Comic review: Conan the Avenger #9- Have a Happy Conan Christmas

Writer: Fred Van Lente
Artist: Brian Ching
Publisher: Dark Horse comics
Released: 24th December 2014


On this cold Christmas morning of 2014 what better way to spend my time than reviewing the latest Conan the Avenger book? Is that a bit sad? Probably, but hey, I’m a comic book reader, so sad is what I am.

Don’t worry, I’ll keep the review short. It’s Christmas day and I have a bucket load of calorie intensive food to eat and bad television to watch, just like everybody else.

So, the book is pretty bloody good. Conan is young in this one. He is scheming, helping an invading army, but with his eyes set not on conquest, but a ‘fabled treasure.’ Throw in some gorgeous blonde sisters for him to rescue and impress and you have a pretty good Conan book.

The one thing that was missing from the book was a devious wizard. Without spoilers, the last panel of this book delivers big time, and it left me punching the air in delight as the final panel reveal unfolded before my delighted, geeky Conan fanboy eyes.

Conan the Avenger #9 is a very welcome addition to the mythos. The art is a bit too cutesy for some, but I like it. Conan has a snarl and youthful arrogance about him, and it’s just as I envision the ambitious, cocky, cunning, yet still learning from practical experience young Conan to be. The narrative can be a little complex, difficult to follow, but a couple of reads clarify the events, and as its such an enjoyable book, reading it two or three times over is pure pleasure anyway.

So, finally to end the review. Have a happy Conan Christmas, now lets eat some food, drink some ale and have a bloody good time.

Rating: 8/10

Comic review: Conan the Avenger #8- Individualism versus corporate collectivism

Writer: Fred Van Lente
Artist: Brian Ching
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Released: 26th November 2014


I always go back to my old Conan comics, reading them again and again to remind myself that comics can be good, if done properly. I need the reassurance every now and then, especially after reading bloody awful, intelligence insulting mainstream comic books that obsess over race, sexuality and gender politics, whilst deliberately ignoring the important issues of our times.

Break down their centres of control

You know what I’m talking about here, right? I’m talking about corporate/banking criminality, endless wars against media generated villains, a lack of political representation for the 99% of ordinary people, unthinking statism and the worship of order following abusers in positions of lawless state authority. These are the pressing concerns of today, not skin colour, race, religion or sexuality. These are the issues that comic books should be addressing. They are not doing so, and you don’t have to be a genius to understand why.

A good Conan comic is about individuality, and standing up for yourself whilst sticking to a strict set of moral codes, punishing the corrupt and being kind to the weak. Conan is not a government agent; he’s not an uniformed enforcer, he’s not an order follower, he’s not a good corporate slave. He would be completely out of place in the Marvel comic book universe of 2014 where order following state slaves are portrayed as heroes and true individual, independent masculine heroes no longer exist. It’s not a ‘conspiracy,’ it’s a corporate thing.

Marvel/Disney is a corporation that relies on consumer slave culture, and so it pumps out consumer slave heroes. It’s only natural for them to do so. They can turn Captain America black, or turn Thor into a woman because that is perfectly allowable within a corporate culture that sees humans not as individuals, but as passive consumers. How do you double your consumers? You get women to buy your crap as well as the men. Marvel doesn’t turn Thor into a woman because it cares about women’s rights. They turn Thor into a woman because they care about female consumers. It’s not about morality. It’s about business. What Marvel cannot do is push stories where the hero is an individual; a man who works outside of the collectivised, government sponsored Avenger/Corporate status quo. Pushing individualism is bad business for a corporation that relies on herd mentality consumer repeaters.

Conan the Avenger #8 is a good old fashioned Conan tale. It’s lacking an element of magic and sorcery at the moment, but it has political intrigue, a gorgeous slave girl for our hero to rescue and a despicable villain who is suppressing the people through threats of violence. It’s what all villains do. Threatening people with order following goons and bureaucrats is at the heart of what government is all about. It’s what your government is doing to you and your family right now. It’s what all governments do, and that’s why we need to get rid of them, all of them.

Conan ends up as King Conan at the end of his life, so he’s not perfect. But he’s always a sad King, a reluctant King who doesn’t really enjoy the position that he has attained. He’s not the power tripping type. He’s melancholic, a bit confused, and a bit in need of a book about anarchy if you ask me, because that’s what all of his adventures are about. They are about fighting against control systems, against kings, governments, wizards and every other kind of scumbag who has set himself up in a big White House on the hill. That’s why I like him, and that’s why he’s my comic book hero.

This particular Conan book is very well drawn, it has some gruesome battle scenes, it has a good villain and it closes on a cliff-hanger where Conan is staring down a wall of archers. Oh no, he looks in trouble this time. How is he going to get out of this one? I like that in my comics. Give me a cliff-hanger, give me a reason to look forward to the next issue, don’t rush things and have some fun with it all.

So far Conan the Avenger is a pretty decent Conan book. Conan is young, he’s not that talkative, he’s taking things in, learning and strategizing as the adventure progresses. It’s good stuff, far better than the cops and government agent crap you get from DC and Marvel. If like myself you get fed up with corporate Police state propaganda then you’ll get a kick out of it. Conan is still Conan in Dark Horse comics. They haven’t turned him into a girl. Not yet anyway.  He’s still fighting against control systems, and he’s still the main man, the number one hero in the comic book world of 2014, just as he was in the 70’s and 80’s and 90’s and 2000’s. All hail King Conan, the melancholic, anarchist hero who doesn’t want to be a King.

Rating: 8/10

Blitz Review: Conan the Avenger #3- Slowly building, terrifically coloured

Writer: Fred Van Lente
Artist: Brian Ching
Colourist: Michael Atiyeh
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Released: 25th June 2014


What a great start to the day, reading a Conan book with political intrigue, gorgeous girls, scheming sorcerers, terrible beasts and Conan the Cimmerian right in the middle of it all.

This took a couple of re-reads, just to clarify in my mind exactly what was going on, and I really appreciated that as the artwork is gorgeous, in particular the dark colouring by Michael Atiyeh, so going back over the book to clarify a few points is an absolute delight.

 It’s been a great week for me, Conan wise. I've read two fantastic Conan books from Dark Horse comics, two books that have completely obliterated any feelings of depression that came from reading a couple of stupid superhero comics. King Conan Conqueror #5 was amazing and now this one. Both are excellent, even though they are very different books.

King Conan Conqueror #5 has a beautiful framing device of an older King Conan telling the tale of how he recovered a precious jewel and reclaimed his kingdom. There is an epic feel to it, and the Conan in the tale itself is a brawny colossus of a man, a man in his prime.

Conan the Avenger has a younger, almost playful and mischievous Conan, though when it comes time for battle he is still very much the Conan that we all know and love. Issue #3 clarifies the meat and potatoes of the story, and at the conclusion of the issue Conan accepts a role that will see him become a major player in the story that is unfolding. No longer is he an outside. He now has an important role, and a man who began the arc drinking alone in a tavern has found himself right in the middle of an internal, political power struggle between warring factions. Throw in some hack and slash action, some sorcery, a big old scary monster and some beautiful girls and you have everything you need for a classic Conan the Barbarian story.

I don’t know why, but I didn’t think that this book would impress me quite as much as it did, especially after reading the excellent King Conan Conquer #5, but this issue impressed me, a lot. The story, the art, the tone, the beautiful colouring. What a great book. Nice job to all involved, and I can’t wait for next month’s issue to see where this is all going, and how Conan takes centre stage and deals with the political machinations of that dastardly wizard and his pet goon monster. Great book, get it now.
Rating: 9/10