Rogue One: A Far-Right Review

Directed by: Gareth Edwards

Screenplay by: Chris Weitz & Tony Gilroy

Story by: John Knoll & Gary Whitta

Starring:
Felicity Jones
Diego Luna
Ben Mendelsohn
Forest Whitaker

Distributed by: Walt Disney Studios

Release Date: December 10, 2016 



Thirty-seven minutes into a movie that I refuse to pay for, here’s what I think. Loads of quips, trying so hard to be funny, getting a bit annoying now. The girl, she’s beating up all of the men, easily, white stormtroopers, something about male disposability going on here, unintentional, obviously, them being white, also unintentional, just how it goes, right?

Didn’t one of the writers say something on twatter about the cuckfest movie being about a team of multicultural heroes against white supremacy? I see that. I also see the lefts ridiculous framing of themselves as heroic rebels, against the evil empire of white male patriarchy, whilst being completely oblivious to the fact that the lefties have been destroying western civilisation in political, academic and media power hubs for decades now. How do you portray yourselves as the heroic ‘rebels’ when you are in charge of everything? I know, let’s go back in time and pretend that the mythological evil that is the ‘far-right’ is actually in power, not us.

'Hello, we are the patriarchy, how may we assist you?'

That’s what they are doing in the movies anyway, cough ‘A Force Asleepens,’ and in the real world you finally have something real to fight against. The rise of the real world evil empire, starts this Friday with the Trump inauguration ceremony, fear, fear, fear, safe spaces needed. Hey soft guys and girls (I know, no difference now, is there?) great news for you all, you get to play at being the rebels again, just like in this movies. Yay, call for the assassination of Trump on your twatter platforms. You are so heroic, so progressive and so rebellious, even though you are serving the agenda of totalitarian globalists.

Talking of tools, that female lead can’t act at all, how funny it is, not as funny as seeing her beat up all of the men who are three times her size, but still pretty funny nonetheless. You’d think they’d at least be able to find a skinny white girl with a vaguely ‘British’ accent that could act a bit. I guess not, how hard can it be? But hey, that’s leftists for you, they screw up everything. Enough with the writing, I need to get back to the movie. I’m not enjoying it by the way. So glad I didn’t pay Disney corp for this tosh. Okay, back in. I’ll let you know what I think in another thirty minutes or so.

Oh man, back already. Just seen Forest Whitaker ‘acting' with the little girl character and I couldn’t believe this was possible, but he’s actually chewing the scenery worse than she is, putting on a ridiculous Broken Matt Hardy accent in an attempt to be ‘crazy.’ It’s flipping hilarious, really, unintentionally hilarious. What happened to him? He used to be good, didn’t he? I have to get back. Broken Forest Whitaker is so bad he’s cucking awesome.

Multiculturalism to the rescue.

Ha ha ha, they’re just explaining the ‘flaw’ in the Death star, that old plot hole from the original movie. Quite lame, obviously, but they’re loading up the syrupy sentimentality in a hope to get away with it. It will work of course, the cucks watching this shite will lap it up. Oh and Peter Cushing looks like a CGI Peter Cushing, doesn’t sound like him either, sucks, but that’s how it is. As for the comedy relief robot that is getting rave reviews. Nah, bores me, much like the movie is already boring me now at the 48-minute mark. Germanic villains from a WW2 movie, cartoonishly evil, not real people, Hollywood being Hollywood again. Hi Israel. Not even one hour in and I’m bored, bored, bored.

Missing fathers, always missing fathers. Cuck Wars is a universe with missing fathers, says so much about the world we live in today. No fathers equals no resistance, genuine resistance, not lefty bullshit coming out of the foundation funded university system and bled into news/entertainment/culture with ambitious young careerists repeating their programming to get ahead. Get rid of dad and the children run to the globalist empire. That’s real world stuff now, important stuff. Get that and we have a chance, don’t and we might as well go the cinema and shovel multicultural popcorn into our brains.

65mins in and I’m so bored. I don’t care about any of these people, the acting is terrible and the villains are not believable. They must be reading my mind, because here comes a big battle scene, noise, explosions, special FX masking a boring movie, lifeless script, dull 2D characters. Is the dad dead? I don’t care.

Yep, he’s dead. The new message, die dad die, young girls are the future now. Well, is anybody surprised? That’s what Hollywood and the lefty globalists want, get rid of nationalistic dad, your children belong to us now. Only in your movies, losers. The real rebellion is well underway in 2017. Brexit, Trump, bitches. You cannot kill genuine masculine resistance with feminism and white knighting cucks. Ask Hillary, she’ll tell you, if she’s sober that is.

Here comes Darth Nostalgia, that breathing, the cucks are wetting themselves. Hang on, ten seconds in and even Vader is over-acting. What a joke it all is. And he departs, with a ‘choking’ pun. Man, what a suck-fest cuck-fest.

Broken Forest Whitaker says, 'I knew you would come.'

And now the little girl is lecturing a multicultural collective of brave rebel heroes with the wordly wisdom of a couple of years of adulthood. How old is she? She looks like she’s barely out of lefty government school. Oh and a woman is their dictator and none of them appear to mind that she has the final say on a huge decision that could end the lot of them. Well, we all know how the left love a dictator don’t we, so I guess they got that right at least.

Just over half an hour left, waiting for another big battle, don’t care about anything that is happening, time is slowing to a crawl, so glad I didn’t go the cinema and pay for this turd.

Oh man, the teenager is giving a leadership speech now to all of the blokes, what a joke, all of the men bowing to this great eight stone warrior girl with too much eye make-up and a wonky English accent that comes straight out of a Simpson’s cartoon. Is the actress a Brit? I think that she is. I guess that being driven to drama school in a Chelsea tractor for over a decade didn’t exactly give her much experience in the real world and her ‘I was like and she was like’ real life accent is probably not ‘English’ enough for the movie. Multiculturalism destroys hosts cultures. Talk to an English girl today, you’ll see. They sound like idiots, American idiots. Hey Green day. Fuck off Green day. Libtard drunks, back now after eight years of drinking, you are the tooliest tools of all the rock and roll tools.

Down go the whitey stormtroopers, yay multicultural heroes, death to whitey, look at whitey die. Fan service stuff, how long left? Twenty minutes? That’s too long, much too long. My brain is shrinking, my will to live….fading.

Gin Asshole? Is that her name? I like it. Finally, something that I like.

Worst marksmen like totally evvvveerrr.

The end is like the original movie, just without characters that I actually care about. Why can’t they write believable or likeable characters anymore? Comedy characters don't count. They're silly, childish and easy, hello Mr robot, you are supposed to be the best character in the movie, you, the comic relief. I agree with that commonly held opinion, your silliness is amusing and that’s all that the movie has, none of the other characters make any impact whatsoever. The robot is dying now and it’s a little bit sad, the life of the movie, metal comedy relief, is gone, the movie now limps to the conclusion.

Girl jumps first, man follows, of course, the message of the movie, just like all Disney movies. Strong independent women need no man, that role being taken by socialist/globalist government now.

Is he dead? Sacrificed his life for the girl? Don’t do that. Don’t be a white knight, don’t be a cuck. They wouldn’t do it for you. They run to government, betray you, betray their own people and invite in a real patriarchy. Do not self-sacrifice for government girls who will destroy western civilisation to feel good about themselves on twitter.

Much better than Jar Jar.

Oh, boyfriend is back to save the girl. Not dead, yet. Sucker. CGI Peter Cushing is back, over-acting as the real Peter Cushing would never do. Bang, are they all dead? I hope so. Hello, here’s Darth Nostalgia, staring menacingly. Oh, they are not dead yet, the dull couple. Please kill them Lord Nostalgia, just don’t talk, your accent is a bit wrong, like all of the accents in the movie actually.

Nostalgia Vader ain’t talking, chopping, best bit of the movie. He's kicking lefty rebel ass, blending into the original movie, that first bit when Darth makes his entrance and oh, here's Princess Leah.

‘What is it they sent us?’

‘Hope.’

END

Well we all know how that really ends don’t we. It ends with Obama's empty slogans, broken promises, drones, war, government dependency, SJW tantrums, failure, BLM, ISIS and Donald Trump coming in to sort out all of the damage that has been caused.

Movie reviews are supposed to end with a summary, a conclusion, but this here, this thing, was different, don’t you think? I didn’t pay for this movie and I’m glad that I didn’t. It was soft leftism, out of touch, nostalgia, fan service, comedy robot, feminism, dullness, multiculturalism versus white nationalism, the usual fare that you can expect from Hollywood for the next four years. Don’t go the cinema. It’s only going to get worse, hey Meryl?

Libtards have been in charge of everything for far too long and now we are living during the time of the real rebellion, a nationalist uprising against their globalist socialist evils. Cinema has to change, or it will die. Same story for television, academia, politics, literature, comic books, everything. Change, adapt or die, it’s evolution baby, the false god of libtards that is now biting them on the butts and how amusing it is indeed. I’m looking forward to Friday. Donald Trump, a new beginning, not just for America, but for the future of western civilisation. The era of empty, passive hope is dead. Hollywood is dying. The new era is of competence, hard work and individualism. To hope is to be passive. Don’t hope, don’t wait, get up, believe in yourself, create, work, do.


Rating for movie: 2/10 (For Darth Nostalgia getting choppy at the end and the comedy robot being an amusing antidote to the dullness that surrounded him/it)