Original fiction: Ms Morality in ‘The Tunnels of Intolerance’- Part One.

Written by: Mark. A. Pritchard
Released on: The Rorshach Rant- 27th February 2015


A thundering on the door was the signal of a new beginning, the start of a day that would change everything for young Ms Eva Truth (real name Elizabeth Ponsolby Holdings). Armed only with her mobile phone she bravely walked down the stairs to investigate just what the jolly hell was going on. By the time she had made the twenty-yard walk the Police were already on the scene. Her speed dialling bravery had saved the day once again.

She opened the door with caution, can of mace in hand, to find three Police cars, numerous Police officers and her handcuffed and embarrassed looking brother Rufus.

‘Oh hi Rufus, what’s up?’ said an empowered and confident Ms Truth.

‘Hi Liz, any chance you can explain to these gentlemen that I’m not the serial rapist you described on the telephone?’ replied a clearly annoyed and exasperated Rufus.

After a quick explanation, some on the spot counselling from a concerned WPC the brave feminist warrior Ms Truth finally allowed her brother to come into her house for a cup of tea, biscuits and a quick chat.

‘Now Rufus, before we begin I have to make things very clear here.’ Started a still shaking (but bravely) Ms Truth as she put the kettle on and made for the chocolate bourbons.

‘You have to understand that you can’t just knock on my door at 10am in the morning and expect me not to be concerned. You have to…..’

‘Wait a second,’ interrupted Rufus. I come around here every Wednesday morning to baby-sit for baby Sojourner and it hasn’t been a problem so far.’

‘Yes, but today is Thursday Rufus, today is Thursday.’

There was a stunned silence in the room, as Rufus came to the awful realisation that an entire day had gone misssing.

‘Oh my word,’ he cried. ‘Whatever could have happened? I feel a bit queazy. I thought it was Wednesday, but it’s actually Thursday??? Oh my mother earth goddess, I think I’m going to faint.’

‘You stay right here bruv, don’t do a thing, don’t even move a muscle,’ replied Ms Truth, now taking charge in a confident female manner. ‘This is a mystery for a super heroine to investigate, and I know just the woman for the job. You stay here. I need to make a call. ’

‘But what about baby Sojourner?’ replied Rufus. ‘Where is she? Is she at her Dad’s, is she….’

But before he could finish the sentence his fiercely determined sister was off, out of the room. There was no time to waste. Patriarchy was a menace that had to be snuffed out immediately, and every second spent talking about babies, children or families was a precious second wasted.

An hour later, and after the upstairs sounds of a shower, hairdryer and Pussy Riot CD, the living-room door flew open, and there she was, the heroine of the masses, the saviour of the offended, the amazingly empowered MS MORALITY.

What a sight it was to behold. Trouser suited, Pink Doctor Martin boots a cute orange balaclava and a little briefcase to show that this was a businesswoman, and not somebody that you should be messing with.

‘Greetings comrade. I hear you have been threatened/slightly offended by a mysterious event that was out of your control, and as a young homosexual gender neutral comrade of the politically correct nation of togetherness I am here to right all wrongs that were done to you.’

Her voice was booming, empowered and impressive, but not in an aggressive way. Young Rufus sat back in awe, quietly clapping his hands like a Dolphin at a theme park.

‘Ohhhh Ms Morality, I can’t believe that you have taken time-out from your duties at the politically correct nation of togetherness to help somebody like me.’

‘Of course comrade, that’s what we are here for. Whenever one of our comrades has suffered we are here to help. So what is the problem? Your sister told me that it was urgent, that you had lost something because of the evil system of white heterosexual patriarchy. Please tell me, calmly, in your own time, what have the evil b******s done to you? ’

After five minutes of explanation our quick-witted heroic detective/investigator/super-heroine determined that a conspiracy was afoot. It couldn’t be the fault of Rufus that he had managed to lose an entire day. He was after all just a single young gay man living all alone in the cold, harsh city. No, something else had to be happening, something bigger that needed to be investigated.

‘This is a most intriguing and complex mystery comrade Rufus. Your sister did the right thing to call me rather than letting you doing anything for your poor, innocent victim self.’ boomed the confident, and attractive (but not in a sexual way) feminist heroine.

‘I detect the intolerant and probably secretly gay workings of master criminal Doctor Homophobial behind what has happened to you. If anybody would have the motivation to cause the unpleasant scene with the Police that so victimised you this morning then it would have to be him.’

‘Oh, how do you know about the Police?’ replied Rufus. ‘I forgot to mention them. I just said that I’d lost a day and thought it was a bit strange.’

‘Ha ha ha, my young friend,’ replied the resplendent superheroine. ‘We are always listening, we are always watching, but just for your own protection of course.’

‘But now, I must be gone. It appears that Doctor Homophobial is up to his old tricks again, and it’s up to the nation of togetherness to stop him. That is our duty. That is our curse. Oh, and you don’t mind if I have a quick look around your flat for clues do you?’

‘Of course not Ms Morality, do you need a key?’ replied a now visibly shaking with excitement Rufus.

‘Ah no, that won’t be necessary. Just thought I’d ask. I’d hate to intrude on your privacy without asking.’

‘But didn’t you just say that you were listening and watching me for my own protection? And where’s my sister gone?’

‘No time for that comrade,’ interrupted a heavily in thought Ms Morality. ‘No time to waste, I must get to the bottom of this intriguing mystery.’

And with a quick nibble on a custard cream, the brave, heroic, towering, empowering superheroine was off into the dangerous mid afternoon traffic to investigate this now deepening mystery.

Meanwhile….deep in the bowels of their mancave of intolerance the evil gang of villains known as the ‘Politically Incorrect Scoundrels’ planned their next move. The leader of the Scoundrels, a particularly evil, devilish and devious character known only as ‘The Dissenter’ spoke up:

‘Stage one of the operation has now been completed my politically incorrect brethren of rogues. The trap has been sprung, and Ms Morality is walking straight into it. Now we move on to stage two of the plan. Operation Disempower is going exactly as planned, and it’s time we turned up the heat on little Ms Morality. Ha ha ha ha.’

The evil, intolerant laugh of the menace to society known as ‘The Dissenter’ echoed menacingly in the mancave of the rogues, and all the while Ms Morality was walking straight into their trap, a trap that could spell the end of her intolerance busting days, forever.


END OF PART ONE


Miss Morality will return next week (Friday 6th March) in ‘The Tunnels of Intolerance’- Part 2. What do the brethren of rogues have planned for her? What exactly is ‘Operation Disempower?’  All will be revealed next week. DON’T MISS IT.


* If any artist would be willing to illustrate this story, then please let me know.

Comic book analysis- 2000 AD PROG 1918- The State of 2000 AD in 2015 AD

Writers and artists: Various
Publisher: Rebellion
Released: 18th February 2015


2000AD is a weekly UK comic book that exists in a 2015 context of neo-liberal consensus politics where the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer and the middle-classes are being deliberately destroyed by ‘austerity’ policies that are coming straight from central bankers down to their puppet politicians and regurgitated by largely unquestioning mainstream journalists.

The official narrative is weird, and consists of Orwellian doublethink, that makes no sense whatsoever. It's a well known, and over-told tale, but I think it needs to be told again, so here goes:

The banks lost a lot of money due to their own dodgy activities. To keep them afloat our governments gave them billions in free cash. That money came from the public, from our taxes. Now the banks are back to making lots of money (for themselves), all subsidised by tax-payer money, and in order to help them continue to make lots of money (for themselves) everybody living in the UK has to suffer ‘austerity’ cuts.

That means cutting funding on vital things like health and education. What do the public get out of this? Nothing, that’s what they get, whilst the banks get to carry on business as usual, and if we don’t like it, well tough luck because ALL of the democratic parties in the UK have the same policies of supporting the banks and supporting austerity cuts.

That is the context of life in 2015 for the people living in the tax net known as the UK, so should 2000AD be reflecting it, or ignoring it? The later would happily please a lot of comic book fans, who would passionately argue that comic books are about ‘escapism’ and that they offer a brief respite from the harsh realities that they have to contend with in their every day lives.

My response to that kind of mindset is SOD OFF. How can anything change if cultural texts don’t even engage with the reality that surrounds them? Do comic book readers not want anything to change? Are they happy with their families living in poverty whilst they read books that tell them that political correctness is the most pressing concern of our times, rather than dealing with the actual things that impact their lives? Do you know what that kind of mindset is called? It’s called IGNORANCE. Deliberately ignoring the world around you because it’s painful and you’d rather not look at it.

Well keep on ignoring reality comic book fans. Keep ignoring the march of state enabled corporate fascism and you’ll wake up one morning either in a ditch or in a government camp. That’s not alarmist thinking, that’s historical thinking. If you keep on ignoring reality then one day reality will kick down your front door and smash your teeth down your throat, that’s what reality does, so stop ignoring it before it’s too late.

Here’s my question, my reason for doing this piece of textual analysis- Does 2000AD engage with the reality of austerity UK in 2015?

Here are my conclusions-

I’ve read this week’s issue of 2000AD (PROG 1918) and found it to be a combination of ignoring reality, statism, political correctness, feminism and (tentative) real world analysis. The magazine contains five stories, and I’ll review them here for signs of contemporary real world relevance.

Judge Dredd was pure statism and fear of freedom (anarchy). The Judges are there to protect poor innocent civilians from nasty villains who just want to see the world burn. It really was that simplistic, and in that sense it’s a perfect synthesis of the real world dynamic where people will happily give up their freedoms for the illusion of safety that is offered by government. This script reminded me that a lot of people live their lives based on fear, and will happily live in a cage, just as long as they have their iphones and television shows about serial-killers and zombies. That’s the mindset that every totalitarian state wants to keep it’s people in, the mindset of fear and paranoia, and it’s on perfect display here in this excellently drawn but horribly statist and cowardly comic book strip.

Survival Geeks is a new series in 2000AD and features a bunch of supposedly loveable loser geek types in a dimensional travelling house. The tone is light, the characters are silly, and I guess the reader is supposed to identify with the assorted loser protagonists of the tale. To me it read like fan fiction, or pandering to readers, and it had no relevance whatsoever with ANYTHING that is actually happening in the UK today. Pointless, weak, fluffy and silly, it’s a tale for the ignorant, a tale for those who want to close the curtains and hide from encroaching reality. Having said that, I recognise why it was included in this magazine. It’s comedy relief, and even though I disliked it, I can recognise that many other readers will see it as quick giggle in-between all of the other more serious minded stories, and thus will justify it’s conclusion. I’m not a fan of the emasculated ‘Geek’ culture, so I was never going to be a fan of something like this, and in that respect it’s a personal thing related to my own preferences, and not an indictment of the actual story itself.

The next tale was much better. ‘Station to Station’ was actively trying to engage with the issue of Syrian refugees begging on the streets of the UK in a contemporary context, so massive props to writer Eddie Robson for going there. It came from a predictably left wing perspective with all of their overblown fears of racism and sexism, but I can live with that, and the inclusion of a story that actually acknowledged reality in the UK was a (cliché alert) refreshing breath of fresh air in the comic. This particular story has a bucket load of potential, and I can’t wait to see where writer Eddie Robson goes with it. I particularly enjoyed the teasers that are given in the book that humanity is joined by a collective consciousness, as that is something that I have been looking into myself personally, and I feel that there is a great truth there that needs to be further examined.

The third story (The Order) also came from a feminist liberal perspective, but this time the heroic young girl protagonist (it’s always a heroic young girl in left-wing comics) was fighting worm villains in some kind of strange medieval/futuristic setting. She had your predictably statist Daddy issues to deal with, was taking on the masculine role (of course) but at least she appeared to acknowledge that she was messed up because of these issues, and it really shocked me to hear her admit that she would have liked to have children of her own. That’s quite a statement to make by any feminist hero, as that entire movement is so anti-man and anti-family that any talk about having a normal family life is quite a break from the norm. The story itself was in colour, and that’s quite a good way of describing the themes, as its not all black and white here, it was a lot cleverer than that. The feminist liberal stuff is looking weak, and there’s a hint that perhaps having all of the young women acting like young men isn’t really such a good thing after all.

The last story was the best, and that’s probably why it was kept to the end, giving the reader a good impression of the magazine as a whole as s/he concludes his/her weekly read. ‘Savage’ by Pat Mills, is about political deception and how not everything is as it appears to be. It’s set in an alternative parallel time to our own, a time where the UK has been invaded, taken over by an alien race, and now newly ‘liberated’ by the US and their drone technologies. The main protagonist is that rarity of rarities in these politically correct, neo-liberal, feminist times, a strong, independent, morally upright man who tries to do what is right rather than unquestioningly following government/corporate orders. Amazing, hey? I was starting to think that such a man didn’t exist in comic books anymore.  Deception is everywhere in this tale, and mercenaries controlled by US intelligence agencies (Hello ISIS) are carrying out assassinations, and corporate powers operate just behind the scenes, manipulating their political puppets to further their own agendas. It’s the UK in a parallel reality, but things there are not so different to how they actually operate here, outside of the mainstream media Decepticon narrative, obviously.

The first story was pure, unadulterated statism. The second was geek culture (comedy relief) irrelevance. The third used a real world scenario with a sympathetic feminist liberal character. The fourth had the same kind of empowered female protagonist but in a futuristic setting, and the final story dealt with political/corporate deception through the lens of a positive male protagonist.

That’s five stories, with four of them coming from a traditional Marxist/Feminist/ Neo-liberal view-point, and the fourth having a bit of testosterone about it by using a freedom loving bloke as the main protagonist. So, going back to my original question- Does 2000AD engage with the reality of austerity UK in 2015?

No, it doesn’t do that, but there are signs that reality is forcing its way into the narratives. A mention of Syria, a mention of drones, a mention of corporate complicity in staged ‘terrorist’ events. It’s there, lurking in the background, banging on the door, yet the geeks still have their headphones on. They are still happily asleep, convinced that reality won’t harm them, and all the time the corporate controllers thank them for their apathetic help in building a fascist, totalitarian, corporate new world order.

2000AD is still a bit sleepy, and the influence of cultural Marxist/Feminist indoctrination is all-too apparent, but we are coming close to a time where the writers will be hurt so much by reality that they will have to write it into their stories. Just like the readers, they can’t hide inside themselves forever. The day will come when they are forced to acknowledge what is going on in the world around them, and the only question is whether or not it will be too late when they finally do wake up.

I will keep on buying 2000AD, because I can sense that it is changing. Two stories out of five had contemporary relevance, and that’s a lot better than most of the US comic books that I read on a weekly basis. I understand that it’s trying to strike a balance between seriousness and humour, so I can skip over the ‘Geek Loser’ irrelevance, and enjoy the stories that are starting to get real and deal with the issues that have contemporary socio-economic- political relevance. There’s no austerity yet in 2000AD, but I see signs of reality lurking, so I’ll keep on checking it out for the near future at least.


Best story: Savage/Grinders- 8/10 (Looking at the dehumanisation caused by drone warfare)
Worst story: Judge Dredd- 4/10 (Gloriously graphic and brutal art, terrible story)
Special mention: Station to Station- 8/10 (More stories like this are needed in contemporary comics)
Overall rating: 8/10 (Worth buying)