X-O Manowar #1: Old School FN Awesome

Writer: Matt Kindt
Artist Tomas Giorello
Colorist: Diego Rodriguez
Letterer: Dave Sharpe
Publisher: Valiant Entertainment
Released: 22nd March 2017


**WARNING- LOADS OF SWEARING IN THIS REVIEW**


Fuck yeah, my dusty memories of youth have been rekindled. Days spent messing around outside, going everywhere, anywhere, with my mates, messing around, getting in trouble, running from that trouble, doing it again, having fun, truly living before this adult half-life, which is pretty much indoor delay, thinking rather than doing, writing rather than experiencing.

Oh to be a kid again, in the 1980’s, before the Marxists reprogrammed women into thinking that they should be just like the men. Those days were fucking awesome, and I know now just how lucky I was to experience them. Today, the kids are indoors, ipads in hand, spoilt, stunted, closeted, deified and bored as fuck. It’s awful, and if you want to know why it all started to go wrong for western civilisation, stop, go into your living-room, look towards the poison lefty box that lurks in the corner, and you will have found the culprit largely responsible for the decline of it all.

Good comic books in 2017, and there are not that many of them, take me back to the days when leftist bullshit was confined to a room full of bearded commies at the local polytechnic, and not the dominant ideological cancer that it has grown into today. Before white guilt, Islamaphobia, gender pronouns, antifa fags, gay marriage rights and open border terrorist atrocities, there were young boys reading comic books about the men they wanted to grow up to be.

These men were big, strong, courageous, kick-ass, big muscled warriors with long hair, cool scars, and sexy girlfriends who looked at them longingly, with lust and admiration. I did not want to grow up and be Carl the fucking cuck, a subservient worshipper of empowered women, and their society wrecking PC bullshit. I, like all of my mates, wanted to be Conan the Barbarian, a kick ass warrior who did what he wanted to do, and didn’t give a shit about anybody’s precious fucking feelings. I read comic books because they were awesome, the male hero characters were manly and cool, and the girls wore very skimpy clothes, and were sexy as fuck.

THAT IS WHY COMIC BOOKS WERE COOL.

But look at today’s comic books <FUCK> Just look at the state of them. The girls are in charge now. Read a contemporary Marvel comic book, and you will see that a far-left/Marxist/feminist consensus has been reached. Young girls are the best leaders, pilots, fighters, warriors, engineers, lawyers, accountants, politicians, fucking everything, and there’s no need for men at all.

It’s not just Marvel, though they are the worst, pick up any comic book today and you will see young girls elevated to such a ridiculously fucking unbelievable standard of excellence that men are simply no longer required.

PLUS, the Mary Sue heroines don’t even look very attractive anymore, and certainly not to any young male reader. The progressive heroines of contemporary comic books are starting to become more covered up than women and girls in Islamic countries. FUCK. There are only TWO kinds of people who will get anything out of this kind of pandering to Marxist/feminist infiltration. The first group is obese girls with daddy issues (you will see them in the streets with metal in their faces and blue hair dye dripping into their brains) and the second group is their pathetic cuck, testicle free jellyfish boyfriends who couldn’t fight themselves out of a wet paper-bag.

FUCK THESE PEOPLE.

The twelve-year old version of myself would have laughed his ass off at these fucktards, and seen them as the pathetic losers that they are, and now these are the people who are keeping the comic book industry alive? What a sorry fucking state the entire industry is in, how fucking sad it all is.

So, when I pick up a NEW comic book in 2017, a book that features a big buff man with a bad-ass attitude, cool hair, stripper girlfriend and the story is all about him fighting weird alien creatures in space, fuck yeah, this is the good shit. This is what I want, this is what comic books used to do, this is what comic books should be doing to reclaim their place in the hearts of masculinity deprived young boys in the west today.

Let’s talk about the art in this book. Tomas Giorello, you are a fucking genius mate. You know how to draw the bulging biceps, scarred up, growling glint of pure testosterone that is MAN. Giorello knows how to draw the man that every young boy dreams that he will grow up to be. Muscles, individualism, aggression, determination, pure, badass, masculine authority, that is what he draws, and nobody does it better.

What’s the story all about then? It’s a straightforward tale, easy to follow, and focuses on our man, ‘Aric’ the hero. That’s exactly how it should be. That’s what young boys want. That’s what gets them into reading comic books in the first place. To break it down, here’s what you are getting. You have super buff Aric on a farm, and he has a stripper alien girlfriend. There’s a hint that he has some super weapon technology thing that he hides, and then he’s sent to a war that he doesn’t want to go to. He kicks ass in that war (and the alien creatures whose ass he kicks look fucking awesome) and the issue ends with him about to be sent off on a suicide mission where he’ll obviously have to unpack and use his super weapon technology. What is it? What does it do? All shall be revealed next issue.

That is fucking awesome. What else could a young boy want out of a comic book? The protagonist is everything that any kid would ever want to be. He’s a kick-ass warrior with a bad-ass attitude, he’s got big muscles, cool hair, an alien stripper girlfriend and A SECRET FUCKING WEAPON THAT HE HASN’T EVEN FUCKING USED YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s really very simple, isn’t it? That’s it. That’s all you need to fucking do in a comic book. Do this, put a real man in the book, let him do what men do, and you rescue the entire fucking comic book industry. Not only that, but you start to give the kids of today a glimpse into that rare realm of ancient lore, that strange mythological dark space that is rarely glimpsed today, PURE, HONEST, SWEATY BALLS, KICK-ASS, DON’T GIVE A FUCK, MASCULINITY.

This issue, of course, is just a very, very, very, very good start. The following issues could social justice it all up and lay a big turd of progressive weakness all over this awesome start, but as a stand-alone first issue, X-O MANOWAR SOLDIER ISSUE 01 is old school fucking awesome.

This is the kind of book that I used to read as a kid in the early 1980’s, the kind of book that got me into comic books in the first place, and the kind of comic book that you just don’t see anymore. Everything about it is fucking awesome, the characters, art, story, simplicity, and the take no shit old-school masculine attitude itself. If you are searching for evidence that the Marxist era of progressive insanity and weakness is finally coming to an end, then this is the book for you.


Rating: 10/10 (Art, story, characters, everything about this book is old school fucking awesome)