Comic book review: The Names #1- I dedicate this review to the fanboys out there

Writer: Peter Milligan
Artist; Leandro Fernandez
Publisher: Vertigo (DC)
Released: 3rd September 2014



It will be interesting to see how well this comic fares, as it’s dealing with something that a lot of the 1990’s obsessed fanboys fear more than anything else. Yes, I’m talking about the dreaded R word……

REALITY.

Yeah, I know that was a bit harsh, but it’s true on a lot of levels as well. This book is dealing with something that has hit the news recently, something that looks like a series of coincidences, but to those of a more conspiratorial mind-set looks like forming an ominous pattern, being indicative of something sinister going on, and something catastrophic that is yet to come.

That ‘something’ is the recent spate of bank assholes that have committed ‘suicide.’ Or did they really commit suicide at all? That’s where ‘The Names’ begins, with a bank tosser being forced to write a suicide note before taking a swan dive out of his office window.

There’s a great villain introduced early on in the book, and the heroine is a super hot, punch you in the face feminist. You know the kind of woman that Quentin Tarrantino creams himself over, the middle class wet blanket that he is. There’s a reason that comic book fans love Quentin and his 1970’s homage movies. The reason is that they feature strong, independent, sexy women. These sexy/manly women are substitutes for a lack of masculinity in the lives of the pathetic, suburb dwelling dweebs who adore Quentin and his N word movies. Watching his movies helps them briefly escape their emasculated realities where political correctness has bathed them in a mind bath of male guilt bullshit. They want to be men, but they feel so very bad about it, so end up being fanboys instead, with an empathise on ‘boys.’ Lacking any manhood in themselves they look to strong, fictional females to surreptitiously inject some testosterone into their veins. They cheer for the feisty, independent kick-ass women not because they want to sleep with them. No, they wouldn’t do that, because that would mean they are ‘objectifying’ them and that wouldn’t be politically correct, would it? No, they love to watch movies and read comics about these women because they want to be them.

That’s not to say I have problems with her inevitable appearance in this mainstream comic book. I understand why she’s there. She’s bait for the feminist liberal dweebs, and as this comic book business is about getting them to read your stuff I cannot criticise the decision to have her as the main protagonist. People such as myself would prefer a strong independent male protagonist, but I accept that they are rare these days outside of a Conan book, so it is what it is.

The art by the way is great. The cover-art kind of sucks, but the interior art is all dark shadows, atmosphere, angles and creativity. It’s early days, but so far I like it a lot.

If you take a chance on ‘The Names’ you are going to get a book with nice art, a contemporary plot theme, a strong independent woman protagonist and some creepy villains. It’s a good start, the script is engaging with a ‘too cool for school’ dialogue and it’s nice to see a comic book about bank bastards for a change. Oh, and as for my little mid-review rant about feminist liberal comic book fan dweebs, I just put that in there to light a fire underneath some flabby asses. If it sounds like I was talking about you in this review then take it as a big flashing neon sign above your head that says- TIME TO MAN UP, SON. Put the political correctness in the bin and start being a man, not a fanboy waiting in-line at a convention as horrified writers and artists count down the seconds before they can get the hell away from you.

Rating: 8/10