybody anyway. I’d rather tell the truth than fit in, but it’s a lonely furrow going against the grain. I did the reviews, and then I stopped, but not because I gave up. There was no path, so I’m making my own, writing my own narrative fiction. That is what I do now. I create my own worlds, the worlds that I was not seeing in the nonsense that I was reading and reviewing. It might take a long time for me to get anyway, but I’ll get there, or die trying. So yeah, I still write, a lot, and I’ll continue to write, but as for reviews, why should I even bother?

The four three weird sisters.

I’ve already said everything that needs to be said, and repeating myself is not my idea of fun. I don’t get paid for this you know. The people who write and produce leftist drivel don’t listen, and the people who consume it are not going to have their ideological cores changed by reviews that are only going to end up pissing them off. Leftists are cult members, they are programmed, they have their ideological religious beliefs, and that’s what they are going to stick to, forever.

What ‘ideological religious beliefs’ am I referring to?

Ah, come off it, you have to know by now, surely?

Here’s a list of the religious tenants of leftist cultural texts. Please let me know if I have missed out a few, as I’m 100% sure that I have:

White men are bad.
We need less white men in positions of power.
Christians are bad.
Christians are dumb.
Richard Dawkins can prove that there is no God.
Atheists are smart.
Be a smart atheist.
All religions are pretty much the same.
Islam is a religion of peace.
Capitalism is evil and unfair.
Girls are the future.
Men are the past.
Feminism is about equal rights for women.
MGTOW is for basement dwelling losers.
Islamic women are not as oppressed as western women.
Mass immigration (to the west only) is a great idea.
Anarchy is violence.
Statism is normal.
Taxation is justified.
Firearms are for agents of the state only, not citizens.
Democracy means freedom.
Black people in western countries are victims of ‘institutional’ racism.
Cops kill black people because cops are racists.
You can only be a racist if you are white.
The KKK are still a big deal in 2016.
Islam is a religion of peace.
The west is evil.
Single mum's are great at bringing up children.
Children do not need a strong and stable father.
Abortion is not child murder.
There is a 'rape culture' in the west.
Women are paid less than men for the same work.
Pro choice is pro woman.
Pro life is anti woman.
Divorce should be as easy as possible.
History is an indictment of western civilisation as a whole.
The only ‘pride’ will be black or rainbow coloured, talking of which.
Homosexuals are brave.
Don’t you dare say a bloody word, bigot.
Multiculturalism works.
Old racists voted for UK Brexit.
UKIP are racist.
Nation states are the past.
We are all globalists now.
Welcome to the New World Order of tolerance, diversity, respect and weekly ISLAMIC terrorist atrocities.
Nationalism is the enemy.
Right wing people are evil.
Socialism will work, eventually.
Don’t mention socialist democide numbers.
You are not a ‘Home Grown Demagogue’ are you?

That last one is the latest piece of political rhetoric from drone bomber Obama. I give him credit for that one, and yes, I know he probably didn’t come up with it himself, just like he didn’t write his own book, but he said it, and it encapsulates everything about the new establishment liberal elite. That clever little phrase merges two images, the (home grown) terrorist, and the demonic, dangerous, deceptive, manipulative, lying hate speaker. It puts into your mind’s eye the image of a ranting, white, male, right-wing, dangerous, deceiving dictator, and who is this all aimed at?

Feeling guilty?

Yeah, it’s Donald Trump, the man who is a ‘racist’ because he wants to help America become just as successful as the multi-billion dollar companies that he’s founded throughout his ridiculous high-achieving life. Of course it’s Donald Trump who is the big threat in the world today, not all of the tolerant liberals who have created the screwed up tinder-box that it currently is, and that brings me to this ‘review’ of Macbeth in the Globe Theatre, London 27th July 2016.

In the first half of the play, during a light moment of audience interaction, Donald Trump is compared to Satan, and the audience love it, whooping their support like the good little mainstream (Goldman Sachs) liberals that they are.

In this age of liberal domination of the arts and culture industry, everybody who disagrees with the left is considered to be evil beyond belief.

CONFORM<Nazi Hitler KKK Trump Scum>CONFORM

If you do not agree with progressive ideological mainstream consensus you are evil, you are a racist, you are a danger to all of humanity and you must be ridiculed, isolated, mocked, scorned and (preferably) shut up and immediately arrested.

I did not like the new Ghost Busters movie.

THAT’S HATE SPEECH

Of course it is, because if you disagree with the liberal elite’s you are a hater, you are Trump, you are a Nazi, you are Hitler, always bloody Hitler, never Stalin or Mao, always bloody Hitler, because socialist dictator Hitler is far worse than socialist dictator Stalin. Bloody leftists, you are driving me nuts with your faux-intellectualism and government worship imbecility.

Oh duck it, the far-too-long perambulation to this 'review' is boring me now.

Let’s get this on, here we go:

During this day-time performance of Macbeth I was accompanied by two highly irritating guests, the first being a persistent helicopter that continued to fly noisily over the theatre and the second being an intense heat-wave that threatened to melt my body like a wax candle in a furnace.

Obey, don't be a bigot, don't give in to hate.

The staff of the Globe theatre gave out free paper hats that offered perfunctory protection from the fiery ball in the sky, but it really was brutally relentless, and distracted enormously throughout the entire length of the play. How can I concentrate when my entire body feels like it is being subjected to radioactive blasts of sun fire?

The Helicopter, repeatedly flying over the theatre, and drowning out large sections of vital dialogue, was a factor outside of the Globe Theatre’s control, well not unless one of the liberals ‘moderate rebel’ friends from Syria used an Obama supplied RPG on it, but that’s another rant for another time.

What they (the actors) could, and should have done, was to moderate their performance. It would have been easy. All they had to do was to wait for the helicopter to pass by, improvise, act, use facials, do what you have to do in order buy some time, and then deliver the lines when they could be easily heard by the audience.

The actors choose not to do this, and talked (even in the quiet bits) with the noisy helicopter buzzing over the theatre, thus completely obliterating every other word that was being said.

This was my first experience of Macbeth, but even though I hadn’t seen the play before I had studied it in preparation and understood the basics of the plot, the characters, themes, etc. It didn’t appear to be too complicated a story, so I was expecting it all to be a smooth ride, however, early on, with the twin annoyances of the heat and the helicopter, I was struggling to follow what was going on. At the time I assumed it to be the outside factors, but in hindsight this wasn’t just an issue with the heat and helicopter, there were other problems that were stopping me from becoming fully immersed in the play.

Why were there four witches/weird sisters? Wasn’t there supposed to be three?

Why was there a little boy on the stage? I didn’t read anything about the Macbeth’s having a son in the sparknotes synopsis. What’s going on? Why is he there?

It took me a while to work out who was playing the character of MacDuff. I knew he was important, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out who was who. For a while I thought he was the female actress who was strangely and confusingly cast as a man. Do the characters in the play not see that this ‘man’ is a very obvious lady putting on an unconvincing ‘manly’ voice? Are they all idiots? What is going on? Is this a Shakespeare thing? It confused me. Why not just have men playing the roles of men and women in the roles of women? It would certainly make things easier to understand, wouldn’t it?

Thinking back to the play now, as I write this already far too long review, I feel a sense of bewilderment, of seeing if from the outside, as a play, of never getting lost in it because of the confused nature of it’s staging. Why did the director have to be so awkward and make it so difficult for the audience to get into that suspension of disbelief mindset that you get from all good theatre, heck, even a decent pro wrestling match? That can’t be a deliberate thing, can it?

Heatwave.

My mind, already scrambling for sanctuary from the heat, started to go into complete meltdown as the play unfolded. I feel myself going back to the experience now, there I am sitting, why did I wear trousers? It’s too hot for trousers, and now I’m standing, in the yard, and I’m peering around heads, looking at the stage, and the confused disconnection within my head is just growing and growing. I want to dive in, to experience it as real, to lose myself, but it’s not possible, it’s not possible:

Why are the witches singing their prophecies to Macbeth rather than speaking clearly to him?  I can’t understand what they are saying. Was that something about his death? Dunno. I can’t quite make it out. Such a nice voice, but the words are being lost here.

Oh, here comes the helicopter again.

BUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

What was that? Was it something about a forest? I think, err, you what? Oh, okay, next bit now.

Oh, here comes Macbeth again, and he’s spitting phlegm all over the people standing at the front of the stalls, and he has blood all over his hands because he’s murdered the king, and he’s moaning to his wife because he feels bad about it.

Macbeth, you are a twat, please wash your hands, stop spitting and shouting, and go away.

Oh, and Lady Macbeth, she’s supposed to be a big deal, right? So why is she so blah, a stay at home/bored wife who keeps grabbing a less than aroused Macbeth as he moans and complains about his workday/career problems like a stressed out call centre manager. Nah, I’m not getting much interest out of her, or him, or their relationship. I neither like nor care about either of them. Oh, there’s the boy on stage again. Does she know him? Why is she ignoring him and why is the kid never mentioned in any of her dialogue?

I’m really confused now.

Awesome venue

Weak man, crappy nag of a rich housewife, a random boy who is never referenced in anything that either of the boring couple says, sod em both. Oh, is the boy supposed to be a ghost? I guess not, the boy is seen by all, they actually sit and play with him occasionally, it’s just not referred to. It’s a thing, but not a thing. This is jolting. It doesn’t work. It’s massively distracting and confusing. I’m detecting an unwise director’s meddling here.

Who are the heroes in the play? Oh, a wet guy and a sombre faced bloke who deserts his wife and kids, then goes overly melodramatic on hearing about their inevitable murder. So, a couple of weak, wet twats are the heroes, and we are supposed to care as they battle for power against evil/weak Macbeth and his nagging, comedy sleep walking bored rich housewife?

That can’t be right, can it?

Sucks.

Oh man, here comes the helicopter again.

BUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

HEAT HEAT HEAT

Goddamn it. I need shade, badly. Hang on, something about this all meaning nothing, that was a good line. Macbeth just shouted again and spat it out there, so all of this signifies nothing, means nothing, just noise and people clowning around playing roles, then?

I agree with that, especially in this context, nice one William.

Man, it’s hot, even in the shade, and I still can’t work out what that cute little kid is doing on stage. Do his parents know he’s up there? He doesn’t appear to have anything to do with the play. Perhaps one of the actors couldn’t get a babysitter for the afternoon?

BUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Let's dance???

Sword fight prance, pretend stab, no realism here, be safe, health and safety mate, death off stage (boring) new wet king, err…..

Is that it?

Nope, the little boy has nicked the crown and now he’s sitting on the throne, and the audience is going ‘Ahhhh’ like it’s all very nice and cute. Oh, the wet bloke has noticed that there’s a little kid taking his place on the throne. He’s going to be angry and passionate for the first time in the play, oh, nope. He shrugs in indifference and doesn’t appear to care. Who is that boy again? Oh yeah, it was never explained, he’s just there, and now it looks like this is the end. Oh, umm, thanks for that new addition then.

Oh, this is odd. They are having a bit of a happy dance now, and all of the deceased characters are back, including the crappy Macbeth couple. Dance, dance, dance, yay, the crowd’s clapping like puppets on a string of Goldman Sachs’ sponsored liberal conformity, and all of this was meaningless.

Thank you for coming. Happy clappy, happy clappy, happy clappy, big smiles, and bow:

HUGE APPLAUSE FROM THE CROWD

And that was Macbeth on a very hot day in 2016, with a helicopter and lost child walking about on stage.

You’ll be pleased to read that my review is finally coming to it’s tragic, though certainly not mourned, end. It took up far too much of my time, and yours, so If you read it all the way to the end, first off, sorry, and secondly, as a final reward, a point will now be made. My review made a big old song and dance about not a lot, and it wasn’t really a review, but to the point, and it does have one, that should be very clear:

Please be kind, be nice, applaud and give me a three star rating for this review. I know it wasn’t very good, but I tried really, really hard. Okay, yes, I know that it really was very bad, and I’m being 100% honest with you now friend, buddy, old mate of mine. Yes, yes, yes, my review kind of sucks major elephant balls, but please, remember, I tried really, really hard, so please be nice. Look deeply into all of these words, there’s lots of them after all, and please see something that is not there. It could be there, if you want it to be. Take a hint, a reference, something, anything you like. It’s all yours now, just do the work yourself, take the formless jumbled up mass of letter, word, sentence, paragraph, whole, and bequeath upon me some faint praise for the sweaty sunburnt efforts of a man who used to, but no longer wastes his time writing long, pompous, pointless reviews.

Life

Reviews

Macbeth 27th July 2016

“Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”