Review: We Stand On Guard #1: Guaranteed not to offend

Writer: Brian K. Vaughan
Artist: Steve Skroce
Publisher: Image Comics
Released: 1st July 2015


The previews to this book looked very promising. I picked it up hoping for something controversial, something that would upset people, and something that would go to the dangerous places where other comic books fear to tread.

I’m a bit of a sucker, aren’t I?

Okay, so, first off, ‘We Stand On Guard’ is a masterpiece of political correctness, of how to write a comic book that is guaranteed to offend absolutely nobody. That’s not a criticism, it’s the best thing about the book, how it manages to exist, and be so meek and compliant. If you want to know how to have a career as a comic book writer in these PC times, then this is the book that you’ll want to study, and emulate. It’s more impressive because it has the US as the villains, yet does it in a way that won’t upset Americans, or anybody else in the world.

The book starts with the cliché of the White House being blown up, and then attempts to subvert that cliché through point of view, having a Canadian family look at it on their television, then having the US retaliate by blowing said family up.

I have a few points to make about this opening scene, as it sets the tone for the rest of the book, and no doubt, the entire series. Firstly, when the Canadian family are speculating about who is responsible for blowing up the White House they very noticeable fail to bring up the two obvious suspects- 1: Islamic extremists. 2: Sections of the US intelligence agency apparatus, a false flag, hitting yourself in order to justify foreign wars (see 9/11 for more details).

The book is set in 2112, so I guess that means that all of the problems that we have today with the peaceful, tolerant religion of Islam have disappeared? I guess that also means that the CIA no longer exists, and that false flag attacks no longer happen? It’s either that, or writer Brian K. Vaughan is being very careful, and very mainstream in his writing.

So, if it’s not Islamic extremists or a false flag attack who is responsible for blowing up the White House? Candidates are Algiers (is that the new capital of the Islamic state?), domestic terrorists (again, no religion mentioned) or Canadians?

It’s not exactly a very controversial list, is it? That list alone should tell you everything that you need to know about this comic book. It’s going to be a very careful book, a PC book, a book that will wash over you, and do nothing, because it’s not trying to do anything except shift units, and not offend.

Canada versus America one hundred plus years from now is as safe as you can get. I’m not reading a safe book. I want to read a book that sticks its neck out, and I’m not going to get that here.

Let’s look at the characters. All of the leaders are young women. Men are followers, missing, dead or expendable. On page seven a father dies. His last words are for his son to protect his young daughter. The story shoots forward to the future, and the son is missing, the daughter is looking after herself. She is strong, self-sufficient, independent, young, feisty sexy, and the main point of view protagonist in the book, of course she is, that goes without saying. Rebellion is the sole domain of pretty young girls in contemporary comic books, false rebellion of course, but that’s the only rebellion that exists today in the corporate mainstream.

This generic comic book protagonist pretty young girl is alone for only a couple of pages before she hooks up with a group of Canadian freedom fighters, led by another young female, of course, and you know exactly what you are going to get in this comic book. More feminism, more male/female power dynamics reversed, and more of the neoliberal corporate consensus, dressed up as equality, pushed as the new norm, and if you don’t like it, send in the social justice warriors.

We Stand On Guard #1 is a neoliberal consensus politically correct comic book. If that’s your thing, buy it. It’s not my thing, so I’m one and out on this one. I need more than safe in my comic books today. This comic book is safe, and it doesn’t interest me at all.


Rating: 3/10 (A case study in how not to offend)