2000AD-PROG 1950: Jump on board, the ship is sinking

Artists and writers: Various.
Publisher: Rebellion
Released: 29th September 2015


I’m writing this in a public library and it’s quite the experience. I have a morbidly obese lady sat two seats away from me, mumbling to herself as she surfs the Internet, and two jobs seeking teens behind me, talking loudly about the NFL whilst working on their job applications. The large lady cannot appear to breathe without making a noise much like a sweating/rutting Walrus, and the two teens probably need to look for jobs as NFL analysts, as that appears to be all they are really interested in. As for me, I’m typing away on a computer console in the corner, trying to keep my composure, and trying not to let the immense irritation that is building inside of me to spill into this review of PROG 1950 of 2000 AD.

Every now and then 2000AD offers a jumping on point for new and lapsed readers, an opportunity to sample their wares and to see if 2000AD has more to offer than the Marxist inspired identity politics that is polluting the US comic book industry at the moment. PROG 1950 is one of those jumping on points, offering four brand new story arcs for new and old readers alike.

The problem with 2000AD is that it is wildly inconsistent. When it’s good it’s very good, but when it’s bad, it’s bloody awful.

I don’t enjoy saying this, but PROG 1950 is very much on the side of ‘bloody awful’ and no, it’s not just because the rotund lady is still mumbling to herself and the students are now talking loudly about their Mum’s and driving licences.

PROG 1950 gets off to a horrible start with a Judge Dredd story (by John Wagner) that uses two of the biggest clichés in contemporary writing, that being the serial killer and the sawing in half magic trick. Seriously, what is going on here? Does writer John Wagner have nothing better to offer than this? If so, he needs to find a new line of work, because this is terrible. Who hasn’t read a story about a magician being murdered when one of his tricks is tampered with? Who hasn’t read a story about a serial killer sending taunting letters to the cops? When you are reduced to using tired old tropes like this, you have run out of ideas. You need a break, you need to live a bit, read a lot, and come back to your writing career when you have new ideas and something interesting to say about the world in which you are living.

Oh great, here come more job-seeking NFL analysts. The library sounds like a busy pub now, and yes, the walrus is still here, and just as noisy as ever. Crap, oh well, onto the second story in PROG 1950 of 2000AD.

Defoe//The London Hanged is from the pen of Pat Mills, the man who produced the excellent Slaine, the best thing about 2000AD since I started to re-read it over a year ago. This new story has excellent black and white ink and pencils from artist Leigh Gallagher, and the narrative follows what amounts to a zombie hunter in mythological Olde-England. This opening is short, it introduces the main protagonist, sets the scene, and introduces a threat. That’s about it for the opening, and it’s hard to tell whether or not it’s going to be as essential as Slaine. All I can say at the moment is that it looks great, and I’m eager to see where Mills takes it after this introductory phase is over.

Brass Sun-Motorhead- is one of those set in the future stories where you have a pretty young female protagonist fighting against the evil powers that be. These stories are a dime a dozen in 2015, but is this one any good? First off, the young girl heroine is incredibly annoying. Mouthy and bossy she bravely puts up with her own physical discomforts, doing what is best for us all, and telling people to shut up whilst she does it. What can I say? It’s another narrative seemingly designed to make young girls feel good about themselves. That’s very laudable, but it’s also very, very, very common in comic books today. Plus, here’s a revelation, there aren’t exactly thousands of young girls reading these comic books, so who exactly is getting anything out of this? It’s not middle aged blokes like me, that’s for sure.

Let’s see if the last story in this jump-on issue of 2000AD has anything to offer this old, grumpy and increasingly fed-up bloke.

In short, no, the story doesn’t have much to offer me at all. The art in Bad Company//First Casualties looks great, very old school 2000AD, but this new arc begins and ends in a very predictable manner. The story is all about the end of a war. A cool sounding warrior (Kano) is missing, and his group of warrior comrades are chilling out in a veteran’s compound, drugged up, and fed-up now that the war is over. The story follows one of these men as he’s released on a special mission, and guess who he bumps into on the final panel of the book? Yep, it’s exactly who you would expect him to bump into, it’s Kano. Is this predictable narrative excusable because what happens next is going to be so much fun? I hope so, but as a stand-alone opening, it’s very mild, not very exciting, and as predictable as a walk in the park with my headphones on. Is that what I want from my 2000AD? Not really. I want a bit more than that.

That’s it. The jumping on point is over, so let’s recap what we have here. A formulaic detective Dredd story, a cool looking zombie tale, a bossy heroine narrative and a retired soldiers going back to war against/with their old boss story. I want to get excited, but there’s not a lot going on here, and as a new jumping-on point, I was hoping for a bit more. If 2000AD want to stand out from the politically correct social justice warrior wave of dross coming from the states them they need to do a lot better than this.

I want to be a huge fanboy. I want to scream about 2000AD from the roof-tops, but they are not giving me a lot to work with here. Introductions to new arcs can be difficult, but they are also an excellent opportunity to make a killer impact, and from what I’ve read in PROG 1950 of 2000AD, the impact is going to be minimal at best. 2000AD is usually a lot better than this, so this book is a huge disappointment. It’s tame, very tame, and I can’t see this book winning over any new converts at all.

Okay then, review over, the walrus is still grumbling, the class is still chatting like it’s Friday night in a pub, and it’s time for this disappointed, frustrated and not too happy comic book reviewer to get out of here. Urggh, the guy in the booth next to me just exhaled all over me, and his breath smells like vomit. I need to get out of here. Oh dear, who’d be me?


Rating: 3/10 (As a jump on point for new readers, this is very disappointing.)