Theatre review: The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes- Atheist Picnic at Lydiard Park

Event: Open Air Garden Theatre
Venue: Lydiard Park, Swindon, Wiltshire, UK.
Date of Performance: Friday 31st July 2015
Performers: Chapterhouse Theatre
Website: 
http://www.chapterhouse.org/show5.html
Writer: Laura Turner
Director: Phillip Stevens


The ideology underpinning this quaint, twee and inoffensively anachronistic play in the park was that ‘progress’ means the abandoning of religion, and that we need to boldly stride into a new world order of humanism, abandoning religion to the dustbin of history where it rightfully belongs.

This disregarding of religion (mainly Christianity) is ubiquitous today, especially in the UK, and especially on the BBC, so it’s no surprise to see that the writer of this play already has BBC writing credits under her belt. Her atheistic ways will fit in very nicely at Jimmy Saville towers, so I wish her all the best. I’m sure that she’ll do very well for herself writing liberally deluded multicultural fantasy plots for EastEnders, or the latest murder or hospital shows where politically correct multiculturalism is forced onto the BBC audience of wilfully ignorant, corporate indoctrinated statists.

I have no doubt whatsoever that this cultural ideology of Godlessness will have been barely noticed by the majority of the audience in Lydiard Park on Friday night 31st July 2015.  I’m equally as sure that the writer herself wouldn’t have noticed it. Why would she? God is silly, right? God is for children, right? God doesn’t exist, right? That’s not a radical point of view in suburban households in the UK of 2015, it’s the majority view, accepted like gravity or the idea that democracy, bombs and taxes equates to freedom.

Laura Turner, the nice lady who wrote this play (and I’m sure that she’s very nice) has written a simple play about Sherlock Holmes, and her main concerns will be about entertainment and clarity, not ideology. Her ideological underpinning of atheism is a cultural assumption. It’s how she thinks, and it’s how she has been taught to think. This indoctrinated, programmed version of reality informs her writing and subconsciously assumes that her audience will share the same cultural, atheistic programming as herself.

If you are taught as a child that God doesn’t exist, then that must mean that he doesn’t exist. It’s not something that you think about, it’s just taken as a given. That’s probably as far as Laura’s thinking goes. God doesn’t exist, of course he doesn’t. Would my teachers and television lie to me? Of course not, and so onto my career as a writer.

I assume that Laura won’t have thought very long and hard about the atheism in her play. Like I said before, it’s a cultural assumption, and all it says to me about the writer is that she was brought up in a UK middle class suburban household, watched television, and went to school, that’s all. I could be wrong, but that’s all I get from her writing.

In ‘The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes’ her intention would have been to construct a light-hearted, fun, slightly silly, enjoyable play that would be easily understood by an outdoor audience watching it in a park.

In that sense, she did a fine job. The plot was silly, and easy to follow and inoffensive. The bloke playing Holmes (Matthew Christmas) was suitably eccentric (in a BBC Doctor Who kind of way) and I enjoyed my Ginger Beer as all of the nice, middle class atheists around me drank their wine and rustled for crisps in their picnic hampers. The play was the backdrop to the evening. It rumbled on, serenely, in the background, lots of wine was consumed, and everybody enjoyed a lovely, early evening picnic in Lydiard Park.

My lasting memories of the evening will be of concentrating really hard to hear the dialogue, trying to work out who the villain was, and being slightly shocked, but not that surprised when the ideology of the play became apparent as it began to wrap up. The play was okay. It was very middle class, BBC atheist, tame and polite. It was a mainstream play for people who watch television and think that religion is something for museums, not everyday life.

I didn’t hate it, but that’s probably because I’m not a religious man. If I were a regular churchgoer then I’d probably be quite offended, but that’s the mainstream in the UK today. The mainstream has abandoned Christianity and abandoned tradition. I’m old. I notice these things. It happened slowly, but it’s the norm now. Jesus might be alive, but there’s little sign of him in the UK of 2015. The people have turned to humanism. God no longer exists. The people are their own gods now. Does that sound dangerous to you? I am living in a society that has rejected God. That can’t be good, can it? What do you think about it? Seriously, I want to know.


Rating: 6/10 (Easy to follow, silly, fun, but it has an ideological underpinning that left me feeling cold)

Review: ‘The Merchant of Venice’ at the Globe Theatre London: April 24th 2015

The Merchant of Venice
Written by: William Shakespare
Directed by: Jonathan Munby

CAST (MAIN)

Bassanio: Daniel Lapaine
Antonio: Dominic Mafham
Portia: Rachel Pickup
Shylock: Jonathan Pryce

Dates of Performances: 23 April - 7 June 2015

Venue: Globe Theatre, London

Website (for tickets and more info):
http://www.shakespearesglobe.com/theatre/whats-on/globe-theatre/the-merchant-of-venice-2015



I always hated Shakespeare. It was hard, boring, far too dense and about as much fun as a science or maths class. As a school-kid it was just another waste of my time, something I had to suffer through before a lunch time kick about or skive in the local village.

A song and a dance

Yeah, Shakespeare really sucked to me as a kid, and sitting there in class trying to correctly pronounce all of those old words that nobody I knew ever used was a completely joyless experience. By the time I left school at the age of sixteen years old I was glad that I would no longer have to suffer through any more classes of his hard to understand and completely fun free books.

I wasn’t that unusual as a kid. We all hated Shakespeare, the boring old git, and that was that. Fast forward twenty six years in the future though and here I am, standing in the ‘Yard’ of the Globe Theatre in London. What am I doing here? Is it a new job, or something I have to suffer through to pay the bills? No, I chose to go there, to give it a chance, and what I am experiencing is nothing whatsoever like what I had to suffer through as a kid.

This play, ‘The Merchant of Venice,’ is a bit good, the actors are amazing and it’s not even difficult to follow what is going on. It’s fun, it’s entertaining and I’m enjoying every second of it. Shakespeare isn’t supposed to be fun, is it? I’m watching this boring old Shakespeare play, and laughing at the funny bits, becoming completely involved with the serious bits, and having the best theatre experience of my entire life.

Love is in the air

What happened to me? Shakespeare was supposed to suck, but he didn’t. His play was pretty bloody good, funny, and it was saying things that people are scared to say today. We are talking about the J word here, yeah the play was about Jews, or one Jew in particular, a money lender, a man called ‘Shylock’ who was so full of anger and hate caused by the way he had been treated by good Christian folk, that he was prepared to cut a pound of flesh from the breast of a man rather than collect the huge sum of money that was owed to him. This Shylock was even prepared to do it himself, showing what a heartless, brutal character he really was, sharpening his knife and sorting out his scales, just to make sure he did a really proficient job of it.

Would you want to cut out a man's flesh in this manner, and do it with a little knife and then carefully place it on some scales? Would you even be capable of doing something as brutal as that? I wouldn’t, and wouldn’t this pound of flesh thing also kill the man? And why was the man strung up like he was being prepared for a crucifixion? What was that about?

Ahhh, I get it now. This wasn’t about revenge or anything like that, it was about mercy and how the Jewish people showed none to Jesus Christ, allowing him to be crucified, instead choosing to free a murderer called Barabas. So what this play (written in about 1596) was doing was giving the Jewish people another chance, another shot at showing mercy to a defenceless Christian.

Shylock is determined to have his pound of flesh

So when Shylock refuses, and insists on his pound of flesh, what is that saying? It’s saying that Jewish people are incapable of showing mercy, of forgiveness, of the very quality that defines the entire teachings of Christian morality. The only way that the character of Shylock can be redeemed is for him to be forcibly converted to Christianity and to renounce his Jewish faith.

It’s strong stuff isn’t it? Would you get away with saying something like that today? No chance mate, no chance at all, the accusations of anti-Semitism would bury your play before it even got through the first couple of performances, but because it’s ‘Shakespeare’ it can be put on in 2015 and nobody is going to say a word about it.

Amazing.

A play written in 1596 is more controversial than anything that I will see on television, screen or theatre in 2015. It says a lot, don’t you think?

I was standing there in the ‘Yard’, having paid a measly £5 to get in, and was in absolute awe. Not just because the play was far more controversial than I thought it would be, but because of the performances by a ridiculously talented cast, and the audiences reaction to it all as well. This was red-hot theatre, performed before an enraptured, packed audience, and I was being swept away to another era, a time when Shakespeare was alive, and this was the best show in town.

Shylock and his traitorous daughter

What am I saying? There’s a time portal at the Globe, and the best performance in town is simultaneously occurring in the 1600’s and in 2015 as well. The Merchant of Venice is the best show in town, of course it is, it always was, and it still is today.

Dominic Mafham, as Antonio, was exceptional. The melancholy of his character as written in the previews I had read before the play appeared to be self-indulgent and weak, but to see him brought to life by this fantastic actor was quite a revelation to me. I left the theatre feeling more intrigued about what was going to happen to that one character alone than any of the other characters in the play. His melancholy had substance, and the performance by Mafham nailed that substance, creating a person where before I had only read a character in a play.

Jonathan Pryce, as the villainous Shylock, was unbelievable. Like every great performer he bristled with charisma, with presence, with electricity, and when he was on stage it was almost impossible to train your eyes away from him, even when all of the dialogue was coming from the other characters. His mannerisms, his facial tics, his anguish, his pain, his need for revenge, his frustration, his joys at the misfortunes of others, the body language, the gestures. Oh my God, this guy was ridiculous. Jonathan Pryce was beyond exceptional, a man at the top of his game giving a performance directly in front of me that I could scarcely believe I was witnessing.

The spellbounding Jonathan Pryce as Shylock

If you are going to London, or if you live in London, or live anywhere near London, then you need to go to London NOW.

Forget your school day classrooms where bored English teachers slowly killed Shakespeare, line by painful line, and go to the Globe theatre and see it performed as it supposed to be performed.

The Merchant of Venice runs until 7th June, so see this wonderfully performed play if you can, but if you can’t get there for then check the schedules and go to see another play instead.

Any play will do, just get there for the early evening performance, pay your £5, stand in the yard, get aching feet, get close to the stage and experience Shakespeare as it’s meant to be experienced.

I always hated Shakespeare, but not now. The Merchant of Venice in 2015 is the best show in town. Controversial, funny, electric, and full of powerhouse performances by world class performers. If you just want to boil it all down, take away the history, the snobbery, the reputations and all of the baggage, what it really is, is a wonderful night’s entertainment at the theatre.

Banish those painful memories of old school English classes and reading dusty old books that you didn’t understand or give a toss about. See Shakespeare in the flesh, see it at the Globe, and then you’ll finally begin to understand just what all the fuss has been about.

Rating: 10/10 (A controversial, funny, intense play that features ridiculously accomplished performers)

Theatre review: Shady Business (Swindon Arts centre)- A jaw achingly funny show

Theatre Company: The Western Players
Writer: Robin Hawdon
Location: The Arts Centre, Old Town, Swindon, Wilts
Date of Performance: Wednesday 11th March 2015
Future performances: Thursday 12th March, Friday 13th March and Saturday 14th March 2015
Click link for ticket information:
https://swindontheatres.co.uk/Online/default.asp?doWork::WScontent::loadArticle=Load&BOparam::WScontent::loadArticle::article_id=E4AAB139-C653-4641-A2BC-5CF400E410A4


Shady Business was so funny, so silly, so daft and so bewilderingly ridiculous that it left me with severe jaw ache by the end of the show.

I can’t even remember the last time that something made me laugh so much that my jaw hurt, but that’s what happened to me tonight. I wasn’t expecting this play to be so funny, so I guess it caught me unawares, and my poor old jaw still hasn’t quite recovered.

I’m not even going to discuss the plot, the acting, the scenery or anything else about this play. All I’m going to do is offer a warning.

That warning is for anybody who intends to see the show in the next three days, and here it is. Before the show begins you need to do some serious jaw exercises in preparation for what you are going to see.

I’m not messing around here. This is a serious warning. If you are going to see this show then you need to properly prepare yourself. Much like the beginning of strenuous exercise you need to prepare your body properly for the experience, but rather than stretching your calves and hamstrings it’s your jaw muscles that need to be properly prepared.

Here’s my expert advice- Open your mouth as wide as it can go, then relax, open again, and repeat. Then scrunch to the left, scrunch to the right and relax. By repeating these exercises shortly before the beginning of the show your jaw should be properly warmed up and ready for action. Do this (and don’t forget to repeat the exercises during the mid-show interval as well) and you should be okay, but ignore my warning and expect severe jaw ache by the end of the show.

You might be thinking that this is a bit of a strange review, and you would be absolutely correct in thinking that way because this isn’t a review at all. No, this is actually a public service warning to anybody who intends to see Shady Business in the Swindon Arts Centre over the next three days. I feel it’s my duty to put out this warning, because boy my jaw hurts now, and I’d hate to see anybody else make the same mistake that I made.


Rating: 10/10 (A very funny, very enjoyable show)

Theatre review: Journey’s End- The never-ending futility of war

Written by: R. C. Sherriff
Performed by: The Western Players
Performance Date: 5th November 2014
Venue: The Arts Centre, Old Town, Swindon
Future Performances: 6th 7th and 8th November, at the same venue.
For tickets: 
http://www.skiddle.com/whats-on/Swindon/Arts-Centre/Journeys-End-by-R-C-Sherrif-presented-by-the-Western-Players/12205152/

https://www.wegottickets.com/location/7108


I’ve just spent the evening at the theatre watching a play that explores the utter futility of war. The play was first performed in 1929, and it had me thinking. What has really changed in all of these years, in all of these decades of movies and theatre performances, and poems, and paintings, and songs about the futility of war?

What has really changed? Modern warfare is different. Young men no longer kill each other in trenches. Today the young men kill each other from a distance, with high tech weaponry, a missile or a drone. But are the dead any less dead? Are the orders not followed just the same? What has changed?

As I travelled back home I passed Bus shelters with advertisements for the latest video game. A game called ‘Call of Duty,’ a game of war where the young are taught to kill on a computer console. It’s a game. It’s not real. Just like a drone flying over a Pakistani village. Shoot, kill, get medal, complete level, follow orders, you are a hero now. What has changed?

Following orders, the biggest problem that humanity still faces

Journey’s End elicits these emotions. It makes you question, makes you ponder on the futility of endlessly following orders from those in positions of ‘authority.’ What would happen if the young men said No? What would happen if humanity as a whole refused to kill each other, for the rich, for the country, for the corporation, for the medals, for the banks, for the oil companies?

There was a heavy scent of authenticity about the entire performance of Journey's End, an aroma that wafted through the excellent set, the muddy boots, the ringing wet socks, the cigarette smoke, the unwashed bodies, the sweat and grime of waiting to die in a military uniform.

The performances increased in intensity as the play progressed. This was the opening night of the show, and the confidence of the cast increased and increased, rising at a crescendo until the very final scene, a scene that wiped away all recollection of Private Baldrick and his Rat au Van. Instead you are left with a sense of deep sadness that these funny, complicated, tormented, decent men died because they were told to die, and being honest patriotic chaps, they felt it was their duty to do so.

Four members of the excellent cast

As the play concludes The Western Players leave the audience in a state of numbness, of shock. There were jokes during the play, but none at the end. The shadows of Blackadder, Ronnie Barker and Allo Allo loomed, but the emptiness of following orders shone through as the final curtain dropped.

It’s so sad, and more so in the knowledge that this order following mindset continues today. No, we don’t have the draft, but what we do have instead is a dearth of opportunities for the young, working class men living in this country today.

In the Swindon town army recruitment centre window there is a list. A list of how much you will be paid if you put on a uniform and go to die in Afghanistan, or Iraq, or Libya, or Syria. Iran next? Probably. The pay is very, very good. Far better than what you would get working in a warehouse or at Tesco’s. So no, there is no draft today. That has changed. Instead there is the money, the possibility of getting out of unemployment, out of hopelessness, out of drug addiction, petty crime and prison. It is poison laden bait, and sadly enough, far too many of our young men take it.

Journey’s End is an excellent play, performed at a very high standard by the Western Players. So much has already been said about the futility of war, but this play is far from derivative. Instead, it is funny, sad, and agonising in it poignancy, but the final emotion it tears from me is pure, hot anger. Yes, anger. It made me feel tremendous anger that the wars of yesterday are not so different from the wars of today. Things have changed, but they remain the same. Lessons are unlearnt, and the business of war continues as usual.

Rating: 9/10

Theatre Review: ‘Nightmare’ by the Western Players- Swindon Art’s Centre- 19th June 2014

‘Nightmare’- A suspense play by Norman Robbins.
Performed by: The Western Players.
Cast: Karen Evans, Sarah Cousens, Tony Manders, Matt King, David Cousens, Annie Harvey, Helen Pain and Mark O’Donnel.
Produced by: Stuart Jackson.
Performance Date: Thursday 19th June 2014
Location: The Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Old Town, Swindon.
Website: http://www.westernplayers.co.uk/comingsoon.htm


It’s the undetermined, unpredictable nature of professional sports that is supposedly the lure for those watching it, but when it comes to the England football team usual rules do not apply. You know exactly what is going to happen, every single time. The fans are going to get their hopes up, the players are going to sound upbeat and positive, stating that this time it’s going to be different, and then the actual match happens and they do what they always do. They slip on a banana skin, fall spectacularly on their face and then spend the next few weeks moaning about how unlucky they were.

So when there was a choice between watching a new play, ‘Nightmare’ by the Western Players, and the latest England team world cup debacle, there was no choice at all. The play won hands down. I would laugh at the prank falls performed by the England comedy football team later on, learning that they had once again shot themselves in the foot, just like they always do. Some things never change, but on to the play.

I went into this play completely cold, as I always do. That’s how I get the most out of both theatre and film. To go in there with only the broadest of outlines on what I am going to watch, then sit down and let the experience take me where it may. All I knew was that it was a ‘suspense play,’ and that it was to be performed by a group called ‘The Western Players.’ I had no prior knowledge about the plot, themes or setting, so when things happened before me I could enjoy them as something completely brand new, and enjoy them as such.

The performance opened with a simple staging of a comfortable, yet slightly dated living room, and the set did not change throughout the entire duration of the play. There were some sound effects, but that was all. All of the drama unfolds within that one setting, and without spoilers, that seemingly inconsequential factor will play a huge role in later events.

There were seven performers in the play, with some better than the others, but all performers were clear and precise in the delivery of their lines. There was no mumbling, and no confusion about what was being said. As an audience member I always knew what was going on, and how the plot was progressing. It’s difficult to pinpoint my favourite performer, but special mention must be made to Sarah Cousens and her portrayal of a kind-hearted character who is both devastated and confused by unfolding events, and Karen Evans in her audience favourite portrayal of the local town gossip.

This however is an ensemble piece where all performers are needed to service the plot of misdirection, false leads and surprises. It’s one of those plays where you think you know what is about to unfold, but are then delighted to find out that you have been just as confused about events as some of the characters themselves.

The key to a play such as this is clarity. You have to know exactly what is happening to fully enjoy events as they unfold. ‘Nightmare’ is performed with perfect clarity, and the plot has an easy, enjoyable simplicity about its execution. There is no sense of ‘missing the clue’, and there is a delightful moment at the conclusion of the play when the audience realises exactly what has happened, and all of the consequences that this now entails.

‘Nightmare’ by the Western Players is a wonderful play that I have no hesitation in recommending. It’s a play of misdirection with a delightfully shocking denouement that will have you leaving the theatre very much satisfied with what you have just experienced.  I’ll conclude this review by stating the obvious, that my decision to miss the all-too predictable football match and watch a far less predictable, and far more enjoyable play in the Swindon Art’s Centre was a very good decision indeed. Rating: 8/10

Theatre Review: The Ballad of Martha Brown (Swindon Arts Centre 19th May 2014)

I didn’t plan to visit the theatre this Monday night, but after seeing the recent performance of ‘The Ballad of Martha Brown’ I’m certainly glad that I managed to find myself there, sitting with a small, almost conspiratorial group of lucky Swindonians. This show was great, so why did it seem like it was some kind of secret that was only to be shared with the initiated few? Well call me a whistleblower if you like, but I have to talk about it. I have to tell the world that this is a great show, and as it tours the country over the next few months, you need to go out of your way to hunt it down for yourself. Why? Because it’s good, bloody good, and a lot more fun than staying indoors in front of the lying box watching panicked politicians and political pundits cry, ‘Racist Racist Racist’ in an effort to stop the sleeping masses from voting for UKIP this coming Thursday.

A few details about the play: Martha Brown was a real life person, a woman who murdered her abusive husband by burying a hatchet in his head (seven times) in 1856. She was the last person to be publicly executed in Dorset, and this play tells the tale of her extremely interesting life story. It’s told by Martha Brown herself, with a Greek Chorus style foursome of singing, mocking ghouls assisting Martha by acting out the roles played by the different people in her life.

As you enter the theatre you are personally escorted to your seats by the ghouls who cheerfully ask, ‘Are you here for the hanging?’ before playfully engaging in atmosphere setting banter and playfulness that sets the scene for what is to follow. During the evening the ghouls blur the boundary between stage and auditorium by interacting with the audience. This is a lot of fun, keeping you off balance at all times and ensuring you feel engaged with the show that is unfolding. It’s a far more enjoyable experience than the passive assembly line feeling you often get at your local cineplex.

The story that unfolds during the evening is engrossing, entertaining and also very amusing. It’s wonderfully performed by a high-energy cast who bound from audience to stage with wonderfully infectious enthusiasm, and a playfully over the top Halloween style macabre sense of humour. The performance features musical numbers, props and other wonderfully inventive little touches that delight throughout the evening. They are tightly produced, well timed and add an element of top-notch professionalism to the performance.

I’d recommend the show as a good night out spent with a highly competent cast of professional entertainers. It’s far more fun than watching that stupid box flickering away in the corner of your living room, so what are you waiting for? This wonderful production by Angel Exit Theatre is dancing its merry little way around the country right now. If you are worried about the cost, then don’t. The tickets are priced in the same range as a stupid action flick at the dehumanising and impersonal local Cineplex, so don’t worry about that. You’ll have a lot more fun here than your local cinema and you’ll get to learn all about the history of public executions in the UK as well. Remember, when you enter the theatre you are not an audience member, you are part of a baying mob at a public execution of a woman who buried a hatchet in her husbands head. That’s got to be more fun than Eastenders or Transformers 6 hasn’t it? Check it out, you won’t regret it.
Clink on the link here for further info- http://www.angelexit.co.uk/marthabrown.html