Comic review: Green Lantern New Guardians #37-( Godhead Act 3, Part 3) Cheap cologne meets wet lettuce

Writer: Justin Jordan
Artists: Diogenes Neves & Rooney Buchemi
Publisher: DC Comics
Released: 17th December 2014


The facial characterisations of the main feminine character in this book looked absolutely gorgeous. Seriously, the girl named ‘Carol’ in this book was drawn as the prettiest girl in all of human history.

The Carol character herself was your typical third wave feminist. Bossing around the feminised male lead (the completely ineffectual White Lantern) this very pretty girl took charge both physically and emotionally. That’s kind of a given in most mainstream comic books today where women are in charge and men are little more than accessories, cute handbag dogs, unable to do anything other than obey or get scolded for yapping.

Green Lantern New Guardians #37, more than any other comic book that I’ve read recently, reminded me of just why I stopped reading most of my mainstream comic book titles in the first place. It’s not bad, it’s well drawn, and the narrative of the ‘Godhead’ arc is nicely developed. The problem with it (at least the problem that I have with it personally), is that it’s not really saying anything.  It reminded me of a pleasant, but inexpensive, not very long-lasting cologne. On an initial application it seems perfectly okay, but the scent rapidly disappears, leaving little more than a synthetic, bland soapy residue remaining as a reminder of its presence.

Breaking it down the book is standard comic book fare. You get quips, good guys fighting bad guys, evil dictators being arrogant and err, evil, kind of, but not really, and just when it looks like the good guys are getting the upper hand, the main villain beats them down again and the fight continues. That’s it, it’s a ‘hope’ spot in a pro wrestling match where a beaten down good guy gets a brief flurry of offence before the bad guy punches him in the gut and continues to beat him down. This process continues until the eventual ending of the match where the heroic good guy wins at the last moment against all odds and to huge cheers from the crowd.

Yes, I understand that comic books are supposed to work to that formula, just as wrestling matches work to that formula. And yes, I understand that super hero comic books in particular always work to that formula, but when you give me nothing else but that narrative formula I tend to zone out. It’s an age thing. As a 12-year-old I can follow the pro wrestling match/comic book, but as a grown adult male I need a little more than the basics to keep me interested.

This book isn’t terrible, so don’t go away from my review thinking that I hated it, because I didn’t. It’s a cheap, bland cologne, and it smells okay for a bit, and it does the job. The facials look really pretty and it has those big exciting action scenes that everybody loves, but to me it didn’t offer anything other than surface thrills and pretty faces. The bossy, in-charge female was annoying, but she’s a standard these days, so I can’t complain really can I? If I buy comic books she’s going to be there, manipulating the wimpy men and telling them what to do, a bit like the real world actually. That’s all I have to say about the book. It’s okay, but okay isn’t enough for me these days. I’m a vegetarian, but I still need something to get my teeth into, and unfortunately I couldn’t get much out of this particular wet lettuce of a book.

Rating: 4/10 (for the facials)