Review: C.O.W.L #2- A reality check for comic book fans

Writer: Kyle Higgins and Alec Siegel
Artist: Rod Reis
Publisher: Image comics
Released: 25th June 2014

There are two moments in this second issue of C.O.W.L that really crystallise where I am with super hero comics in 2014, and perhaps where the comic book industry itself should be, at least if they want to be honest with themselves.

The first moment is when a sulky young boy disrespects his father because he doesn’t have super powers. He’s a child, and he likes the idea of special powers, and cool looking costumes. Being a good, honest person who stands up for what is right over what is wrong is not enough to impress his child’s mind, and that is understandable, because he is a child.

The second moment is when the girlfriend/wife of a character surveys her partner with a slightly fed up look, telling him ‘Maybe it’s finally time to move on from the super-heroes.’

These two moments sum up the state of most adult, comic book readers today. If you obsess over costumed heroes you are a child, and you need to grow up. Let’s be honest here, because that’s what you are. You are not being ‘knowing’ or ‘ironic,’ you are a child.  A costumed hero existing in a mainstream comic book in a 2014 context is stupid. Why is it stupid?  I'll make myself very clear on this point, because it's important.

Superheroes don't have to be stupid, but as they are written in contemporary comic books they are as stupid as a cartoon coyote chasing a cartoon Roadrunner in a rocket propelled jetpack. The only difference is that the cartoon coyote is self evidently ludicrous, whilst the superhero comic book genre wraps itself up in adult themes, playing at being grown up.

In reality the average comic book fan is a fat, middle aged call centre worker going to a Comic-Com in a silly cape on the weekend where he will hero worship artists and writers who only tolerate his existence because they are eyeing his wallet. As they sit down and make money out of these lines and lines of sheep-like idiots one thing is going through their minds, ‘God, I’m glad I’m not that guy. What a total and utter loser.’

They put up with these stunted adults because they want to suck as much money out of them as possible, and they respect their opinions and reviews of their comics (mine included) about as much as they respect the opinions of their pet hamster. It’s a big joke, and the soft and pathetic ‘adults’ queuing up to pay homage to the (largely talentless) writers and artist’s who hate the sight of them, is as depressing a spectacle as I can possibly imagine. This might not be a popular thing to say, but it is true.

If you are a grown man, and into superhero comics in 2014 then you are a fucking idiot. Now that’s harsh language, and I don’t like to swear, but it has to be done. Comic book fans need a serious reality check, whether they like it or not. I’ll explain why.

Can Superman fly over to Iraq and have a chat with the terrorist group called ISIS? No, he can’t. Why? Because if he did, writers would have to explain to their readers what ISIS really is, and who created them. That would be the United States, their intelligence agencies and their allies in certain Gulf States. This would lead to the questioning of whether or not America are the good guys, as the comic books still portray them, or just a collection of corporate and banking interests that use the abstract idea of ‘America’ as a front for their global profit making activities.

In short, you would be calling out the idea of the legitimacy of one group of rich and largely unaccountable people treating millions of people like slaves to carry out their corrupt and immoral business dealings. If Superman were a real person, you’d think he’d be interested in all of this, wouldn’t you? Don’t you think he’d also have something to say about recent history? How about the illegal Iraq war based on a now widely acknowledged deliberate deception? The plight of the Palestinian people in Gaza would be interesting to him, don’t you think? How about the fact that ‘America’ supports a nation (Saudi Arabia) that discriminates against 50% of its population solely based on their gender? What about the recent revelations by Edward Snowden that we are all living in a global surveillance state? Would Superman not care about any of these issues? Or would he just spend his time watching football and reality television whilst eating genetically modified food and chanting,  "USA, USA, USA," as he drank himself into a coma every night?

And that’s why superheroes are pretty stupid in a 2014 context. All you can do with them is treat them as a joke, or set the clock back and put them in an alternative world, perhaps in the past where you can place them in a safe historical setting before 9/11 and the phoney ‘War on terror.’

That’s what writers Kyle Higgins and Alec Siegel are doing in C.O.W.L, a book safely set in 1962, a time where he can blame everything on Chicago ‘Gangsters’ rather than the real world gangsters of 2014, them being the corporate men and women in official uniforms.

That’s not to say that this book is completely worthless, because in the small scope it has given itself for socio-political commentary it can still say something about the nature of the state manufacturing a new threat for itself in a cold war context. Yeah, I know what a lot of people are thinking, ‘Not the bloody cold war again,' and yes, I’m thinking that myself. But at least in this book you have the writers acknowledging that a Police state continually has to invent new ‘threats’ to justify it’s existence. Sure they’re not going to talk about the creation of Al ‘CIA’ Durrr and their new friends in ISIS, but for a stupid comic book about superheroes this is probably as good as you are going to get nowadays.

That’s pretty depressing don’t you think? That the closest thing we get to reality in a superhero comic in 2014 is more cold war stuff set in the 1960’s. Think about that, and think about why you probably shouldn't bother reading superhero comic books anymore, at least until somebody is brave enough to stick his head above the parapet and start relating them to actual, contemporary issues. But until that time, and unless you are a small child, you probably shouldn’t be wasting your time with stupid superhero comic books. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of escapist fantasy, but wilful ignorance is not a quality you want to aspire to as a grown adult, and that stupid cape and pants over your wives tights really isn’t doing anything for you.
Rating: 6/10