Blast Review: Justice League Dark #32- Oh crap, this one is usually quite good.

Writer: J.M. DeMatteis
Artist: Andres Guinaldo
Publisher: DC
Released 25th June 2014

So, here we go again. Can anybody in contemporary superhero comics write a satisfying conclusion to an arc these days? Okay, so this one wasn’t as soul destroying as some of the Jeff Lemire duds he’s lazily dumped onto the comic book reading public recently, but this conclusion to the recent JLD story arc was very damp and very squibby.

 I’ll do spoilers here by the way, not that this book deserves kid glove treatment, because it doesn’t. In the past few issues Nightmare Nurse got a little bit interesting. Was she good, or was she bad? Turns out she was some kind of soul sucking parasitic demon, but that’s okay apparently, because she’s a good soul sucking parasitic demon, even though that very concept makes absolutely zero sense to me. Since when did a creature that possesses your body and traps your soul in limbo become a bloody hero?

I’m not being stupid here am I? Perhaps Nightmare ‘Soul Sucking Parasitic Demon’ Nurse can get back into nursing and be put in charge of one of the New World Order’s eugenics, ooooops, sorry I meant 'vaccination’ programs? That’s the only way that this could make any sense, but no way is any mainstream comic book writer going to go anywhere near that one, are they?  The corporate career bloody cowards.

This book is stupid. People die, but don’t die and kisses happen, but they don’t mean what kisses mean. And it’s all a waste of time, and why the Hell am I talking about it? And why does Constantine have to call every single magic trick ever used by a villain a ‘cheap parlour trick?’ Hasn’t he got anything else to say? He’s supposed to be a witty man, isn’t he? Not somebody who just goes through the same old rubbish time after time after time until you remember that he is 1980’s character and everything about him, including his look screams late 1970’s, not 2014.

Oh crap, reality has busted the bubble again. What a shame, this book is usually okay, but this month it was awful, barely readable. I didn’t see the point in any of this. It offered nothing, and I’m surprised that I’ve managed to say so much about it. What a waste of my bloody time that was. Rating: 3/10

Review: Justice League Dark #31- Guess who’s back?

Writer: J.M DeMatteis
Artists: Andres Guinaldo, Mark Irwin and Walden Wong
Publisher: DC
Released: 4th June 2014


I was a bit worried that the most interesting character in the Justice League Dark was no longer involved with the team of magical misfits, and relegated to his own (lazily written) title by Ray Fawkes. Thankfully though, and I hope this isn’t just a one-off, our main man, John Constantine makes an extremely welcome appearance in JLD #31, getting drunk with two prostitutes (classy move John) and reluctantly finding himself on the side of the Nightmare Nurse in her psyche/psychic battle with John’s ex beau, Zatanna. That appearance by John Constantine is obviously the highlight of JLD #31, but there are other points of interest as well. Nightmare Nurse becomes interesting, for the first time since her addition to the team. Deadman and Swamp Thing finally has something to do that makes them more than just spare parts, and there’s some basic philosophising about the nature of consciousness with emptiness not really being empty at all.

Constantine, “How the Hell can cosmic nothing have consciousness?”
Nightmare Nurse, “Let’s leave the questions to the philosophers and get our adorable asses out of here.”


That sounds like a challenge, so here’s my answer:

There is no emptiness, there is no death, so stop worrying about everything, and give your criminal masters/government a kick in the pants whilst you are on this merry go round of temporary existence where nothing ends, and death is only a new beginning, Why am I talking about philosophy now? Because it’s my blog, and I want to. That’s how it works around here you see. Did I mention the art in JLD # 31? Nope, okay then, quick mention. Big panels of whirling patterns and bubbly consciousness forming itself out of its base, reaching out to attach itself to the experience of humanity, living in this realm of existence just for something to do. Like Constantine and his prostitutes. Well, it passes the time, doesn’t it? Rating 7.5/10