Comic review: Think Tank #1- Government is young, sexy and cool (Err, hang on, are you sure about that?)

STORY BY: Matt Hawkins
ART BY: Rahsan Ekedal
PUBLISHER: Top Cow Productions
RELEASED: 6th April 2016



Okay Matt, here we go again. So, what is this one about?

It’s about super cool, sexy, young, quipping government employees designing weapons to be used in foreign policy murder campaigns for the banks and corporations that run the US government.

But how will the painfully progressive Top Cow guys and girls write a comic book about government agents and not mention that the people being murdered are their favourite tolerate friends, the Muslims?

Remember that you are not allowed to have Muslim terrorists as the villains in a progressive comic book. That’s a no-no. In the regressive progressive comic book world of empowered high kicking females and cuckold men, Islam is a religion of peace, and all of the wrongs of the world are caused by evil, right-wing (meaning Christian) white men. That’s the blind as a bat truth, as told in comic books, and if you disagree, then you are obviously a racist, sexist, homophobic, Islamaphobic, Trump supporting bigot.

Compromised hoodie. Slack Wives Matter?

You are not a racist, are you?

Sorry, but that’s how it works, that’s the indoctrination you get from your comic books. Sorry kids, but it’s true.

Don’t worry progressives, you can read this comic book and still feel good about yourself, as the tricky real world reality of global Islamic terrorism is not mentioned in this comic book. Top Cow gets around the problem by featuring some African terrorists that most people have never heard of, and by only referring to them by the name of their gang, and not by the name that really identifies them, that being: ISLAMIC TERRORISTS.

Of course the terrorists are Islamists, they always are, but that’s not mentioned here, so don’t worry your sweet progressive heads about it. Plus, all of the main characters are ‘diverse,’ and the hero has a black girlfriend, so you can be sure that he’s a good guy, or is he? He is a white male after all. Yes, you can read this comic book and feel progressively good about yourself, so don’t worry. Reality step aside, here comes the comic book choo choo train of politically correct unreality, driven by your friendly liberals at Top Cow Productions.

The book isn’t going to stress you with boring ‘politics’ talk. It’s more concerned with a cool guy with great hair, and an empowered young female working (as leader, obviously) in super- sexy government funded astrophysics swimming pool related research. The plot is paranoia central, with an idea coming from a book about the power grid going down. Err, hasn’t that been done before, like, a lot? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you didn’t expect originality here, did you? Is it going to have desperate humans acting like zombies? Is it going to feature super-smart commentary on capitalism/shopping being bad, or something? Probably, we all like zombies, communism and old metaphors, right?

Hey Matt, writers write what they know, don’t they? I write. I write what I know. I don’t write about CIA agents because I don’t know a thing about CIA agents, mainly because I am not a CIA agent, and I don’t know any CIA agents either. (Insert passive-aggressive smarmy quip about ‘research’ here)

So, as a guy who obviously doesn’t do any research at all, what do I write about? I write about solitary blokes looking at the world from the outside. I write about anarchists, people outside, happily outside, and not looking to get corrupted by the beast of government, and then I read a comic book like ‘Think Tank #1’ and it’s all about government insiders.

US comic book industry, why do you keep on biting me on the butt? Why do you continue to ignore reality, and continue to suck? Why do I keep on giving you chance after chance after chance? I must be suffering from some kind of expensively made-up psychological disorder. Why do I keep on going back to my perpetual abuser? Somebody call me a lawyer, I can make some money out of this, can’t I?

President Matt is either already an insider, or he wants to be one. Wish fulfilment or writing your life? I don’t think that he’s cashing a cheque from the CIA, I really don’t. His persistent virtue signalling tells me that he’s just another modern US progressive, he writes what he believes in, that’s all. I don’t hate the guy. Either way, Matt is a statist kind of guy who thinks that state order followers are young, sexy and cool, so I can see why he has found his place in US comic books.

The US comic book industry is drowning in cultural Marxism, progressive politics and statism, so I shouldn’t act all surprised about this book.

He's cool, he's sexy, he's making guns for government.

It’s an advert, for the state: Join the cult of government. See the world. Shoot somebody in the head (from a safe distance, and with night-vision goggles) it will be a lot of fun.

And for those saying, ‘But there’s a twist, the protagonist is actually fighting against the corrupt elites, blah, blah blah,’ that’s not really the point I’m making here. Of course there’s a twist, that’s how it always works in comic books, but I’m not going to be hanging around with the super cool sexy government employees whilst waiting for it. That costs me time, and money, and I’m not wasting it on a book like this.

I guess what really bugs me about ‘Think Tank #1’ is that the government characters are portrayed as wacky, interesting, sexy, cool individuals that you really would want to be friends with. Yuck. It would be like doing a book about Hell-hole Communist Russia with Stalin and all of his chums having wacky, super progressive and self-aware conversations, whilst our hero sexy guy is doing the twisty turny thing. Sod that. I’m not reading an entire arc full of smiling nut-job government twats in sexy land. Sod the mentalness of it, if that’s even a bloody word, and it should be. Sod it, sod this comic, and sod the progressively insane government-worshipping world of cloud cuckoo land leftism.

Humanity continues to suffer from the authority worshipping disease called statism, and ‘Think Tank #1’ portrays that brain-rotting disease to an absolute tee. The protagonist could end up being my kind of anarchist, turning against his programming in order to promote a new world of volunteerism and self determination away from the centralised tyranny of the state, but do I trust Matt Hawkins to write that? In short, no, I don’t. What I do expect is more of the same government worship that I have read in his other books. I expect calls for better pigs in the system (Ref: Animal farm), rather than real solutions to the problems caused by large socialist governments. I’m not reading that. I’m not subjecting myself to more of that, whilst hoping for an anarchist twist at the end of the book. Everything that I’ve read in issue #1 tells me that the writer thinks that government is cool.

I disagree.

Government is not young, sexy or cool. Government is a gun to your head, pay us our tribute, or you are dead. Government is a gangster, a thug coward who wants you to worship him like a God. Sod off government. You are not God. I will not worship you. I will not join your cult.

Time’s up Top Cow, last chance gone. I’ll look elsewhere for some sanity in this dark world, because I’m certainly not going to find it in anything that you are pumping out. I wish you the best, but I can’t get to where I want to go on your progressive ride to nowhere.



Rating: N/A (An anarchist rating a progressive statist’s love letter to government wouldn’t be fair, would it? It would be like an atheist reviewing the Bible. Err hang on, didn’t that Dawkins bloke make a career out of that? Oh well, low hanging fruits. I’ll choose to pass.)