Comic review: Ant-Man #3- Be a Man, not an Ant-Man

Writer: Nick Spencer
Artist: Ramon Rosanas
Cover artist: Mark Brooks
Publisher: Marvel (Disney) Comics
Released: 11th March 2015

I only bought this book for the cool looking front cover. As for the inside story, I already knew what I would be getting.

I read issue #1 of Ant-man, so I knew that the story was going to be about an emasculated loser getting bossed around by his ex-wife. I knew that the dialogue was going to be soft, cosy, and full of quips with self-deprecating interior monologues from the titular dork. I knew that everything would be treated like a joke, that nothing would feel real, and that there would be no dealing with any of the issues that I always talk about on my blog.

I knew all of this before buying the book, so I’m not going to complain about it here, well not very much. Ant-Man, as written by Nick Spencer, is a very modern feminist liberal apology of a man. He exists to be bossed around by alpha females, and is domesticated, pathetic, desperate, lonely and weak. In other words, he's the perfect embodiment of the modern man in 2015, as programmed by the new world order friendly corporate whore mainstream media. Hey comic book fans; here's a depressing truth-

THIS GUY IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOU. 

Don’t be Ant-Man kids. Self deprecating jokes and getting bossed around by women doesn’t make you a nice guy. It makes you a loser, the kind of guy who women secretly despise. Ant-Man is the kind of guy who cries himself to sleep (alone) every night as he ties himself in feminist liberal knots trying to understand why all of the ‘jerks’ get the girls, and all he gets for his ‘niceness’ is friendship zoned.

Don’t be that guy. Be a man, not an Ant-Man.

I didn’t like the artwork in this book. It was flat, the colours were dull and it lacked detail. The narrative structure was very good, but the story didn’t interest me, and it wasn’t saying anything about the world that I live in.

Ant-Man #3 has a great front cover by Mark Brooks, but the story inside ‘features’ an emasculated comic book reader type as the protagonist. The story is about him trying to keep out of trouble with his ex-wife, lest she takes his daughter away from him for good. That’s a bit depressing really, seeing a ‘superhero’ going through the same crap that men have to put up with in the real world, dominated as it is with female friendly courts and a man-hating culture that is deliberately trying to emasculate men.

I bought this book only for the cover, so I’m not angry about it. That cover is great, and it’s going up on my wall, but the rest of the comic is pretty useless to me, other than to use it as an example of mainstream anti-male propaganda that unfortunately contaminates contemporary comic books today.

Rating: 4/10 (Great cover, interior story is well structured, but Ant-Man is no hero to me)

Comic book review: Green Lantern #38- Emasculated chump hangs out in friendship zone

Writer: Robert Venditti
Artist: Admira Wijaya
Publisher: DC Comics
Released: 7th January 2015

What’s going on in my mainstream superhero comic books this week? Why are the so-called ‘heroes’ being portrayed as emasculated losers who have no lives, no friends and no girlfriends?

Who wants to read this depressing crap about loser superheroes? Oh yeah, comic book fans.

Drink up losers

After reading about the suicide inducing no-life of Ant Man the next book I picked up this week was about the equally depressing loser life of Green Lantern.

Unlike poor old Ant Man at least Hal Jordan has a job, but at the beginning of this book he’s told to sod off, so he does, straight to a bar.

He spends the rest of issue #38 drinking, hanging out with his childish loser mates, and concluding his non-adventures with a humiliating conversation with an ex-girlfriend who rejects him, gives him a pity kiss peck on the cheek, then buggers off to have fun with her new boyfriend.

What the hell was that supposed to be?

Am I supposed to identify with this loser because I am a comic book fan and therefore a loser myself? That’s the conclusion I took from Ant Man #1, and I’m getting exactly the same vibe with this one.

Guess what? I don’t relate to put upon, unemployed single fathers and dumped boyfriends drinking dejectedly in a bar. Perhaps I’m weird? Perhaps I’m not a big enough loser to read comic books these days? Perhaps I need to go back out into the world and experience more humiliation and rejection before I can relate to these books? I better buy myself some new sensible clubbing shoes, because at the moment I feel like I don't belong in this depressing club for rejected, lonely, pathetic, emasculated, humiliated men.

Goddamn it, what’s up with my comic books this week? I don’t want to read about losers. I just don’t, and so another book gets a much deserved low rating from this thoroughly pissed off reviewer. Perhaps I'm wrong? Perhaps I need to change my ways? I'll finish this review here as I need to go the shops. I have some sensible shoes that I need to buy.

Rating: 2/10 (for that ridiculous alternative front cover)